A Mandolin. @theamandolin - Tumblr Blog

bob-belcher

#insomnia

Last night Evan told me “since you’ve started having casual sex you have somehow gotten like 75% more attractive”

Which is simultaneously hilarious to get from my best friend’s husband and also very flattering 😊

I love Queen B, but I just don't think she's the greatest example for black girls. She's constantly bleaching her skin, straightening her hair and bleaching it blonde... I know she's probably pressured, but while I like seeing black women achieving things I think they could be more natural. Saying you're proud of being black and then hiding it is like saying you're not a racist and then never really doing anything to end racism... Again, I love her, but I'd love her more if she were + natural...

She is natural. Move on.

Eon

theamandolin

In the summer, my skin is a different color than in the winter.

Sometimes I dye my hair purple.

I must be ashamed of my race.

Good lord people are dumb.

goosewithajob

If anyone tries to tell you that Shakespeare is stuffy or boring or highbrow, just remember that the word “nothing” was used in Elizabethan era slang as a euphemism for “vagina”.

Shakespeare has a play called “Much Ado About Nothing”, which you could basically read in modern slang as “Freaking Out Over Pussy”. And that’s pretty much exactly what happens in the play.

kiralamouse

It’s also a pun with a third meaning. There’s the sex sense of much ado about “nothing”, there’s the obvious sense that people today see, and then there’s the fact that in Shakespeare’s day, “nothing” was pronounced pretty much the same as “noting”, which was a term used for gossip. So, “Flamewar Over Rumors” works as a title interpretation, too.

The reason we call Shakespeare a genius is that he can make a pussy joke in the same exact words he uses to make biting social commentary about letting unverified gossip take over the discourse.

copperbadge

So like.

A truly accurate modern translation would be “I Cunt Believe He Said That”?

strangeselkie

@copperbadge YOU GO AND SIT AMONG THE MUSTARDS AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE

copperbadge

I truly feel the ghost of Shakespeare has never been more proud of me.

caffeinewitchcraft

I feel Shakespeare’s approval in this chili’s tonight

This is my kid. For a while now he’s been talking to me about what it means to be a boy, what it means to be gay/straight, about gender roles and stereotypes. He’s trying not to be worried, but it’s pretty obvious he thinks he’s not quite average. Not sure where we will end up with the whole thing. But I do know that he finally earned enough money to get his first queer haircut! Age 11 y’all.

When the guy you’ve been trying not to talk to texts you at 1am offering blow...

Why does he know me so damn well when we only spend time together past midnight

#booty call

d0nn0

Just a reminder to check if you are accidentally using your data and not your wifi so you can swap back over

mylifebeyondlogic

For the love of god reblog this to be a decent member of society

Stereotypical signs my 11 year old son is gay:

Loves musicals

Very concerned with his hair and wardrobe

Has lots of female friends

Favorite artist is Kesha

Girls want to date him, but “my mom says not till I’m 13”

Stereotypical signs my 11 year old is straight:

Loves soccer and other sports

Yall I know it’s silly to try to guess when your kid is this young... but every time he asks me to help him put on eyeliner or he wants to pick out a nail polish color, I wonder. He’s the child of a single mom, he could just be imitating me.

I really don’t care much either way, I’m just so curious as to what is going to happen... I will have to wait 5 to 10 years to find out 😀

#parenting #lgbtq #but possibly stereotypical

Why Special Education is the best

I have a new friend. He is 12. I met him a week ago. For a few days, he didn't trust me. He didn't know who I was and I kept making him do weird things like "don't put beads in your sock" "bottoms go in chairs, not under them" "seriously dude, keep your socks on"

But apparently I bugged him enough that he knows me now. On Friday, he asked me "tickle please!" And thought it was super funny that I 'didn't know' how to do it... "tickle your ear? Ok!" "Tickle belly! (Hahaha)" ...."tickle your shoes?" "TICKLE BELLY!!!"

Today he didn't get off the bus till he saw me in the window. And he wants to hold my hand (actually only 2 fingers, not sure why) and he even somehow communicated that he wanted me to sing "Happy and you know it" and which order you do the movements, then stared and danced as I performed it for him

Most rewarding job. I love all the kids equally. I swear. But this one I love REALLY equally.

weloveshortvideos

if this ain’t me

nathanvj

me me me

theamandolin

Me. Except not those garbage fake dogs. I need a big macho dog to cry over

#dogs #AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

So pissed about the first day of school today.

My boss/best friend did not have her shit together. I knew she didn't have her shit together weeks ago, and kept trying to help... but instead she avoided me and just didn't do what she needed to.

Then today she was so busy saying "I'm going crazy, I'm not ready..." that she didn't actually step up and run any classes.

First hour: no one does anything for 20 minutes. Finally I start running our "morning meeting" alone. Then I get glared at for not keeping one of our new kids engaged... but I'm trying to work with 4 students at once and I'm supposed to have 2 other aides helping me!!

2nd hour: my directions are "run centers" but without any info on which centers or where I'm supposed to run them... so I get out their writing binders but apparently I put them at the wrong table? Like bitch you should have set this up, you were flipping out in a corner about how you weren't ready and I ran an educational activity on my own AGAIN don't complain!

6th hour: literally she hasn't scheduled anything, has all the kids sit by the smart board and look at the weather... then like walks off in the middle! I make up a frantic last minute activity where we check the weather, and talk about what to wear for each day. That doesn't take long enough so I pull up the lunch menu for the week and show pictures of each food, we talk about which foods we like and who will need to pack a cold lunch on which days.

Seriously, all fucking day I'm saving her ass and she wasn't grateful at all and I'm gonna have to do it all week because she's "so stressed" but I'm doing all the work ughghhhghghg