ascumbagdontuk

the secret history | the goldfinch | the marauders era | classical literature | English + Philosophy + Psychology degree | hozier | boygenius | book updates | exam/test experiences | random essays.

[theartofperishingslowly]

Guys, what do we feel about goodreads? I'm having mixed feelings now. When will it GROW UP.

[dustydolls]

LOL I know exactly what you’re talking about but it’s my safe haven, I feel like we are a few years behind where everything is still exciting and things still make sense. I wish it was more functional sometimes but I love with heart&soul

[theartofperishingslowly]

It's such a comfort app that I can't get myself to delete it still.

[theartofperishingslowly]

Guys, what do we feel about goodreads? I'm having mixed feelings now. When will it GROW UP.

[theartofperishingslowly]

When the lit degree starts feeling like a not so lit (❌️🔥)degree because u have to read boring ass 1st grade level essays about manners.

[theartofperishingslowly]

Winter hit, and instead of Mariah Carey defrosting, I can see "cubatum eamus" defrosting instead.

Yes this is a sign to reread the secret history. Go.

[theartofperishingslowly]

Winter arc but it's just me grinding to make my friends read the secret history.

[theartofperishingslowly]

Successfully made one of my friends start reading, and now I miss the book.

[theartofperishingslowly]

Winter arc but it's just me grinding to make my friends read the secret history.

[dduane]

(via the author, at the Ex Bird place)

[wordfather]

*seductively* doomed by the narrative all by yourself, handsome?

[foundmywei]

gay people never flirt normally it’s always gotta be shit like this

[theartofperishingslowly]

Yes yes yes I love the internet, but goddd, I would sell my soul to be a part of Sappho's thiasos.

THIS is my doomed narrative.

[theartofperishingslowly]

Am I even my own person or just a shitty madame tussauds level replication of Oba Yoza?

[deadithurts]

[theartofperishingslowly]

the reminder of "here you are taking a breath" >>>

[theartofperishingslowly]

Honestly, I hope I never truly understand and decode the entirety of certain pieces of literature (especially The Secret History). I want to shatter my brain over it until I get lowered into my goddamn grave.

If Donna Tartt took 10 years to get over with one book, I'll outdo her by thinking about it for 10 decades.

[lizzyaka-deactivated20250320]

One thing i can yap and yap on about for ages is the fact that the greek class cant for the life of them grasp the fact that bunny is upset by the murder of the farmer

When henry is telling the story of the bacchanal to richard, he says bunny couldnt understand how serious the situation was because he was freaking out which is funny, because he was the only one who understood

Henry also said that bunny wasnt upset about the murder but rather about the fact that theyd gone without him, and that he couldn't possibly care that theyd killed a man because he wasnt "exactly the most moral man" as if u needed to be fucking gandhi to realize that killing someone is wrong

When bunny started acting out they were all convinced he was doing it out of spite or to get under their skin, completely ignoring the signs that showed he was having a complete nervous breakdown and was slowly losing his mind because of what they had done

This is because they themselves did not see the act as something that was morally wrong, but rather an inconvenience for them. Like francis said, it wasnt voltaire they killed. They were so out of touch with reality that they lived not in this world but in one where morality doesnt exist, one they are the center of where the gods personally descend to be by their side. They lived in their ancient tales and greek poems. Bunny was the only one who was grounded and they cant understand that. It doesnt even begin to cross their minds. And its the same with bunnys death, they dont care about the morality of it because in their mind they are closer to gods than to humans and gods do whatever they please. They can kill a farmer and who cares? Its not like he was voltaire. They can kill their friend and who cares? Heroes kill and heroes die all the time.

this distance between them and the real world is the most important part of their characters because it explains everything else, from the incest to henrys suicide. Bunny was the only one who was rooted to reality which is what always set him apart from the rest and most importantly why things started to spiral out of control as soon as they killed him. He was their anchor to the real world and to sanity.

[tendergraphite]

Henry Wintor's Suicide: An Explanation

To understand the why of the matter, we first need to know Henry’s past. To begin, Henry Winter wasn’t in a car accident. Much like all the other assumptions, it was born from another characters lips and not the subjects. Bunny himself says; “I think that’s what it was. don’t know what else it could’ve been.” And in my humble opinion didn’t draw the alternative option as, what is unthinkable is undoable.

No, instead the conclusion I've drown myself to is that he was beaten by his Father to such a degree he was hospitalized.

1# Evidence of my Conclusion

Henry is a poor driver, even with his precious Julian in the seat right next to him. This is in stark contrast to Camilla and Charles, whose parents were actually in a car accident, and thus get nervous days before travel. Francis too is shown to be anxious particularly when Henry is in the drivers seat, and is so ‘’even in the most propitious of circumstances’’.

Henry can make himself invisible. An odd trait for a man as broad as him, who already is intimidating to those around him. However, he wasn’t always that big, was he? Well, being able to be imperceptible is a survival mechanism for abuse survivors, especially children, which he was indeed once.

He understands Richard in a way you couldn’t without being abused yourself. Richard like himself doesn’t talk about his parents, along with clearly running away from something. The following conversation between the two was extremely telling:

''You’re not very happy where you come from, are you?'' He said I was startled at this Holmes-like deduction. He smiled at my evident discomfiture. ‘’Don’t worry. You hide it very cleverly,’’ he said, going back to his book. Then looked up again. ‘’The others really don’t understand that sort of thing, you know.’’

Henry never smiles at Richard. Hell, Henry likely doesn’t smile often not due to stoicism on his part, but due to the chip in his front tooth. Richard hadn’t understood what Henry was getting at, but to me it’s clear he was trying to comfort him by saying in a light-hearted way ‘’I understand.’’

2# Henrys True Past

Henry’s Father was a man who enjoyed having his way, living the high life with money and women. His business wasn’t ‘’quite above board’’ But money shuts people up—Well, it did. Until he got one of his young flings pregnant.

His family was Catholic (Many families were at the time) Meaning having a child outside of wedlock would’ve been unacceptable. He and his soon to be wife would’ve faced social pressure to wed, and thus, did.

After the arranged marriage, his Father wouldn’t have been as free to do as he pleased, along with now being tied down to a child he didn’t want. He’d have been enraged by the injustice of it all, little Henry being the target for this anger as in his eyes it was the boys fault.

Henrys Mother was young and without power, so when her husbands corporal punishment took a scary turn, she had no way of stopping it. Which left Henry’s Father free to do as he wished—Such as beating Henry half-way to deaths doorstep.

3# So, Why Did Henry Do It?

Much of Henrys behaviour gets dissociated from that of a regular human. On first read, he’s otherworldly, brittle and mysterious. We see the beauty, but not its second face: the way Henry carries an umbrella to protect his sensitive eyes; the manner in which he dresses closely reflecting that of his Fathers fashion preferences, as he had no one else to build his taste upon.

He grew up with no friends, utterly isolated with only tutors and his Mother for company. From what I can surmise, Henry wouldn’t have actually known how to make friends, as he had no previous interactions or social bonds to draw upon. It adds further depth to how meaningful his friendship with Bunny truly would’ve been. Bunny who is friendly with all sorts and highly socially aware—would’ve noticed Henry’s lack of companionship. Bunny, likely was Henrys first actual friend at Hampton, perhaps, his first in years.

Julian saw Henry’s vulnerability, along with his potential for entertainment. He knew what would happen when he introduced Henry to the idea of a Bacchanal—Of escapism and ascending: However, where Julian described it as rebirth, Henry described it as not being you anymore ''After all. the appeal to stop being yourself, even for a little while, is very great'' The further Henry went on, the more it sounded like a plea for relief from reality and himself.

Suicide becomes the only option when we believe there is non other escape. It’s why it’s particularly common amongst teenagers and young adults, as they struggle to see a future past their intense emotions. Many will have ideations for years and will do as Henry did, self-destruct in a last-ditch effort to create a reason to live.

The substance abuse, the murders, the killing of the first friend he ever had—Bunny was truly pivotal, as he treated Henry as an equal. Julian was the final straw, the last peace of approval and love Henry had in the world. ''I loved him more than my own father'' He said ''I loved him more than anyone in the world.''

Henry no longer saw a way out from his suffering through Julian, so he had tried the last thing he could think of—Which was to die in a way he hopped Julian would see as noble, that would mean praise he wouldn't even be around to receive. I believe that's why he held onto life for as long as he did in his final moments, he was waiting for Julian to come back and love him again.

[theartofperishingslowly]

Reading the secret history: OH GOD OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT NO WHAT WHY NOOO.

Recommending the secret history: philosophy and murder- omg you'll love it<33 it's so thought-provoking and stimulating :)

[theartofperishingslowly]

Ode to Aphrodite unlocked a whole other world to me. Thank you, slayvior Sappho, for exposing Aphrodite's thirst for drama and turbulent love.