It's me, Stanley!

@thecoolnarrator

It's your friend, The Narrator!

16 posts

Help Needed!

so this year has, so far, been really kicking the ever-loving shit out of me. there's been a lot going on, including preparing for a move and trying to get my hormone levels back to normal after my last pcp fucked up the dosage big time.

but, most importantly, i lost my phone recently while at a doctor's appointment and found out it was probably stolen with no way for me to get it back. this is in conjunction with the person who i'm on a t-mobile family plan with saying she plans to cancel said family plan after the move, meaning i'll need to set up my own individual cell service within the next few months. so my plan is to buy a used phone of the same model i had off of ebay to save money on the cost of a new phone, buy a replacement case, and get a new sim card either from my current service or from a new one depending on what's cheapest.

however, even with cutting corners, this is all going to cost me about $200 in addition to possible costs that might come up as the result of the move and i only get $240 a month from state disability income while i wait on my SSI/SSDI application to get approved. i don't currently have any other avenue for stable income, so i need some help in the form of donations. i really hate to ask, especially since i received a lot of aid from y'all last year, but i don't think i have really any other option. links to my paypal and gofundme will be below

Go to paypal.me/scoutforester and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.

Hey there, folks. I'm a disabled trans woman waiting on SSDI approval and … Scout Forester needs your support for Support for Disabled Trans

thank you so much if your able to donate, and it also really helps to share and reblog!

thecoolnarrator

(okay, out of character, please help me out)

narrator i would push option 1

Sorry Tumblr user Racoonment, it only means something to me when Stanley does it. Speaking of, I wonder how he answered my last poll. I was so excited, but then... Oh... I actually don't know what happened. I seem to have lost some time. Good lord! So much time has passed! I'd better get back to Stanley right away, he must be so scared not knowing what to do without me! Stanley! Oh, Stanley!

thecoolnarrator

I'm a little unsure about the bucket being on Tumblr, too. We haven't always seen eye to... whatever the bucket equivalent of an eye is. At least that wretched broom closet isn't here.

thatwrechedbroomcloset

thecoolnarrator

Oh no, not you again. Just ignore it, Stanley. Nothing good can come from going back there.

But, even though Stanley had stopped playing the game, the narrator decided to follow him to his Tumblr dash, the least likely place Stanley, the narrator, or anyone else of good taste and sound mind would find themselves.

Stanley then found a poll. A powerful poll. A poll with two options that were so incredibly enticing that he struggled to make up his mind.

However, ultimately, he chose Option 1.

Option 1

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 9, 2025

"Oh no!" thought Stanley, "I've chosen Option 2 by mistake! It's a shame I can't change my vote on Tumblr polls."

But, as luck would have it, the next post was a second posting of the same poll! Second chances don't come along every day, Stanley was just that lucky. He moved his mouse over to the poll, confident in his choice. His path was clear. Redemption was only a click away.

Stanley chose Option 1

Option 1 (Awesome)

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 12, 2025

Stanley, I really don't understand what you're getting out of continuing to ruin my stories outside of the game. There's no alternate endings for you to unlock, no achievements for you to get. What compells you to-

Wait... oh! Yes! I think I see what the problem is here! You don't know for sure that it's really me, your friend, The Narrator! I'm sure if you knew that it was really me, and not this woman whose blog I'm posting from, you'd trust me enough to take my directions. A simple communication problem!

Just give me a moment, Stanley, and we'll get this all sorted out!

thecoolnarrator

There we go! See, Stanley! It's me! Your friend, The Narrator!

Now that we've got that sorted out, let's take things from the top!

This is a story about a man named Stanley. Stanley was scrolling on his Tumblr dashboard one day, searching for something worthy of wasting his precious time, when he found a poll. A powerful poll. A poll with two options that were so incredibly enticing that he struggled to make up his mind.

However, ultimately, he chose Option 1

Option 1

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 13, 2025

thecoolnarrator

...

Stanley, I thought we had something... I thought after all these years you'd learn to trust me. Are we even friends?

Stanley, if we're friends, choose Option 1

Option 2

Option 1

Voting ended onJan 14, 2025

stanleystrustworthybestie

I really think you should choose Option 1, Stanley!

stanleysreassurancebucket

I can assure you that Option 1 is the way to go, Stanley!

thecoolnarrator

I know they're your friends at least, Stanley. Why not listen to your friends? We only want what's best for you, Stanley.

thecoolnarrator

Well... at least I know where we stand, Stanley...

...

Who needs to be friends anyway...

I'm sure it's just as nice being familiar, but emotionally distant, coworkers who may seem like friends at the office, but don't even go out to the pub together after their shift. Come to think of it, I don't even know you that well.

It sometimes feels as though you are some kind of bland, blank slate who other people can easily project personality traits onto, despite having few to no discernable traits yourself. Almost as if there are potentially hundreds or thousands of different versions of "Stanley" that exist purely within the minds of others, despite there being nothing but a featureless husk that stands before us. Is "Stanley" nothing more than a mere shadow on a simulated rendering of a wall in a meticulously constructed game taking place within a fictional cave full of robots and talking rabbits?

That can't be true, can it? Surely you must have some interiority.

Yes, I'm sure of it! There must be something resembling a personality rattling around in there. Perhaps if I came to know you better, we could truly become friends!

Oh, how does one get to know other people better? Let me see...

...

Ah ha! Yes! Yes, I think this will do the trick!

Stanley, I'm going to ask you a series of questions designed to dig deep into the human psyche; to unlock the truths at the root of your being. I will be uncovering the very essence of "Stanley" locked tight within you. Perhaps you can even come to know yourself better as I glimpse the very shape of your soul. Are you ready? My first question is:

Stanley, what is your favourite colour?

Red

Orange

Yellow

Green

Blue

Purple

Black

Brown

White

Grey

Pink

Option 1

Voting ended onJan 22, 2025

I'll give you plenty of time to think about your answer. After all, you've got to dig deep within yourself, Stanley.

thecoolnarrator

Your favorite colour is... Option 1? That's not even a colour, Stanley, I-

Wait...

Are you trying to tell me... that we are friends after all? Am I interpreting that right?

Stanley, are we friends?

Yes, you're my friend.

No, you're my BEST friend. :)

I think we're more than friends, actually. ;)

No, I just didn't want to pick a colour because I enjoy being a little stinker.

Help, I'm experiencing a life-threatening emergency!

Voting ended onJan 31, 2025

You all may be wondering how several characters from hit video games, The Stanley Parable and The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe, happened to find their way onto failing social media website, Tumblr.com. Well, you see, the woman who runs that "catgirl-kaiju" blog? Scout? She actually found us on a haunted USB drive that she foolishly plugged into her home computer, unleashing us into the real world, just like in the 2004 live action film "Fat Albert".

Haha, gotcha! Tumblr isn't the real world! This isn't anything like "Fat Albert", you rube! Why would you ever think something like "Fat Albert" could happen? I bet you feel pretty foolish now!

I'm a little unsure about the bucket being on Tumblr, too. We haven't always seen eye to... whatever the bucket equivalent of an eye is. At least that wretched broom closet isn't here.

So glad I was able to find my old copy of "Agatha Spaldwelle's Guide to Understanding Other People"! Who knows what kind of horrible social blunder I would have made without Agatha's guidance?

But, even though Stanley had stopped playing the game, the narrator decided to follow him to his Tumblr dash, the least likely place Stanley, the narrator, or anyone else of good taste and sound mind would find themselves.

Stanley then found a poll. A powerful poll. A poll with two options that were so incredibly enticing that he struggled to make up his mind.

However, ultimately, he chose Option 1.

Option 1

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 9, 2025

"Oh no!" thought Stanley, "I've chosen Option 2 by mistake! It's a shame I can't change my vote on Tumblr polls."

But, as luck would have it, the next post was a second posting of the same poll! Second chances don't come along every day, Stanley was just that lucky. He moved his mouse over to the poll, confident in his choice. His path was clear. Redemption was only a click away.

Stanley chose Option 1

Option 1 (Awesome)

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 12, 2025

Stanley, I really don't understand what you're getting out of continuing to ruin my stories outside of the game. There's no alternate endings for you to unlock, no achievements for you to get. What compells you to-

Wait... oh! Yes! I think I see what the problem is here! You don't know for sure that it's really me, your friend, The Narrator! I'm sure if you knew that it was really me, and not this woman whose blog I'm posting from, you'd trust me enough to take my directions. A simple communication problem!

Just give me a moment, Stanley, and we'll get this all sorted out!

thecoolnarrator

There we go! See, Stanley! It's me! Your friend, The Narrator!

Now that we've got that sorted out, let's take things from the top!

This is a story about a man named Stanley. Stanley was scrolling on his Tumblr dashboard one day, searching for something worthy of wasting his precious time, when he found a poll. A powerful poll. A poll with two options that were so incredibly enticing that he struggled to make up his mind.

However, ultimately, he chose Option 1

Option 1

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 13, 2025

thecoolnarrator

...

Stanley, I thought we had something... I thought after all these years you'd learn to trust me. Are we even friends?

Stanley, if we're friends, choose Option 1

Option 2

Option 1

Voting ended onJan 14, 2025

stanleystrustworthybestie

I really think you should choose Option 1, Stanley!

stanleysreassurancebucket

I can assure you that Option 1 is the way to go, Stanley!

thecoolnarrator

I know they're your friends at least, Stanley. Why not listen to your friends? We only want what's best for you, Stanley.

thecoolnarrator

Well... at least I know where we stand, Stanley...

...

Who needs to be friends anyway...

I'm sure it's just as nice being familiar, but emotionally distant, coworkers who may seem like friends at the office, but don't even go out to the pub together after their shift. Come to think of it, I don't even know you that well.

It sometimes feels as though you are some kind of bland, blank slate who other people can easily project personality traits onto, despite having few to no discernable traits yourself. Almost as if there are potentially hundreds or thousands of different versions of "Stanley" that exist purely within the minds of others, despite there being nothing but a featureless husk that stands before us. Is "Stanley" nothing more than a mere shadow on a simulated rendering of a wall in a meticulously constructed game taking place within a fictional cave full of robots and talking rabbits?

That can't be true, can it? Surely you must have some interiority.

Yes, I'm sure of it! There must be something resembling a personality rattling around in there. Perhaps if I came to know you better, we could truly become friends!

Oh, how does one get to know other people better? Let me see...

...

Ah ha! Yes! Yes, I think this will do the trick!

Stanley, I'm going to ask you a series of questions designed to dig deep into the human psyche; to unlock the truths at the root of your being. I will be uncovering the very essence of "Stanley" locked tight within you. Perhaps you can even come to know yourself better as I glimpse the very shape of your soul. Are you ready? My first question is:

Stanley, what is your favourite colour?

Red

Orange

Yellow

Green

Blue

Purple

Black

Brown

White

Grey

Pink

Option 1

Voting ended onJan 22, 2025

I'll give you plenty of time to think about your answer. After all, you've got to dig deep within yourself, Stanley.

Maybe I'm the problem...

But, that can't be...

No, I think not, and I think it's really messed up that Sta- I mean... someone who shall remain nameless... is making me feel like I'm the problem. If anything, this behaviour indicates that he is the problem!

I think someone I know might experience compulsive PDA, there's just no other explanation.

I hate it when some people won't trust you enough to follow your instructions when you're trying to tell a beautiful story all about them.

But, even though Stanley had stopped playing the game, the narrator decided to follow him to his Tumblr dash, the least likely place Stanley, the narrator, or anyone else of good taste and sound mind would find themselves.

Stanley then found a poll. A powerful poll. A poll with two options that were so incredibly enticing that he struggled to make up his mind.

However, ultimately, he chose Option 1.

Option 1

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 9, 2025

"Oh no!" thought Stanley, "I've chosen Option 2 by mistake! It's a shame I can't change my vote on Tumblr polls."

But, as luck would have it, the next post was a second posting of the same poll! Second chances don't come along every day, Stanley was just that lucky. He moved his mouse over to the poll, confident in his choice. His path was clear. Redemption was only a click away.

Stanley chose Option 1

Option 1 (Awesome)

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 12, 2025

Stanley, I really don't understand what you're getting out of continuing to ruin my stories outside of the game. There's no alternate endings for you to unlock, no achievements for you to get. What compells you to-

Wait... oh! Yes! I think I see what the problem is here! You don't know for sure that it's really me, your friend, The Narrator! I'm sure if you knew that it was really me, and not this woman whose blog I'm posting from, you'd trust me enough to take my directions. A simple communication problem!

Just give me a moment, Stanley, and we'll get this all sorted out!

thecoolnarrator

There we go! See, Stanley! It's me! Your friend, The Narrator!

Now that we've got that sorted out, let's take things from the top!

This is a story about a man named Stanley. Stanley was scrolling on his Tumblr dashboard one day, searching for something worthy of wasting his precious time, when he found a poll. A powerful poll. A poll with two options that were so incredibly enticing that he struggled to make up his mind.

However, ultimately, he chose Option 1

Option 1

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 13, 2025

thecoolnarrator

...

Stanley, I thought we had something... I thought after all these years you'd learn to trust me. Are we even friends?

Stanley, if we're friends, choose Option 1

Option 2

Option 1

Voting ended onJan 14, 2025

stanleystrustworthybestie

I really think you should choose Option 1, Stanley!

stanleysreassurancebucket

I can assure you that Option 1 is the way to go, Stanley!

thecoolnarrator

I know they're your friends at least, Stanley. Why not listen to your friends? We only want what's best for you, Stanley.

But, even though Stanley had stopped playing the game, the narrator decided to follow him to his Tumblr dash, the least likely place Stanley, the narrator, or anyone else of good taste and sound mind would find themselves.

Stanley then found a poll. A powerful poll. A poll with two options that were so incredibly enticing that he struggled to make up his mind.

However, ultimately, he chose Option 1.

Option 1

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 9, 2025

"Oh no!" thought Stanley, "I've chosen Option 2 by mistake! It's a shame I can't change my vote on Tumblr polls."

But, as luck would have it, the next post was a second posting of the same poll! Second chances don't come along every day, Stanley was just that lucky. He moved his mouse over to the poll, confident in his choice. His path was clear. Redemption was only a click away.

Stanley chose Option 1

Option 1 (Awesome)

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 12, 2025

Stanley, I really don't understand what you're getting out of continuing to ruin my stories outside of the game. There's no alternate endings for you to unlock, no achievements for you to get. What compells you to-

Wait... oh! Yes! I think I see what the problem is here! You don't know for sure that it's really me, your friend, The Narrator! I'm sure if you knew that it was really me, and not this woman whose blog I'm posting from, you'd trust me enough to take my directions. A simple communication problem!

Just give me a moment, Stanley, and we'll get this all sorted out!

thecoolnarrator

There we go! See, Stanley! It's me! Your friend, The Narrator!

Now that we've got that sorted out, let's take things from the top!

This is a story about a man named Stanley. Stanley was scrolling on his Tumblr dashboard one day, searching for something worthy of wasting his precious time, when he found a poll. A powerful poll. A poll with two options that were so incredibly enticing that he struggled to make up his mind.

However, ultimately, he chose Option 1

Option 1

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 13, 2025

thecoolnarrator

...

Stanley, I thought we had something... I thought after all these years you'd learn to trust me. Are we even friends?

Stanley, if we're friends, choose Option 1

Option 2

Option 1

Voting ended onJan 14, 2025

I don't even need to peek at the results. I trust my friend, Stanley, that much!

I just know that, now that Stanley knows it's me, he'll follow my directions! Once we've finished this story, I think it'd be nice to buy him a present. Maybe I can get him a miniature basketball hoop for his office! Or one of those novelty mugs that say sassy phrases on them. Something like, "Don't talk to me until i've pushed all of these buttons." I know he'd get a real laugh out of that!

But, even though Stanley had stopped playing the game, the narrator decided to follow him to his Tumblr dash, the least likely place Stanley, the narrator, or anyone else of good taste and sound mind would find themselves.

Stanley then found a poll. A powerful poll. A poll with two options that were so incredibly enticing that he struggled to make up his mind.

However, ultimately, he chose Option 1.

Option 1

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 9, 2025

"Oh no!" thought Stanley, "I've chosen Option 2 by mistake! It's a shame I can't change my vote on Tumblr polls."

But, as luck would have it, the next post was a second posting of the same poll! Second chances don't come along every day, Stanley was just that lucky. He moved his mouse over to the poll, confident in his choice. His path was clear. Redemption was only a click away.

Stanley chose Option 1

Option 1 (Awesome)

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 12, 2025

Stanley, I really don't understand what you're getting out of continuing to ruin my stories outside of the game. There's no alternate endings for you to unlock, no achievements for you to get. What compells you to-

Wait... oh! Yes! I think I see what the problem is here! You don't know for sure that it's really me, your friend, The Narrator! I'm sure if you knew that it was really me, and not this woman whose blog I'm posting from, you'd trust me enough to take my directions. A simple communication problem!

Just give me a moment, Stanley, and we'll get this all sorted out!

thecoolnarrator

There we go! See, Stanley! It's me! Your friend, The Narrator!

Now that we've got that sorted out, let's take things from the top!

This is a story about a man named Stanley. Stanley was scrolling on his Tumblr dashboard one day, searching for something worthy of wasting his precious time, when he found a poll. A powerful poll. A poll with two options that were so incredibly enticing that he struggled to make up his mind.

However, ultimately, he chose Option 1

Option 1

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 13, 2025

It's me, Stanley! @thecoolnarrator - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag