BEWILDERED

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Going back

It has been a year -  a year where I left this gentle place neglected. I never knew I would ever post here again. 

This was my first rant blog, and I'd like to go back to where it all started.  It has been a year - and I have grown to a better person, or even worse. I achieved a few things but the balance never seem to attain equilibrium: the mishaps and mistakes are too much. 

Nevertheless, I have learned many lessons.  I will leave my main blog and I shall post here. Regardless of the amount of readers I have. 

I. won't. stop. writing.

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I just want to type, type it all away.

Feel the coldness of this tool created to help humans compose things that are so much fun to deal with, as my fingers hovers over them, giving a bit of pressure every time I press a letter, which will then be a part of something good, something that has comforted me ever since. 

I still ask myself "why words?" most of the time. 

Out of all the things I can be comfortable with, why words?

It's crazy to think that out of 26 letters, by just mixing them or even repeating some, we are given the a path that's full with words. Words that will always be in aid, when staying silent couldn't do that much anymore. Well, being silent is good too:

It's a rainy moring and I am alone, enjoying the comfort rendered by my pajamas, bed, and my beloved interenet. Spending my time alone as I linger upon this keyboard, trying to make people understand or perhaps - just pay attention with what bothers me at the moment. 

Words. 

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Strangers.

Hello, i'm back, back again. 

For the past few days I've been thinking about how everyone stays inside a person's mind either for just a while, or for a long time. 

Everyday, we meet thousands of people and it is a choice either to let them stay in your life or not. These faces we see, they're just part of a whole different person - someone who has gone a lot and experienced such great adventures that are yet to be told.

It is inevitable to remember someone's smile: how his eyes crinkles as his mouth opens up into a wide grin. It is inevitable to remember someone's modesty: how he clings his arm around you although it is very awkward that it sent thousands of butterflies in your stomach.

These strangers we see, do they even think that you are that great enough that they let you invade their thoughts? Strangers. Blurred personalities. 

Yes, you met for a while but is that person's memory worth keeping for? Why is it so hard to comprehend this idea? 

Are you processing what I'm trying to say? 

Because at the end of the day, we're all strangers that are held responsible to continue and go on with our lives. We are all different. Too different that there are times we invade other's minds. But as what I've said, we've got to move on. Everyone's just a memory. It is truly fate if you meet once again. And it is a choice to let them get into you. 

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thoughts

Isn't it amazing to know the fact that there's someone who's meant for you? The person who can make your heart flutter a million times yet break it into pieces with just simple actions or words? The odds are inevitable. That person might be half way across the world from you but life just plays with us, you know. Who knows that person you're meant for was the guy you bumped into while buying coffee? Or the girl that has been the one who motivates you to wake up every morning and go to school just to see her? 

See, there are billions of people in this world but only one is meant for you. A person who might be the exact opposite of you but at some points, you still match. I know this is too early for me to think about this but it just amazes me. 

[sai-lors-blog]

first collage yay credit pls this aint a free world

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375 NOTES WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD

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fun in our backyard // stolen

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Toasted pandesal and cheese. 

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Urge to express

I just feel like writing posts right now, I won't let my feelings wait. 

Four months from now, I'll be on my senior year and will be up for college. Several activities are being held to prepare us for our college life. But I think  I'm the only one who is still confused, undecided. 

The path to my career is still blurry and I do need a lot advice and researching to do that would clearly help me. 

- - - - - - 

I feel numb - I can't feel anymore. Not physically, but mentally, I think. There's so much that I've been through lately and I'm becoming confused as days pass by. I don't know myself that much, what I want and what I can do. This is pretty much weird but this is what I feel. I feel confused. Perplexed. 

- - - - - 

Too much yapping, I guess. Good night.

[thebewilderediaries-blog]

22nd day of February, 2013

Tied - that's what I've been feeling lately. I had been doing things but become unsatisfied about it. It's like I'm being like a robot or something - you're being told about some things and all you can do is obey or else, something bad is going to happen. 

I still keep on hoping for something that I will never have. I keep on assuming that the person I like, feels the same. I've made promises but only broke them. I've set goals but disappointingly didn't reach any. 

My life's a mess at the moment and I can't really describe the word "fun". I feel happy at times though, but it's only temporary. 

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BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

I think I'm going to move to thebewilderedkid. It's another blog I've created. Plus, I will be able to follow back. Finally! So just message me there if you follow :)

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Journal time. Gotta fill this page. :)

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Journaling :)

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Look guys.. I met Harry Styles the other day... <3 

Do you ship Harry and I? Hahaha. Ina+Harry = Ryna 5eva!! 

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Got myself another journal :)

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Preparing for 2013. :) Good morning everyone!

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Ohmygosh. Haha, hi! Aren't you Ina Manto of LS310? I am not sure but I think you are. :)) Well, naghahanap ako ng mga url na may 'kid' and then napadpad ako sa blog mo. Di 'ko ga alam kung kilala mo ako. =)) But sana we'll be friends. :) Sorry if I'm weird. So yeah. :) Allyssa nga pala :) LS 407. Mihehe. Ingat! ;)

I know you! Hi classmate on PE Class! Hahaha. And don't feel oh so alone, I am weird as well. I guess this is a late reply? I'm sorry! Hahaha. I hope we'll be very good friends! Merry Christmas, Allyssa! :D

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Hi, youre beautiful :)

wow, thank you so much anon! <3