The Back Roads @thebackroads - Tumblr Blog

Letters

They go unopened. Left on doorsteps; studio benches to remain unread. Or do they tumble into anxious hands? To swing out their messages to eager eyes, fumbling fingers reply in permanent ink and do they fall through the letterbox to greet you? My words are still written down - never mind if you read them.

#poetry #creative writing #my poetry #mywriting #writing #spilled ink

An Update

I am still in the psychiatric unit. I am allowed an hour leave a day, which allows me to go over to the main hospital and get a cup of coffee and a puzzle book. We're allowed to receive parcels here, so I've ordered a pack of coloured pens and some adult colouring in books which have always seemed to unlock my creativity. I did have some coloured pencils but they are all now blunt or snapped and we're not allowed to sharpen them. My parcel will arrive on monday morning. I am very tired all the time, probably because there is very little do other than eat and sleep... and though we try to find stuff to do, it's hard to find the motivation to actually do it. I've been playing my violin and trying to get involved with the occupational therapy, so I've been keeping myself as busy as I can. Poetry, unfortunately, is coming slow. I sat in front of a blank page today and nothing came. I couldn't even try free-writing, i just had nothing to say. What is there to say?

#personal #journal #thebackroads

If you ever need someone to talk to, I will be right here. Your writing is amazing and I only wish the best for you.

Oh thank you so much! It is really sweet of you to have taken the time to message me so kindly. I hope you are well <3 xxx

It's Okay

It's okay to say the bad stuff to the ones you call your friends. Is it okay, then, for them to close you off, choose not to listen. Is it okay, then, for you to curl up and cry and grieve for those who you never owned, who never cared, who never once took the time and stopped to tell you It's okay.

#poetry #creativewriting #creative writing #thebackroads #poem #spilled ink #writing #spilt ink

To keep you updated

I am feeling better this morning. It's lonely and depressing in here, but I am doing ok. Now that I have my violin and my ipad I have been working on some poetry and a musical piece to reflect my emotional state. I thought I should tell you a little more about myself. Vague reasons why I am in here and not at home in a comfortable bed with real bedding and all my belongings aren't locked away. I have schizoaffective disorder. It causes me to hear voices, become very depressed and do things that ordinary people wouldn't usually even consider doing. I took 2 overdoses in 2 days. The hospital didn't want to send me home and have it happen again, so here I am, 2 weeks on from my hospitalisation, sitting in the reception area of a psychiatric unit - Glenbourne Unit, Plymouth. It's hard. I don't believe that I will ever get back to that carefree emotional state that I was in before, but I could be wrong. I just want to be consoled. Being here keeps me safe, but in a state of complete frustration. I have been taken off all my medication to see what lies beneath, and it is causing havoc. I get moments of lucidity, but most of the time I just watch the time go by and feel like everything is one long drawn out dream. My memory is patchy, I get confused between the staff here and the staff at the general hospital where I stayed a few days. I hope this answers a few questions. Feel free to ask me questions, I am going to be more honest from now on. Perhaps then you might understand the context of some of my writings.

#mental health #mental illness #inpatient #psychiatric unit #depression #schizoaffective disorder #personal #journal

Burden

Close me in. I'm

in walls that hold me

still. I am closed

to outside, prying eyes.

Nothing and everything

at once. I am a burden

but you can't see me

in here. Can't hold me

Like these walls.

Can't support me

Like these chains.

#poetry #creative writing #mywords

Currently Inpatient in a Mental Institution

I have been placed in a psychiatric unit to recover. Things have been very difficult and I have only just gotten access to my ipad as well as feeling up to writing at last. My head is very scrambled, days pass and blur into one. I hate to admit it but I am very unwell... hearing voices and feeling incredibly anxious and depressed. They have taken me off of all my medication to see what I am like underneath as it were. I am so lonely here. I have missed writing my poetry to you, but now that I have my ipad I will be able to write to you on occasion. I hope this information doesn't put you off. I hope everyone is okay. xxx

our-angel-olivia

Reach Out

We are here to answer messages regarding any problem you are facing. We don’t promise to solve every problem, but we do promise to lend a kind and nonjudgmental ear for when you need it most. Reach out.

-Louise <3

thebackroads

Spreading the word of the advice blog "Our-Angel-Olivia" upon which I am an admin. Please feel free to write in if you are struggling, it is better to reach out for help than to suffer in silence. Take care <3

#poetry #creative writing #my poetry #spilled ink #spilt ink #creative #writing #words #my words #personal #rejectscorner #rejects corner #poem #mywritings

An Update

I am sorry I haven't been around to post my poetry lately.

It has been a very hard time for me, and though I won't go into details I will say I was in hospital on several occasions and am now under the care of the Home Treatment Team. There are ongoing concerns about my mental health and though I rarely address these concerns directly in my poetry I am sure some of you will have picked that up.

I think the arts draws people who suffer. Not everyone who is creative suffers, but I think nearly everyone who suffers can be creative in some way.

Anyway. I just wanted to apologise for my absence, let you all know I am okay - getting there anyway - and that I will be soon sharing my poetry with you again. I have several pieces ready to be typed up and edited on the screen, so hopefully that will make it up a little.

Thank you for your kind patience and understanding, if you wish to discuss things further my ask box is always open however I do not wish to discuss the ins and outs of my illnesses publicly, so please don't ask for the intimate details anonymously. Thank you once again.

Personal