All My Favorite People Are Dead or Fictional

A Music Major acting like a History Major who probably should have been an English Major

[thechuckman668]

OPINION

College football is ruining my education, and the education of anyone who attends a school that believes kicking a misshapen ball is more important than their future career.

[thechuckman668]

Hi, you’ve reached my voicemail box

I am currently working on completing my college degree. Because of this, the wait time on having your call returned is currently two months. If you are calling to ask me to do something for free, either in terms of musical performance, writing, or teaching, I will have to ask you to not call back. If you are calling to harass me about doing something not related to college coursework for you, you may try calling again on January 3. If you are a relative who is calling to complain about how you haven’t seen me in ages, please do not leave a message, I will see you on Christmas. Thanks, have a nice day. 

[thechuckman668]

I bought Peaches and Cream oatmeal and now Ringo Starr plays whenever I open up my kitchen cabinet please send help

[thechuckman668]

I definitely think music school should work like the X Factor...

Like, you go to your juries and the panel of professors just sits there and watches you, and when you’re finished they go down the line like, “I’m sorry Laura, it was a little pitchy, it is going to have to be a C minus from me,” and your primary professor just goes full Simon Cowell like, “What do you actually want to do in the performing arts? Because right now, you’re just showing me you don’t care” and your whole studio is in the audience and if you do well, they start chanting “A plus” or if you suck they just start booing. And then you can go back stage with your accompanist and just get all upset like, “They don’t realize what talent is” and your accompanist is just like “Yea, wow, I know, please pay me...” and the hall manager just stands there looking distressed. 

I think it would at least make juries more exciting. 

[thechuckman668]

Do Nice Things

Now, I’m definitely not the nicest person. Actually, I’m often times a downright asshole. I’ve worked in food service, I’ve been cut off on the highway, and I’ve lost things that were never returned. But we should try to be nice to people, because karma is a real damn thing.

Like, a little while back some guy dropped his ID on his way to class and I saw it and grabbed it and chased him down, because I know those things are important. He kinda looked at me like I was bothering him and was like, “Uh, thanks I guess,” and I was kind of pissed, like why bother trying to do the right thing if nobody gives a shit. 

But like two days later I had to go to the library and embarrassingly try to turn in books that I’d had for so long that at this point they were considered lost and I was facing like a $40 lost fee when I’m already broke. But the librarian was literally the nicest person in the world and forgave most of my fees. Like, she doesn’t know me. We’re strangers. But man, was I thankful.

So, if you do nice things, even if there isn’t instant gratification, somewhere, when you need it most, the universe will compensate you. 

[thechuckman668]

In the bathroom at school, washing my hands.

"Wow, been a really long, crappy day. Can't wait to go home and relax."

*Automatic faucet next to me suddenly turns on*

"Well ok I guess now I have to deal with this fucking ghost"

[thechuckman668]

Someone: Studying for finals?

Me, whilst compulsively writing an Aaron Burr biography to the tune of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” that definitely isn’t due anywhere at an point in time in any of all the parallel universes and is entirely unrelated to my major: Yes. 

[thechuckman668]

... That’s not what that is... 

[thechuckman668]

Johann Fux for President 2016

[thechuckman668]

When you realize that all this time its just been a marketing ploy.

[thechuckman668]

When someone tells you to quit tacking -ly on to the end of every word and you look at them like “Certain-LEE”

[thechuckman668]

When You’re Texting a Friend

about your Aaron Burr obsession and they type back “Aaron Butt” in their text but then follow it up with *Burr, and you can’t tell if they’re being salty or their autocorrect is being salty

[thechuckman668]

"Chuck look at this poem I wrote" "Thats just curse words and insults organized into stanzas" "...Its modern"

[thechuckman668]

I found this in a kids book and I don’t know why I’m so amused by it, I just am

[orchestraordie]

I gave my best friend (non-music) a list of 12 composers’ names to try and pronounce. It wasn’t pretty.

[galina-motif-blog]

menDELLSAN!!!!

[mikrokosmos]

Sir Gay Rack Man in oaf

[contrabombarde32]

@thechuckman668

[thechuckman668]

To boldly go where no man has gone before... New Jersey

[thechuckman668]

*Trump tries to say something about China*

*Fux in the background just singing solfege*