Thank you so much for this wonderfully respectful response. Hopefully I can be as equally respectful with my response here. I want to say up front that I am so very sorry that you were treated that way by your male teammates. Nobody should have to endure that, especially in this sport.
I would, however, like to address a couple of your points that I happen to disagree with, and I know a lot of other players who feel the same way I do.
As far as the sexist comments on Elli’s post, it’s important to note that they go both ways. It’s not just everyone jumping on female players and disrespecting them. It happened quite a bit to male players in that thread too. so it’s not just a problem of female players being disrespected based on their gender, it’s a matter of all types of players becoming disrespectful and antagonistic towards other players based on their gender. For that reason, sexist or perceived sexist comments alone are not justification for the problems caused by the gender rule.
Secondly, I don’t think that your assertion that male players address the presence and proximity of female players with disrespect and disdain is correct. Sure, there are a select few, but that is a very small minority. There is also a small minority of female players who view the presence of male players in the sport with disrespect and disdain, so once again it goes both ways. The huge majority of players in this wonderful sport (myself included) are glad that the sport is coed, and feel that it would be detrimental to the sport if it were to be separated into different leagues.
There is a difference between being unhappy that the gender rule often forces less-skilled players to take precedence over more-skilled teammates and being disdainful or disrespectful towards female players. I am so grateful for my female teammates, and this sport wouldn’t be the same without them. I would never have discovered this wonderful sport if not for female players, as it was a female friend who introduced me to quidditch, and both of my captains on my original small team were female. I wouldn’t be here if not for them, or several other wonderful female players who helped me to progress in the sport. My female teammates are an integral part of my quidditch team family, and I will vehemently support them and their right to be on the team. However, our entire team knows that on our particular team, the best 10-12 players all happen to be male, and so being forced to play two female players at all times not only deprives some of our teammates of deserved playing time, but it also hurts the quality of play for our team overall. Our female players have acknowledged this, as they too want what is best for the team. I think the majority of all players in quidditch do.
On every team I have played on, female players have absolutely been given equal opportunities. I will give you an example. I was our keeper last season, and we played a one-male, one-female beater line in front of me. The beater directly in front of me who was the last line of defense before getting to me was our female beater. If we only had one bludger, it went to her. We didn’t say “Oh, go out and just try to make something happen on your own, and we’re not gonna give you any help." We did everything we could to put her, and the team overall, in a position to be successful. Our captains have worked extensively with our female players to help them improve, not just our male players. We are a united team, both male and female players coming together to form it. and that’s how we view each member of our team.
By and large, that is how most teams in quidditch function. Everybody just wants what’s best for the team overall, and cares about one another. I am sorry that you had a bad experience on your team, but that is by no means the norm. I have also encountered a few teams where male players are treated poorly by their female teammates, but that doesn’t mean that quidditch as a whole has a problem with it.
In the end, the statement that the gender rule isn’t about true equality is problematic. Because that’s what this sport is all about. Everyone gets an equal chance to succeed and prove themselves. So that’s why many players have a problem with the gender rule. It’s not that they hate female players and want to see them gone. It’s that they don’t like the inequality it causes, and the negative impact it has on many teams.
I hope this was respectful and polite, and I would love to hear any feedback or thoughts you have.