Hello! Thank you for keeping this blog and diligently answering questions. I have a character who is black and expresses concern that her sister won't like the level of care she's taken with her appearance. Is there a good way to say her hair was messy? My instinct is to use "frizzy" but am aware it has different connotations with a black character. Thanks!
Black Woman Character with “Messy Hair”
Trace your logic on why you’re giving a Black woman messy hair. There is an association to afro hair as being “unkempt”, messy, and unprofessional already and you’ll need to tread carefully implying messiness to a Black character’s hair. On that note, what does messy entail with afro hair if indeed she’s natural? Is the character actually neglecting her hair or just isn’t as elaborate with her hair routine as her sister?
In the first case, i’d like to know why she neglects her hair (depressed, overwhelmed with life?) and if being overwhelmed, why she wouldn’t choose a low-maintenance style like braids or extensions which can still look presentable with less time-consuming care.
In the latter case, associating the BW’s hair with messiness at all would be false. Low-maintenance still indeed requires maintenance and natural afro styles should not be associated with messy.
If the sister’s criticism of the other sister’s hair is a general dislike of natural hair, that is a touchy topic best saved for Black people to write, or someone really, really well-researched and who has had their works read over by Black people. Even still, it’ll always be best coming from the group as their commentary on the subject is the most welcome and relevant, not necessarily a topic for non-Black people to dissect.
Now, in the case you do still need a description:
Frizzy is specific, so ask yourself if it’s accurate. It’s not offensive to use in itself, though. Personally when I picture frizzy hair on Black people, it’s straightened hair that is reverting back to its curly texture.
Bedhead is another word that may work, if it applies.
Messy i’m on the fence with, especially not knowing what constitutes as messy in the case of Black hair in this story, so I don’t want to wrongfully condone the usage. Messy can be used in a neutral way, such as a “messy bun” style, but it doesn’t seem to be associated positively here as the character worries her hair won’t be accepted.
Perhaps you could choose words that don’t directly snub the character’s hair but instead compares it as less styled or as elaborately-styled than her sister is used too for whatever reason. This places less blame or negative association on the first sister’s hair.
Words like unkempt and nappy should be avoided completely, as they can be insulting and racially-charged.
See Words to Describe Hair for more ideas. You can still describe her hair in positive terms while just noting the sister has a higher standard for styles.
Unless her hair is neglected and in need of major moisture and TLC, I can’t see messy applying for afro hair alone and i’d urge you to avoid drawing Black hair into the conversation in order to show messiness in a character. Unless it’s in a specific style that’s gone undone, afros themselves don’t lay in a specific way, they flow out and up how they want to and should not be associated as messy for being the way it grows.
Everything from a less-than-spotless apartment or bedroom to her manner of dress can show messiness and be a point of judgement for the sister to look down upon. Although in the case the sister is just kinda prissy, it may be her high standards seeing mess where most people would not. More areas of judgement towards the “messy” sister could be her wearing comfortable, casual clothes vs. being extremely stylish ones, or wearing little to no makeup.
These examples don’t lay blame on natural hair as being messy and may be more appropriate, unless you’ve got the experience with the topic as a Black person who has experienced such judgement.
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