Simply Ara

im here not to rant but to atleast let out my undeniable pain.

[thearam-blog]

you give me butterflies you give me heartache you make me hyperventilate you make me confused you care for me sometimes you don't what is you damn problem w/ me? do you love seeing me suffer?

[thearam-blog]

it was around 12:30 in the middle of the night, you suddenly talked to me. You know i actually wait for a couple of mins to reply, i don't want to look that desperate to you.. cause you have no idea how much butterflies you give me from your little actions.. its torture.

[thearam-blog]

Its kinda gloomy but its beautiful to me. Hmm beauty is really in the eye of the beholder huh? :) 

captured and edited by the one and only

[thearam-blog]

lies

Out of the blue my older sister asked me if im happy, i made a wacky face because i really dont know if im happy. I asked her why is she asking, she said she feels that i’m happy. Though, im broken sis... If you only knew. If everyone was just aware of everyone’s feelings, life would be alot lighter to handle. 

I hope i’ll be happy, not just ordinary happiness, but the joy and pride of saying, “ I made it. “........soon. :) 

[thearam-blog]

I get this little pinch in the heart seeing comparison between men and women. But its a punch in the heart seeing innocent gay people being judged, stepped on, tortured/bullied. YEAH ANOTHER BITCH IS TALKING ABOUT IT AND SO? LIKE WHY THE ACTUAL F DO WE HAVE TO CARE ABOUT THEIR PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE IN LIFE? DOES IT BOTHER YOU? Are you jealous she/he can live the life he/she wants? Well then, go get your own life and stop bothering others. Like are you that bored? Its pathetic. If they’re not harming you or others, then why even mess with them? Society is already blind i hope it doesn’t get to that point that it’s super closed-minded and there’s no solution to it anymore.

[thearam-blog]

why..

You know what’s annoying? I already accepted the fact that us, yes we like each other but no communication are happening at the moment is okay. But its frickling frackling painful to me. How cruel could the world be to me? Okay clearly, i was looking for a song my friend sang but stupid me i just know the tone. I was browsing songs from The Vamps, and obviously i was listening to it, and i think the impact you get when you get hit by a car was how my heart felt hearing the chorus. CAUSE YOU KEPT ON SINGING THAT WHEN I WAS YOUR FREAKING SEATMATE. I dont know why it hurt. IM CLEARLY FACE PALM-ING MYSELF RIGHT NOW. I FCKING HEAR YOUR VOICE INSTEAD OF THE ACTUAL SINGERS. IM CONFUSED. AM I BUTTERFLY TUMMY GIRL OR KILLING THE BUTTERFLIES?

[thearam-blog]

stupid you

I dont get you.

Some days you look and smile at me, and somehow give me this kind of electricity running through my veins. These stubborn butterflies you feed to my stomach. This smile on my face that just pops out when you do some cute-idiotic stuff you do.

Some days, you don’t even lay a single glance at me. Like what did i do? Did i scare you with my loving personality? Am i that intimidating? or am i just really not your type and im just your option?

Sometimes you say the most simplest yet sweetest words, for instance your effort to remind me to eat at the right time and to eat lots cause you dont want me starving. next, you’ll make the effort to make me sleep, and not to stay up late.

Sometimes, you dont care. I would be tweeting like any other typical-dramatic teen, if it would be a quote, an emoji showing an irritating or devastated face. I would even tweet out saying “not feeling well. “ but no to avail to your precious concern.

This is when i forced to stop myself from caring about you too much. Although, there are times I cant control myself. That’s how stupid I am. Im stupid not because i like you, but because i let myself look like a pathetic bitch, i am.

Stupid you, or maybe….. stupid me?

[thearam-blog]

unfair?

I have been trying so hard, to please everyone just not to leave me. The thought of what is wrong with me is constantly on my mind. That cruel thought that is tearing me by bits, is a daily reminder i can’t be good enough, to anyone. I know this is depressing, but that is not my intention. I’m…broken. It hurts. The pain, is and always will be there. I have a lot to be grateful for, but when will some be grateful about me? (so self-centered much? nah.) The Me trying so hard to be good enough.

[thearam-blog]

i'm losing everything i ever cared about.

Ron Stoppable (Kim Possible)