the bat dorm

things robins say when you put them in a college dorm for an extended period of time. there is zero rhyme or reason to any of these. they get posted whenever we remember we have a blog. we did, in fact, say these things.

[thebatdorm]

Jason: "You were fine at first.

And then you did not have bones."

[thebatdorm]

Dick: "Are you attempting to mimic the stereotypical diet of a 1300s serf, by chance?"

[thebatdorm]

Jason: "Obviously, you must discuss the saxophone in Russian."

Dick: "That's the entire reason I'm studying the language, of course: to discuss the saxophone."

[thebatdorm]

Jason, enraged: "To have a tool that could so easily be used for violence,

and then to have to

t a p

This teeny little ball.

Infuriating."

[thebatdorm]

Dick: "You know. At some point in a century some historian's gonna find some interaction between the two of us and be like "they were very close friends" and half the internet equivalent at the time will be like "uh huh i'm sure" and in the meantime we were just talking about how to run a drug operation on a semi-isolated island off the coast of New Jersey."

[thebatdorm]

Dick: "I occasionally get threats and proposals from the same people. It's very exciting. Tells me we're compatible."

[thebatdorm]

Dick: "My house is just full of crocheted vegetables infused with stress."

[thebatdorm]

Dick: "There are surely other, undiscovered types of papacy to learn of."

[thebatdorm]

Dick: "That's not even a fun kind of evil pope."

[thebatdorm]

Jason: "Local man discovers he has emotions for his wife. More at 10."

[thebatdorm]

Dick: "Would you like to watch the Chinese propaganda starring young hot Karl Marx that is in fact entirely free on YouTube with me?"

Jason: "Perhaps."

[robs-your-robins]

I'm always seeing posts about Jason still being as flexible and aerodynamic currently as he was when he was Robin despite his new height and size and it got me thinking that after he bulked up from the pit, he thought that was all over and he learned to fight according to his new body but discovered that he could still execute a near flawless round-off, back handspring entry with a double-flipped pike position layout with all the precision of Miss Simone Biles while playing on the bounce house that Bruce got Damian for his birthday party and he's like huh, interesting.

[thebatdorm]

Jason, beta-reading a very angsty piece of Dick's writing, delighted: "Oh you are wretched."

Dick, ready and willing to twist the knife further: "You flatter me."

[thebatdorm]

Dick, confused, unaware of how charisma works: "Women want to speak to me about fish trafficking."

[thebatdorm]

Dick, elated: "With the right team, I can be a hit man and the Pope!"

[thebatdorm]

Jason, to Dick, who has just reminded him that he is not addicted to crack: "My mental association for you with crack (targeting traffickers) is slightly closer than the one for crack (prescription)."

[thebatdorm]

Dick, doing Research: "Do you think I can convince Bruce to let me enter a cocaine sampling giveaway?"

Jason, not known for helping Dick's impulse control: "Do it."

Dick: "There's 7 samples and only 10 entries. I think I have a good shot."