CESARE'S GOT THE BAD FOOD!

Isola Affiliated Cesare of Bigtop Burger

[thebigstetson]

𝑨𝒇𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑰𝒔𝒐𝒍𝒂 𝑹𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒆

𝐀𝐏𝐏 | 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐒

♫ In old Venezia I made my trade

Selling marionettes in my ramshackle place

On that hallowed night when I lost my life--

All I remember is the gleam of the knife

I vanish with nooo traaaaces

I got friends in low plaaaaces. ♫

1000 year old grifter who's in charge of chasing down freaks

And putting them in the ground

Give him money

He'll give you a disgusting hamburger

If you wanna work with him you gotta look FRESH. . . . . . OUTTA THE MORGUE

Or else he is going to STICK OUT, like a HORSESHOE CRAB, in a FRESH WATER ENVIRONMENT.

Visit Original Link

[guidingstarmira]

It isn't that long, since Mira had just come back inside her apartment after taking out some trash, making her way back to the kitchen to finish making up something for the kitten before there's a very loud sound outside catching her attention.

Upon setting the food dish down for the kitten, she's making her way over towards one of the windows to glance towards the dumpster, before watching a body move about in it. One of her eyebrows raised. This was one of the souls that lived next door. Did he require something or did something of his get lost?

Opening the window, she rested her elbows upon the windowsill before slightly hanging out of the window, calling out to him.

"Did you lose something?"

@thebigstetson

[thebigstetson]

Make way for the resident trash picker, everybody.

He's elbows deep into the heaping mountain of garbage. Twas the night before trash day, and Cesare wasn't about to miss out on some prime time culinary inspiration. Picture this: local 1000 year old zombie, rummaging about, banana peel stuck to the top of his head, a chicken sandwich wrapper stuck to his rear end, and a twinkle of determination in his eye.

And then, all of that is interrupted by somebody calling out to him.

" NO I-- " COUGH, COUGH--

" NO I'M ACTUALLY-- I'M ACTUALLY KINDA LOOKING FOR SOMETHING-- "

[thebigstetson]

SNIFF SNIFF.

" I can smell it. The end of hot girl summer. And the beginning of. . .

Autistic Agender Autumn. "

[thebigstetson]

Thick Gatorade for all of you reblogging that item meme.

[punisheye]

" I'm taking this. "

The Cafe December trash can. He's taking it. There it goes.

He grabs one of the metal milk pitchers from the fridge at the coffee bar and strides after the little freak like a large, menacing predator. It's not that hard to gain on him, what with his long legs and all.

When he does, Wolfwood strikes the little shit over the head with the pitcher.

"Don't. Touch my shit."

[thebigstetson]

ROBLOX_OOF.MP3

[bigshot]

Dumpster diving hasn't been the most profitable endeavor lately, almost as if all the good spots had already been ransacked.

And that would make sense! Spamton has been deep into one of his depressive spirals for the past month or so, neglecting his old pass times, buuuut... he's also the only person in the city that hits up most of those spots. Hell, he's one of the only people digging in the trash to begin with!!

So when he's plucked out of one of his favorite bins, he's understandably a little upset once the bewilderment settles,

"WH-!!?? HEY!!! HEYHEY HE Y!!! !! WHO THE [[$-#&*@]] DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!!?? YOUR NOT????MY [my mommy and my daddy and my mommy and my]!!??!?" He's shrieking and swinging in the fellow freak's hands like an angry kitten, "GET YOUR DORTY [handlebars] OFF OF ME BEFORE I KICK YOUR [[HotTopic]] @$$ BACK TO [Drama Club]!!!!"

[thebigstetson]

" OH GOD OH CHRIST OH GEEZ HEY HEY WAIT NOW HOLD ON ONE MINUTE NOW HOLD UP HOLD ON--

He woke the baby, this was awful. Daddy woke the baby. What would his wife say?!

" ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I'M PUTTIN' YA DOWN I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WERE VIBING. "

So he puts the little puppet freak back into the dumpster, among the empty peanut butter jars and broken mop heads. The rotten milk can keep him company.

" Thought you might've been STUCK mi compadre, after all you're very, VERY tiny and this is a big, BIG dumpster full of mysteries! So, scoot over, there's DEFINITELY room in the pool. "

And he hops RIGHT into the sea of garbage, and begins to dig, because who the hell was going to stop him? The irritate hand puppet?

[normally-blue]

Just another one in a long line of no-ones!!!!!

[anttennatime]

...Who was that? Some human celebrity?

"That's the enthusiasm we love to see, folks! For the prize, heeeeere's your question!"

It seems in lieu of a stage light, he's using a flash light in one hand to shine on the (un)lucky contender.

"The High Roller is located in which ward of Spirale City? Is it: A. Fibonacci B. Golden C. Sunset Circuit D. It's A Made-Up Place"

[thebigstetson]

Oh wow he's getting blinded by a flashlight now, isn't that--

That's neat that's really-- Neat--

It's just like being at the eye doctor.

NO MATTER, he will NOT allow such a PSY-OP to get his head outta the game! His PRIDE and his REPUTATION were on the line. He could NEVER step into a Buffalo Wild Wings AGAIN if he got the VERY FIRST QUESTION wrong during a TRIVIA SHOW--

" That's GOTTA be ole Fib ward right? Fibonacci, FINAL answer. "

[thebigstetson]

URL Change

zomburgz -> thebigstetson

[computerqueen]

There's a horrific sound coming from the kitchen, and a nauseating smell permeating the air. It smells like electricity, melted plastic, and Queen's favorite drink.

This can only mean one thing...

While her work would most likely go unappreciated by other members of the household, she knows there's one person who will appreciate her crimes against food. So when she notices him, it's all smiles and waves, like she didn't just create the concoction she made.

* Hello Cesare * Would You Like A Smoothie

Queen holds up a half-melted blender. Inside, there's a mixture of battery acid and chunks of old electronics.

@zomburgz

[thebigstetson]

He had a ROOMMATE!

A real, actual roommate, not a dead guy, not his coworker, not his other coworker, not Steve, no. And not only was this a bonified roommate, she was also a computer. Talk about versatile!

" Queenie you know I don't eat food-- W O AH !

WHAT'S ALL THIS THEN? "

Oh it looks AWFUL.

It's GREAT.

" It looks like a Transformer threw up in here, tell me-- I gotta know the VISION of this piece. Your ARTISTIC PROCESS. "

[plaguewares]

The Merchant watches the energetic fellow pitch his trade- which, was an entire gimmick, it seemed. Even a gimmick had value in entertainment factors- people, to some extent, liked being amused, afraid... or even grossed out.

The peddler laces his fingers together, and listens, nods-

"I've never seen Fear Factor."

Then after a moment, "An' I can't say I know who 'Joe Rogan' is, but ya seem like a serious man of business, Stranger. You know your trade."

He peruses the wares that Cesare has filtered out of the dumpster. Old appliances, old wares, things in need of a shine and refurbish, and some plastic, fur covered, big-eyed toy with loose mechanical parts inside that rattled with the man shook it.

"I'm a weapons merchant myself, mostly," he says, "A bit of a collector when it comes to firearms and things that cause mayhem. Nothin' quite like the smell of gunpowder... heh, heh."

He picks up the Furby, looking over the squat body, "I'm not opposed to a business arrangement. I've got none of the effects I need to run a successful job yet, so I was going to ply my trade in repairs an' refurbishes 'til some capital could be acquired, mate. You need anything gussied up, an' I'll get it in working order."

[thebigstetson]

" A weapons guy huh, " Cesare squints and thoughtfully taps his cheek.

Conrad was the guy on his team who handled the cannon that was mounted in the food truck. It wouldn't be smart to divulge the existence of some of his more mysterious tools of the trade-- ( not like he had them anyway, for real, who robbed him? ) -- but what he COULD do was SELL things, no matter WHAT it was.

" Tell ya what big guy-- "

He drags up a trash can and uses it as a makeshift chair.

" You help me get my name out there, and I'll get you all sorts of inventory for your flip and ship idea. It'll be-- it'll be the best collab this entire city as ever seen! "

OH yeah, it'll be RIGHT UP THERE with the big names. Better than Britney and Justin. Better than Selena and Justin. Better than Chrystia and Justin. Now why the hell were there so many prominent people named Justin pairing up with others?

" There's a whole STREET of swanky condos not far from here, they throw out PERFECTLY good stuff in the dumpsters. You got a way to haul it? Because uh, we got FOUR arms, that isn't ideal. "

[thebigstetson]

" Thicken--

the sports beverage. "

[thebigstetson]

" Gatorade should be thicker. "

[threadrunner]

hand in my pocket but with dog temperaments

[charadrxxmxrr]

“Oh?”

FIGHT > ACT ITEM MERCY > REMEMBER ARBYS

“No, no. By all means. I think that the Arby’s part of this is very important. I will think about Arby’s even harder now.”

Wait. This is fun, actually. And this guy isn’t threatening like a human at all. In fact, Chara almost feels … a kinship with the man. He looks as dead as Chara feels.

“Regardless, whenever your job or your food suck, I have the feeling that you are not compliant with OSMHA [Occupational Safety of Monster Heath Administration] laws. Or, any laws, frankly. What would you do to make it worth my time to not report you to whatever angels run this hell?”

[thebigstetson]

" Wait, are you some kind of SECRET SHOPPER? "

Man they're getting craftier every century. First they were sending in white men named Larry. Then they moved onto the grandmas. Now they're sending in kids to fool crafty grifters honest men of business.

" I've never heard of OSMHA [Occupational Safety of Monster Health Administration] so if they mattered THAT much, I would've gotten a letter or something. "

Inhale.

" BUT, I can give you--

THIS PRE-SCALPED LABUBU! ! ! ! ! "

[allhesaid-deactivated20250918]

" have you been looking at the ground? " it sounds rude, which will only partially means - because, truly, how do you wander around spirale and not see one of the hundreds of buses leading everywhere? the trains, whose tracks are so extensive, they're present in almost every map?

besides, if the man is going to act casually towards him, he might as well greet him with some familiarity, too.

" no idea what san francisco is, but here, come with me, " will starts walking away, not checking to see whether the stranger is following behind or not. " i'll get you a cab. "

[thebigstetson]

" I've been looking at the ground extensively, exclusively, omnipotently. "

Why would he say that?

" Oh you're the GUY THEN-- " oh he's met the guy. The cab guy. The guy who is gonna get him a cab. THAT guy.

✨ Cab Guy ✨

" DON'T MIND IF I DO I've got places to go, people to see, I've got a reputation and if I don't give the people what they WANT then, well--

You've seen Les Misérables, you know what happens-- "

[thebigstetson]

For Subterfuge, the only difference is that Cesare is no longer a burger vendor. Now he owns an ice cream truck. With delicious ice cream.