🌙aj🪐 @thebatteredbratzdoll - Tumblr Blog

slightly better

j and i on a 10 months dating date.

mamma, j, and i at barbie.

the mall+park with the group. four of us sat on a dock and talked about all of our secrets and fears. i’ve never bonded with anyone so deeply.

i feel better about college. i WILL enjoy college, and j and i WILL work out.

#manifesting #barbie #deep feelings

more reasons to stay…

i have 2 weeks left before i move in. and i just started to have a friend group. al’s bday brought a bunch of random people together, some people i figured i’d never speak to again. i have always valued having a massive amount of friends. the peach bowl trip was the closest i came to a friend group, however, that lasted at the peach bowl and in the group chat only. i love days like these. there’s just something about constant laughter, hiking, coffee, and bad driving. it was just unexpected, and it sucks that everything feels like it’s coming to an end.

#friend group #college

You’re fake.

but one day, you’ll be real. you won’t worry about college, and leaving behind j or al or your brother or mamma. because sometime in a few years, the call to the sea will be so strong, you can’t resist it. you and j will have a small backyard wedding in the mountains on september 23rd. your bags will be packed, and you’ll both have new careers. when you get by the sea, there’s a one story light blue house, with a fenced in back yard. you’ll get your basset hound, and your orange kitty. you’ll be more in love than ever and your house will feel like home. you’ll have travelled, acted in a movie, and hiked the pct. you’ll one day write a book, and maybe open a cafe. but in just a few years, you’ll have your little baby. and all the struggles and heartaches will make sense.

#cottage core #ocean

al’s sweetest 16🌱

you’ve given me the best memories and the best friendship, i love you🩷

#sweet 16

why i dread college.

i should’ve listened to my mom. i should’ve gone to community college and graduate with my associates with j before transferring to uni. i could’ve gone to every game, always be with j, still had my al and aj days, had girl days with my mamma, and worked as a part time caretaker to sweet old people. but no, i had to be stubborn. i had to immediately go and get “the four year college experience”. i cry so often, it stresses me out so bad. i’ll have the best days, but the second i’m alone to my thoughts in my dark room, i have to think about leaving my boy, my sweet j🫶🏻. how will i ever? i’m not dreading all of it. my major is outdoor recreation, and my minor is theatre. i’m joining the climbing club with a close friend from highschool. i’m doing sorority rush, despite that not being my personality. i’m so so scared that i won’t make friends. i’ve had so many people hype me up and say i’m a ray of sunshine, outgoing, and that if people don’t like me they’re crazy. but my head is so screwy with OCD and anxiety. college means growing up, becoming an adult, having less fun. i know if i drop out, i’ll just regret it, constantly thinking of the “what ifs” i try to see the positives, but every day i dread it more and more.

#class of 2023 #college

10/10

hung out with mamma, it was rainy, got bomb ass coffee

band camp with my faves(no longer in band, just visiting)

barbie movie w/al!!!

#barbie

this one time at band camp

it’s the summer before college. it’s also been a year since band camp began. i was a senior starting out on my first year as a cymbal, desperate to make my senior year fun. and i met the most amazing friends. the relationships and memories i grew were unforgettable. from band camp where i met everyone, to the brainerd game where i got close to everyone and realized my feelings for j, the fair where j realized his feelings for me, the homecoming game where we got together, countless competitions and nights on the band bus where we fell in love, the peach bowl where i finally gained a friend group and almost lost everything, and a year worth of memories that i’ll never forget. i miss it. i miss being happy and carefree and in love. im not ready to grow up and away from the happiest time of my life.

#bandcamp

summer 23’