[officialcrow]

dont let a girl tell you “its not a race” during stroking. because it is. race to get the nut? won it. who got their pants on first? me. numero uno skrrrrting out the driveway? me. while shes back there in bed texting her friends about my weak dick im already making the next maneuvers. premature ejaculation is a social construct you tortoise bitch

[deathgripsforcutie]

doctor: well its a boy, have you decided on a name yet?

me: my son has no teeth

doctor: thats normal for a newborn sir

me: how will my child survive

[ghostlywriterr]

Interior of Esterhazy Castle. Austria

[wlwsupport]

im in a long-distance relationship (im in europe; hes in canada) and its been great! id say go for it! good luck!

[larchcoin]

[caravaggista]

[weirdnessisgood]

[larry-david-lynch]

he is making a purchase

[rygdea-deactivated20210530]

Top 10 Male Characters (as voted by my followers):

#2. Hope Estheim (Final Fantasy XIII)

[mynamedeek]

when he pulls it out and it’s huge

[afantasybasedonreality]

[bottomdiluc]

[zelos-wilders]

See? I knew they were hiding it somewhere.

[osasora]

[melkor-s-deactivated20160927]

[shitpostgenerator]

eventually dissapointed by yet another robot mess

[sbnkalny]

Massive units are slowed by following a new one from like yesterday?

[shitpostgenerator]

do not meme on my bear

[grumpquoteoftheday]

I kept expecting to be threatened with a baseball bat if I didn’t cook at home.

[GQotD]

[ajaegerpilot]

dont talk to me or my 47 porn blog followers ever again