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[thebulletproofkid123]

Facebook wouldn’t let my friend advertise this event because being gay is offensive or some bullshit. Please help spread the word 

[thebulletproofkid123]

Super cool benefit show tomorrow in the LA area and all proceeds go to the LGBTQ Center of Long Beach

[thebulletproofkid123]

Going through an overwhelming amount as usual. Listening to music is the only activity I can currently do. On strict bed rest where I get 5 minute increments of not having to lay down. Managing this  all while a week away from an event I have been working to plan for most of the year is stressful. I have had some very kind friends helping me when they can. But I tend to keep my burdens to myself so it is tough to practice allowing others to help. I am staying as positive as I cqn but I don’t know what the future holds and this may mean I have to work 10 times as hard for my UK goals for next year. 

[thebulletproofkid123]

Things to do before you’re 30...

See as many shows as possible

Jump in the photobooth with some of your favorite artists at shows

Have another surgery to fix temporary blindness

Throw a benefit show to benefit your favorite LGBT center

Visit England and France

Meet a cool french girl when back home but only hang out for a day because she lives in France

Make the most of that day within your shyness

Interview some of your favorite artists

Work every day to beat the best of my medical challenges

Fall asleep sitting up at work

Just keep spinning.

I’ve dealt with so many challenges but also so many amazing moments I still feel fortunate which is weird to many people. I choose to live and to enjoy the brilliant moments in life that I can. The friends that have stuck around and new people that I meet inspire me so much with their kindness. When I was a teenager my mom was telling my friends she didn’t think I’d make it to 20. I don’t talk to hear anymore and now I’m about a week away from 30. I will live as long as I can and keep working for the things I want in life no matter how challenging they may seem at times. Dreams take effort and more for some than others. I’m the latter. 

[thebulletproofkid123]

When the dipshits that are in charge of your country infuriate you every day but you just found out one of your favorite bands is coming out with a new album and going on tour after many years.

[thebulletproofkid123]

The animation for this video is fucking brilliant and deserves all kinds of awards. This is great music for being in transit also.

[thebulletproofkid123]

4 operations in 5 months

Feel like I’ve been stuck in a wormhole for the past 7 years and in the past 5 months I’ve had 4 surgeries and am still healing but things are looking way better. The hardest parts for me were being unable to physically be there to watch my little nephew grow and being away from my dog for so long off and on. The third thing was actually having to take some time off from radio to rest. I have been so fortunate that the station has supported me so much and were even rebroadcasting older shows. I am also fortunate that the operations have shown such improvements in my health that I have no doubt things will keep moving in a more positive direction. I’m also finally going to go back to the UK this year and go to London Prrde which has been on my bucket list and hopefully I can get a DJ gig out there too because that would so be the best. Hope you’re doing well tumblr world and if you have chronic health issues keep your head up as there is still beauty in life and I can tell you that from first hand experience. 

[thebulletproofkid123]

We still have our radios and I’m dedicating my set tonight to all the nasty women. Being handicapped and having my motility compromised without major help from my friends I am so thankful for their support in getting out to the radio station once a week. The world is protesting we don’t align with your policies and we won’t be silenced 

[thebulletproofkid123]

If you’ve stumbled across this post on the internet you have got to get into Shannon Lay. You should go to her bandcamp and support an incredible local artist in Los Angeles. 

[thebulletproofkid123]

I survived...

So surgery went well and I’m in the process of recovering and what will be a series of intense physical therapy. It hasn’t even been a week and already within a day or two of surgery, I have needed almost 50% less insulin than I have needed in years. I have no doubts that I made the right decision for my health and that this surgical pain will only be temporary. This step was a huge one and is an adaptation but in personal experience life is constant adaptation so I feel like I have this in the bag. Confident in moving forward, leaving 2016 behind and kicking 2017′s ass.

[thebulletproofkid123]

Pretty much... with the exception of I’m working on getting better. Not interested in dating right now unless it was someone I had known from the past but not fully dived in. I’ve got so many random unlucky but solvable health things if I keep my focus, strength, and courage on healing. So yeah, leave me alone and let me listen to my records, sip tea, and get lost with Fiona Apple

[thebulletproofkid123]

This is how today is feeling. I am so overwhelmed. I”m not scared about the upcoming procedure. I’m worried that it might not happen because I owe my primary doctor’s office so much money and even though they have all of the tests they need my other doctor doesn’t want to fill out the paperwork. Our medical system is so fucked and I’m constantly in so much pain. It only takes one doctor to make you feel hopeless. 

[thebulletproofkid123]

Been listening to a lot of Land Of Talk lately and remembering how much I love their music. With progress comes risks, I’m not scared and after healing things will be a lot better in ways. However if some random thing happens and I leave this earth, I feel pretty content and accomplished. I would still like to be here and do more but I have mentored a few kids into strong young women, done things with radio I could only dream of as a child, have helped non profits, and shared love and kindness with those who came into my proximity. And those are all things to be proud of.

[thebulletproofkid123]

My mobility has been compromised to extreme degrees. Still I feel lucky to be alive and know that things will change but I wish I could just skip all the recovery process or at least be able to use one of my legs without extreme pain. I fell a week ago and injured my knee on my good leg really badly. I need an MRI and they suspect tears in ligaments or the miniscus. Technically I am only suppose to be putting weight on the heel of my other foot. But with the knee issue that’s just not possible. I’m going to be going in for surgery in less than 2 weeks and am going to need to recover in a rehabilitation facility so they can help figure out how to get me mobile and functioning again. I am in such a state that I can’t take care of my dog so I am so lucky to have kind friends but I miss her like hell. This is a really difficult situation and my sleeping is so off. I can’t take pain meds at home due to allergies. I know this is really terrible and difficult and will get better. I’m just wishing this whole process didn’t have to keep getting prolonged until solutions were made. Once I’m able to walk again it will be amazing and I will go out and cherish every aspect of the world that I can. My body can break but my spirit never will.

[thebulletproofkid123]

Never Had Pride In My Country

I have never been proud of my country. 4th of July was my favorite holiday because I got to see my favorite family members in LA plus fireworks and water balloon fights. Our nation has been founded upon blood stained hands that continued to profit upon the misery and cruelty bestowed upon others who were kidnapped and forced into slavery upon land we stole and created a genocide to acquire. Our system is broken and it always has been but too many people in our nation voted for the worst candidate. I will never be okay with this fact or the way we began as a country. I was really hoping we had a chance to keep moving forward but there is so much at stake and the tiny baby steps we have made could all be undone. There is always an unhealthy backlash after an election and when a racist, homophobic, xenophobic, islamaphobic, womanizer won it made the bigots feel empowered. It made them feel as if their irrational fears were not only rational but supported. I know personal stories of people already affected by the backlash. I fear for all the communities I care about and know or don’t know personally. I fear for humanity. I know there are still bits of light during dark times but I have experienced hate firsthand far too many times to not be concerned. I feel no pride in my country I never have. I am proud of the peaceful and enlightened humans in this country but I worry for all of their safety. I still feel sick at the thought of 4 years of a Trump presidency. I will never be okay with the fac tthat he was elected and I will never be okay with him as a president. I am thankful for good music and the fact that I have the best puppy in the world. These things remind me there is still beauty left. The thoughts that I am left with are not my president, not my humanity. I will not let the bigots destroy my soul or put out my fire. 

[thebulletproofkid123]

Been in the hospital almost a week and the pain hasn’t gotten better only worse. I have an extreme condition in my foot that while it was looking better and that I would be able to at least get into orthopedic shoes, it suddenly spiraled the other way. This is a condition that does not magically get better and they try and just make you comfortable while your bones break and you have dead bones in your foot. This process has been about 7 years and despite positivity, I have been pushing through for a long time. I’m hoping there is a solution that will free me from this level of pain without a life on pain killers. I want to be be able to hike and run and my dreams are not enough My friends that know are very supportive and I’m so fortunate to have them in my life. There is a possible solution but some doctors don’t agree while my podiatrist who knows my lengthy history is on board. Time will tell but in the meantime I am so sleep deprived and writing to you at 3 20 in the morning. Shine on you crazy diamonds and fight the good fight

[thebulletproofkid123]

Holy fuck this is still one of my absolute favorite Wye Oak songs and this performance just gives me chills