@thechuchutrain - Tumblr Blog

iamnevertheone

Maybe I am a monster. I don’t think I’d know if I were one. I’m not what you are. And not what you intended.

lovefortv

thatwetshirt

things have improved slightly but for the most part, where’s the lie

franknfauxpas

Where did the idea of vampires having balls actually come from? Like what started that... "I'm a bloodsucking creature of the night; I feel like dressing fabulous and going to mingle in high society!"

thecautiousbisexual

when i read this i thought by “balls” you meant “testicles” and i just sat here for like two minutes thinking about why vampires having testicles is peculiar to you and why it means that they hang out with the upper class

infininoodle

*prepares party popper*

infininoodle

*nervously shakes the party popper*

infininoodle

*slowly falls asleep with the party popper*

infininoodle

*has a wonderful night with the party popper*

infininoodle

*gets married to the party popper*

infininoodle

It’s a beautiful evening in February. My wife and I are sitting at the fireplace, when suddenly a terrible image appears on the screen of my computer.

My wife looks at me. As I look in her terrified, cardboard eyes, filled with tears, she takes a deep breath, before saying with her shivering voice “It’s what you’ve always wanted, dear. Do it.” My hands start shaking and a lone tear rolls down my cheek. “I can’t, honey. I’m not like that anymore.” “I will do it.” a small voice behind us says. As I turn around, my eyes cross with my son; our son. “You don’t have to do this, Benedict.” I say, as I hold his hands.

Ignoring what I told him, young Benedict Popper-Are Optional holds my wife’s cardboard body in one hand, and her long, beautiful string in the other. With tears in my eyes, I turn my head away. A loud pop sounds behind me and I watch in terror as I see my wife’s confetti spread across the room.

"It’s what you’ve always wanted, dad…" my son says, putting his small, cardboard hand on my shoulder. "Yes," I say, "but not like this… Never like this…"

jetn-deactivated20181203

what the actual fuck

infininoodle

star-spangled-jackass

why is there fan art

genandhisqueen-deactivated20160

nevermind that why is their son lettuce

haltingproblem

A team of UC Berkeley researchers has discovered that the 85% of the average tech worker’s clothes are free tech t-shirts, hoodies, and other assorted clothing.

The study of this prevalent free clothing, known by tech workers as “swag,” has come at the same time as a massive tech boom that...