Explore my kingdom

Can we pretend that my tumblr name was meant sarcastically If you are feeling down maybe my 'hang in there' tag will cheer you up ♥️

[mathlaskohlers-deactivated20160]

when yr fav person gives u attention w/o u askin for it

[onewhoturns]

me, looking at bears gettin fat and sleepin

[llleighsmith]

turns out you don’t have to be beautiful at all, you can just be

[expiredpersona]

[medranochav]

PERCHED💅🏼

[somewhereinthedetails217]

We should all be in fear of anyone strong enough to balance and literally support their entire mass in that pose on tiptoes.

[dr-gloom]

She ain’t even wearing a decent heel support like the lady behind her. No, this queen is wearing goddamn stilettos. You know how hard it is to walk in stilettos, let alone balance your weight on one foot? And she’s doing more than that, she’s literally resting all her weight on that foot. This is insane, she could kick all of our asses.

[pukeyj]

[antibacterialgeometer]

if this ain’t me

[drinkyourjuiceshelby]

[theconcealedweapon]

[vintar]

i was at the zoo and just kind of vagueing out leaning on a rail and watching the duck pond and in the background a kid started yelling “he’s coming for you! he’s coming for you!!” and i thought it was some game she was playing with her family or something up until i felt a little hand grab my elbow and looked down to see this tiny wide-eyed child staring up at me with the world’s most serious expression and she said in a solemn voice

“he’s here for you”

and something reached out and grabbed my other hand

it turns out that a resident cockatoo has figured out that if it just waddles back and forth along the rail it can get the maximum amount of attention and headskritches with the minimum amount of flying and objectively this is very cute but at the same time this was very nearly the way that a grown adult died of a heart attack at the zoo

[vintar]

# wait wtf is that the bird from the adelaide zoo??? # I CAN’T BELIEVE THERE’S A POST ABOUT MY SWORN ENEMY # he literally chases after you if you ignore him fck that guy holyshti

lmao yep that’s the one!

i love bird tumblr so much, where else could you go “hey look at this bird” and have a complete stranger not only know where it lives, but declare that it’s their nemesis

[thehotgirlproject]

This is legit my favorite post

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

im crying, the giant snowman I built yesterday started to fall over last night but I guess it froze and now it looks like this

[topmeladies]

My goal in life? Me and my girlfriend are on holiday somewhere where they speak Spanish. We’re at a restaurant. The server comes up to us to ask us what we want to order. I speak to the waiter. My Spanish is flawless. My girlfriend looks at me in awe. We don’t end up eating dinner bc we go back to the hotel where she fucks me senseless. The end.

[seasammy]

Wow, the people at duolingo are really getting more creative with their ads

[wrightedgar]

Howard the Duck (1986) dir. Willard Huyck

Bonus:

[kingsteve-more-like-dadsteve]

Hi yeah I’ve never seen this movie and I just wanna say, What the Fuck

[teenagedream]

how to make tea

[jaw8jaw]

Alice Goodridge using a sledgehammer to break up the ice at Loch Insh in the Scottish Highlands before her morning swim. Photo by Euan Cherry, February 2019. 

[glnger-ale-official]

God could you imagine not giving a fuck about anything

[whitepeopletwitter]

[catchymemes]

[unpretty]

i was walking to class and turned a corner and stopped in my tracks because there was a dachshund and i did not know how to respond

[unpretty]

it only just occurred to me that this post is way funnier if you know that my dad has had a scar on his face since before i was born, left there by a dachshund attack

[gobblechopstv]

[silver-tongues-blog]

sometimes i forget that bart is canonically a telepath

[theproblematicblogger]

[mycaell]

SCAMMED LMAOOOOOO

[calebmp3]

[loremerchant]

Objection, your honor. There has been no scam. The defendant clearly stated that they would tell the plaintiff’s girlfriend if the plaintiff bought the defendant a pizza. It was the failure of the plaintiff to heed the terms before agreeing to them that resulted in his infidelity being exposed.

[opposite-of-a-problem-deactivat]

Sustained.