catclyst:
Catalyst has never been one for politics. She understands the point of it all, she does, but it’s never been how she liked to operate. She’s never been able to help being blunt, being honest, being loud and obvious with her opinions: everyone knows exactly what she thinks of them, good or bad. And she likes it that way. She thinks it must be exhausting, to hide your feelings, to manipulate people, to try to say things in ways that will get you what you want without just saying what you want.
It’s why she’d jumped right into this with no reasoning except that it was the right thing to do, that V had asked her to, that Jet and Dark Wing had believed in her. That she couldn’t stand by and watch this happen without doing something about it. That wasn’t politics, it was just right. And she thinks Banshee’s right, probably, that White won’t kick her out, or punish her outright for all of this, but find a way to use it to her advantage instead.
But it only adds to the sting of understanding just how much of a politician White has been this entire time. A betrayal that Catalyst feels stupid for not having understood sooner, feels naive for even feeling as something as personal as a betrayal.
Maybe V had been right. V, and Doppelganger, and Overload, and the others… it’s hard to think that, when she’s still suffering the after effects of trying to stop their stupid fucking plot to kill all of the Guardians using an army of zombie villains, but it’s tempting. To say fuck it altogether, despite it all.
“I’m sure she’ll find a way to be very persuasive about that,” Catalyst replies, bitterly, and she’s sorry that Banshee has to be the one on the receiving end of her frustration here, when they’d just been the bearer of bad news they’d been bearing for a long, long time before all of this. And god, there’s that too, on top of it, the feeling of guilt in her chest, knowing that Banshee had been kicked out, had been all but alone, and all of them had turned their backs on them.
“I’m glad Dearest was there for you,” she says, after a moment, trying to shove her frustration to the side for now. She can deal with it later. Tomorrow, maybe. When she’s slept. When she’s showered. “I mean— I’m glad you had somewhere to go. I may not like you being a Guardian, but now that I know it’s better than the alternative… well, don’t expect me to go easy on you or anything, but I’m glad I can stop taking it so personally.”
The urge to reach out and console Cat is a tempting one, as they watch her struggle through having to recalibrate her own mindset on White. They nearly reach out a hand to her, but instead they keep it tucked against their side, where their arms were still crossed against it. Too much time and too much shit had passed between them now, they still had that bitterness in them, deep down, that everyone seemed to so quickly take White’s word instead of even try to reach out to them. It was no use in wallowing in that bitterness, they know, but its enough that they feel the need to still keep themself at arm’s length from the others.
“I wouldn’t expect you to,” they add with a weak smile, grateful at least that the truth had finally been aired out after all this time. They’re curious to see just what the others will do now, now that their blinders to White and her true nature had been removed. They’re almost sad they won’t have a front row seat to it all, once it does hit the fan, but they’ll settle for hearing it second hand from whatever source eventually gets to them first.
Looking back over to Dori, they nod their head, letting her know they were just about done now. There was really no telling what the future would now hold for them all now, but they were content in knowing they at least had somewhere to land now after it’s all boiled over.
“Take care of yourself, yeah?” They look to her again, “and take care of the murder robot/maybe boyfriend.” They shoot her a weak smile before turning away from her, giving her arm a light punch for good measure before they do.
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