Little Junko and the Three Monokumas (Goldilocks and the Three Bears Parody
Just a dumb little story I came up with, since I randomly had this thought that Junko was kind of like Goldilocks (her association with bears making it even better). Anyway, hope you guys enjoy!!!
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--LITTLE JUNKO AND THE THREE MONOKUMAS--
Once upon a time, there was a little fashionista with golden twin tails named Junko Enoshima. She got bored and went for a walk in her neighborhood, hoping to maybe find some stray cats and torture them in front of some of her neighbors’ kids.
However, she got bored of that rather quickly and instead opted to explore a nearby forest, hoping to maybe find someone attempting suicide and to give them just a teensy little push. In the middle of the forest, she came upon a strange cabin. Not bothering to knock on the door to see if anyone was home, Little Junko picked the lock and forcefully entered the cabin, only to find that no one was home.
The cabin’s decor was odd. It had bright red walls, dark purple floors and there were picture frames of a family of bears, depicting a momma, a poppa and a baby bear. These bears looked just like little Junko’s drawings, with one half of their faces showing a cute, white bear and the other half showing an evil, black bear. They were a family of Monokumas.
Little Junko saw that there were three bowls of porridge on the dining room table. One was to the leftmost side of the table, one was in the center, and the last was to the rightmost side of the table.
Little Junko tasted the bowl of porridge on the leftmost end first. “This porridge is too fuckin’ hot! What kind of dumb shit left this in the oven for so god damn long?!” she screamed, so she left the rest of it alone and put a cyanide capsule in the bowl.
Next, Little Junko tasted the bowl of porridge in the middle of the table and felt a shiver go down her spine. “Hmm” she pondered. “It would appear that this porridge has not been properly heated and that as a result, it is not suitable for consumption.” This time, she decided to discreetly mix shards of broken glass into the porridge.
Lastly, Little Junko tasted the bowl of porridge on the rightmost side of the table. Instantly, she felt glee as her mouth began to water. “Om nom nom nom, this is so GOOOOOOD!!!” she ecstatically shouted as she wolfed the rest of the porridge down her throat. Once she was done, Little Junko decided to break the bowl the porridge used to be in for good measure, just to let whoever was going to eat it know that there was no hope of them ever having their breakfast.
After eating a delicious meal and feeling sleepy, Little Junko found the Monokuma family’s bedroom, which contained three beds. “Ew, what kind of perverted family all sleeps in the same bedroom?” Little Junko thought outloud with disgust. She decided to try each of the beds to see which one was worth sleeping in.
“Ugh, this bed is too FIRM! Do you expect my pampered ass to sleep on a rock?!” Little Junko complained regarding the first bed she tried. So she doused it in kerosene and lit it on fire.
With the first bed still burning, Little Junko decided to try another bed. “Oh dear…this bed is much too soft…” she gloomily said while trying to hold back tears. “It just can’t support a girl like me…I might fall right through it…” Dejected, Little Junko took an axe and chopped the bed into pieces.
Finally trying the last bed, Little Junko let out a scream of excitement. “OooooOOOH! This is so perfect for Junko-chaaaan!”, Little Junko let out while doing her best impression of a cat. “Junko-chan will sleep HERE, nyaa!”
Content with her choice of bed, Little Junko decided to get some sleep. She paid no mind to the bed still burning, despite the fact that the fire might spread to the rest of the house or kill her in her sleep, because she would’ve enjoyed an ending filled with so much despair.
However, she would not get that ending as the Monokuma family came home right as she fell asleep.
Paying no mind to the blaring smoke alarms in their cabin, the Monokuma’s decided to eat breakfast. “WAAAAH! Someone…poisoned…my…porridge…”, the Poppa Monokuma barely managed to get out before he began foaming at the mouth, dying seconds later.
The Momma Monokuma began to cough up blood after swallowing a few mouthfuls of her porridge. “Gaaaahhh! Someone put…broken glass in my porr-por-*hack* *cough*”. The Momma Monokuma didn’t even get to finish her sentence before she started to bleed out.
The Baby Monokuma started to cry, not because of the sudden and tragic deaths of his parents, but because his porridge was eaten up and his favorite bowl was broken. “Waaaaah! Someone ate my porridge and broke my boooowwl!” he whined.
Finally noticing the burning smell, the baby Monokuma made his way to the bedroom and saw what happened to the beds. “Someone lit Poppa’s bed on fire!” he screamed after seeing the first bed. “Someone chopped Momma’s bed into pieces!” he announced after seeing the second bed.
Finally, he approached his own bed.
“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed, and is still in it!” he cried as he woke up Little Junko from her nap.
Annoyed at being disturbed, Little Junko grabbed the axe she used earlier to chop up Momma Monokuma’s bed and chopped Baby Monokuma’s head off. She then threw his body onto Poppa Monokuma’s flaming bed so it could burn to a crisp.
“Ugh, well THIS couldn’t have gone any shittier”, Little Junko sighed as she left the cabin in boredom. Sure enough, the fire from Poppa Monokuma’s bed spread throughout the rest of the house and soon enough, the Monokuma cabin was burned to the ground. The fire didn’t stop there, as it soon spread to the rest of the forest, causing a massive forest fire. After Junko left the forest and saw the destruction and despair she had caused, she suddenly put on a huge smile. “Looks like I had fun today after all!” she exclaimed. She then happily skipped home, excited to tell Big Sis Mukuro about her fun day.
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