sideblog.

description of group will go here. blah blah, wrestling fucking bullshit here. blah blah even more blah. let's see how far i can put this down.

[theblurriestlines]

hello

it me

i was wondering if you’d like to be elite.

not the dark order, or the inner circle

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I HAVE A QUESTION, HANGMAN PAGE OR ETHAN PAGE?

blah blah blah.

answer here

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admin note bullshit here.

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[cowboyyshit]

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I’m…working closely with our legal team to state my opinion due to my position ..and I just…have no other words. I don’t blame you for speaking out. I’m glad you did. Truly. And I just. I don’t know.

Ew. But I mean. Unsurprising. I understand. I never got the vibe from Marty. I just. I spent time with him just like you. Hotel rooms. Shows. Before shows….and to just feel like he was my best friend to not knowing him at all? I’m fucking wrecked. Joey….I don’t know. I don’t think…any of us could’ve known about that. We removed the BTES. She’s….turning 9. I can’t trust him near her. I don’t want too. Please stop checking. It’s just going to upset you more. You’re not the last thing. You come first. You and these kids. The business….can…wait.

Yeah, no, I get it. That complicit comment wasn’t a dig at you. I have the privilege to be outspoken because I’m not in a high ranking position. And its just that, privilege. I would have felt worse if I hadn’t said anything, even if I can’t go through and name each person. I hate that the people we trusted are like this, but I’m…grateful, that people spoke up. It needed to come to light. 

Right? Chase…I dunno. With Marty it’s just…I know a lot of it was before ROH…but…I keep thinking what if it was happening then and we didn’t know? I keep hoping that maybe it’s not real and I know that’s a selfish feeling. Joey…I feel like with Joey, he’s one that the gimmick was so close to the real person, like us, but in the disgusting way. And I should have looked closer at that. I saw that, I also saw Kenny’s statement about not posting this week’s. I know. And this is going to sound terrible but…I’m pretty sure she was too young for the age group he seemed to go for. It makes me sick to say it, but. And you guys have raised her well enough that I think she would have told if anything happens. But…I think. You and Dana should sit down and have a talk with her? Not about whether they did anything but like…what to do if, when, someone tries something. I hate saying when, but…given this week. I know it is, but what if something else comes out or someone says something and I miss it? I’ve missed enough. I told you I’m okay with taking a backseat, and I think this is on time my feelings need to. 

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No, I know.. I just was responding. As much as I hate it. It's okay, you know? It lets me cut people off a lot faster than I would've otherwise. And I just can't. I'm grateful but yet at the same time destroyed people are like this.

I know. I have the same thoughts. And selfish or not, I feel that too. Especially....with how close I thought we all were to him. For that not to have been mentioned...I. Joey just needs to be removed from everything. I can't even look at him honestly. She would've. She would've came right into my lap and told me. Yeah, I mentioned having a talk with her...in case. And Dana wants you at the table too. Considering...all things. Please dont drive yourself crazy, babe. I understand though. I know you're okay with it. And I know in ways, AEW has to come first. With all this coming to light. So we can take a stand. But. I won't lie. I'm pretty close to losing it. And we still have Hager and Roberts to deal with.

[cowboyyshit]

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People can bite me with that shit. You’ve got nothing to do with it. Tony just kind of looked deflated about it, honestly.

I don’t know about Chase. I don’t think I want too. You didn’t. From what I’m hearing ..it was way before that. And I feel bad for subjecting you to that. You shouldn’t have been. And I’m so sorry. Please don’t blame yourself. If I think about Marty. I’m never going to let anyone but you near the kids again. I know…I’ve seen your reactions. I’m just worried about you. a lot.

I mean, I’ve been ignoring it. I said something because I couldn’t…not. I’ve been speaking out about other things, not saying something would have made me feel complicit. I don’t blame him. What a hell of a way to get thrown into the shittier side of this business.

He claimed it was storyline. I dunno, I can’t remember what it was talking about enough to make a judgement. I just. I dunno, him and Marty I feel like I should have known. I never would have…worked with them, as closely as I had otherwise. You didn’t subject me, I was excited to do it. I just keep thinking that I should have known. I mean, fair. Cause honestly I was trying not to think about that. I keep checking twitter though, I should stop, or delete the app or something. …Sorry, I was trying not to worry you. I’m the last thing you should be worried about right now.

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I'm...working closely with our legal team to state my opinion due to my position ..and I just...have no other words. I don't blame you for speaking out. I'm glad you did. Truly. And I just. I don't know.

Ew. But I mean. Unsurprising. I understand. I never got the vibe from Marty. I just. I spent time with him just like you. Hotel rooms. Shows. Before shows....and to just feel like he was my best friend to not knowing him at all? I'm fucking wrecked. Joey....I don't know. I don't think...any of us could've known about that. We removed the BTES. She's....turning 9. I can't trust him near her. I don't want too. Please stop checking. It's just going to upset you more. You're not the last thing. You come first. You and these kids. The business....can...wait.

[cowboyyshit]

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TK contacting me about Havoc. And then Sammy.

Joey and Marty are just about to send me to make you give me the bottle and us drink together. I had to have Dana come get the kids before I panicked….cause….Kourt….

My mentions have been blowing up over Sammy. Like I of all people have any control.

Joey, Marty, and I saw some shit about Chase–he tweeted about it but I don’t fuckin’ know. I just. I feel like I encouraged Joey. We literally did a year long thing about his dick… Marty..on the other hand…I can’t. I figured that’s what you were doing. I called my mom and freaked at her for a bit. I’m pretty sure I’ve been teetering on the edge of a panic attack since it all came out.

[theblurriestlines]

People can bite me with that shit. You've got nothing to do with it. Tony just kind of looked deflated about it, honestly.

I don't know about Chase. I don't think I want too. You didn't. From what I'm hearing ..it was way before that. And I feel bad for subjecting you to that. You shouldn't have been. And I'm so sorry. Please don't blame yourself. If I think about Marty. I'm never going to let anyone but you near the kids again. I know...I've seen your reactions. I'm just worried about you. a lot.

[cowboyyshit]

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Fuck…about covers it, yeah.

I feel like everything is in such a tailspin right now.

Fuck is about all I’ve been able to get out that wasn’t the statement…before.

Not gonna lie, this is really making me want to start drinking.

[theblurriestlines]

TK contacting me about Havoc. And then Sammy.

Joey and Marty are just about to send me to make you give me the bottle and us drink together. I had to have Dana come get the kids before I panicked....cause....Kourt....

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cowboyyshit​:

@theblurriestlines

So. Uh. Fuck.

Fuck...about covers it, yeah.

I feel like everything is in such a tailspin right now.

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so hold your head up, work the room, smile like you ain’t nervous. and be the light of every party, with all of your friends. laugh it off, roll your eyes when they tell you that you’re perfect. yeah, you can be that with all of them.

but you don’t have to be cool anymore. show me the side that nobody else knows. drop that act with your keys at the door. lose the mirrors i see through the smoke. save that for the rest of the world, come on let me love you, boy. and don’t you know that i’m already yours?

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                                 time stands still and it’s only us.                     what we feel started way before we ever touched.

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Why do you look at me like that? Your eyes saying things that they can’t take back.                         Feels good, feels right, it don’t help. Every night when the quiet gets loud, hate that I know what you’re doing right now.                          Your arms around someone else. 

          Every time I’m next to you, I swear that you can feel it too. 

                   How long can we do this to ourselves?

flashback: adam and matt 01.