Cover Letter:Ā āWine Making Paid Internshipā
Part of a series where I write cover letters for job postings that catch my eye.
Dear Hiring Manager atĀ āWine By Joeā Winery in Dundee Oregon (probably āJoeā?):
I am writing to apply for theĀ āWine making paid internshipā position, as posted on Craigslist in theĀ āskilled trades/artisanā as well asĀ āgeneral laborā boards. First of all, I am very excited that this job is both skilled AND general in its content, because I am skilled in certain ways, and more āgeneralā in others. I contain multitudes, and hope you will consider me for this position.
I am a 27-year-old comedy musician currently residing in Southeast Portland with my boyfriend. I am talented in āknowing what things nerds like,ā as well asĀ āsomehow making ordering a margarita an extremely awkward experience for everyone involved.ā Those things are pretty hard for some people, but to me they come naturally.
I feel like I should say at this time that I do not like wine. I think itās gross. I already feel sort of guilty about drinking alcohol, because I was raised religious and many of my family members are in temperance leagues because of the sinful nature of alcohol. Since alcohol is, under religious doctrine, one of thoseĀ āsinfulā things thatĀ āfeel good but arenāt good in the āholyā sense,ā it seems super ridiculous to me that people would drink alcohol that tastes bad. If youāre doing something simply for the sake of feeling good, wouldnāt you want an alcohol that tastes good, like Tequila or Mikeās Hard Mango Punch? I believe that my ambivalence, or even strong dislike, toward wine will make me a valuable member of your team, as I will have an objective view toward the position and will never even think about sampling the product. I think my negative attitude toward your product will also spur some fun discussion, as I can provide an alternate viewpointāaĀ āDevilās Advocate,ā if you will.
It says in your job description that you will train interns in the skills of the winery, everything from forklifting to processing fruits,Ā āpunch downsā and running pumps. I donāt know what all of those things mean, but I would rather have the roles be a surprise, since it seems like it might be pretty dull. If I already know what to expect, I might get bored and leave the first day. I am interested in learning new things as well as making some money doing so, because I need to buy some more tequila as well as pay my rent, and new skills will make me more marketable to get a real job Iām actually interested in after this internship, in this competitive job market.
I would like now to address the requirements of the job and how I fit them.
- Long Hoursāany time spent in a winery will seem long to me because I dislike the product, so working long hours should not even phase me.
- Climbing Laddersāit sometimes takes me a little while to get my courage up to climb a ladder, but I have actually sealed the deal about 75% of the time Iāve been called upon to do so.
- Being Hotāthis is sexist and weird.
- Being Coldāoh, you mean temperature-wise. Sure, thatās fine. My natural style involves wearing layers.
- Lifting and Cleaning Heavy Thingsāugh. Sure.
- A Good Attitude Through It AllāIām a comedian and performer, technically, so perhaps I can life everyoneās spirits by playing a tune on my guitar while everyone else does work. This seems like a skill I could contribute without making anyone unhappy. I knowĀ āDanny Boyā and could change the words to be about wine.
Thank you very much for your consideration. My resume is visible at linkedin.com/profile/087743/Angela.W04H.02/index.html. Please contact me via email or text. I will not pick up if you call and I donāt know how to check my voicemail, for moral reasons.
I am ready to begin work now, as long as I can have weekends and some weekdays off when my band is playing.
Sincerely,
Angela Webber
This looks a lot like the ones I send. I still can't figure out why I don't get hired.
