On Pain
I have been living in pain I don’t know how it feels exactly anymore. At an early age, I have been pestered by hyperuricemia (euphemized term for gouty arthritis). One, because I am obese. Two, because I love food. Three, all of the above. I would often cry in the middle of the night and would crawl my way to existence because of an ankle swollen in pain or a sole glistening with uric acid. Then I learned to live with it that it became part of my psyche and an affliction to accompany me in my daily wars with trivialities.
It seemed certain, but the road I travelled acquired me its greatest gift–diabetes. I had to puncture my fingers every freakin' day to monitor my innate sweetness, and puncture my self more for insulin. Until I have made peace with my fate of being given an opportunity to die sweet.
I have suffered from the greatest, unspoken tragedies of love that I understand how it is to lose one’s mind because of a broken heart. I surely and completely developed the ability to empathize with those who suffered thousand deaths because of unrequited love. I have almost died of suffocation because I had to feign smile as I let go of a love that is unforgettable and memorable. Then again I allowed my self to survive and go with the flowing river of life like a driftwood, until I bumped on a fertile ground and found an opportunity to blossom peacefully with true love’s blessings.
I have almost surrendered my sanity as I saw my dreams squashed by harsh realities in front of my very own eyes. In acceptance, I tried to be the best of what is left in my futile world. Fortunately, I have experienced milestones and accomplishments I never dreamed of really, but worked hard for to at least live meaningfully. Pain has taught me well. It has taught me to retaliate and survive beyond defeat. It may not coincide with grand ideologies of the dreamers and the wealthy, but it kept me alive and be better.
When things go against our way, we have to fight with all our might. When we are defeated inspite of our best efforts, then we simply have to go with the flow…. or exercise and live a healthy lifestyle! He he he!














