The Daily Soph

Daily thoughts from me, Sophie. Sometimes sarcastic, sometimes informative, but mostly awesome (this can't be argued). 20. NYC. @thedailysoph

[thedailysoph]

I MADE A YOUTUBE CHANNEL ALL FOR ME!!

Subscribe and be my friend?!?

:)

[thedailysoph]

International Long Distance Relationships: Why Is the Process So Hard?

I sit here on my new queen sized bed, inhaling what has to be my third donut, and I think about how much I miss my fiancé. It's exactly 24 hours since I left Ross at JFK after sharing a wonderful 1...

I wrote a new post on my Wordpress about international long distance relationships! Read and share if you’d like!! 

[thedailysoph]

hi there! i just read your post on long-distance relationships. i'm still reading it. anyways, do you have any advice on how it can really work out? one of these days, my girlfriend will go to the states (we're from the philippines). for work, and she'll eventually stay there. honestly, i fear that day. ours is a complicated relationship already. and being away from each other, i'm afraid honestly. any thoughts? words of wisdom? advice? thanks! hope to hear from you soon.

Go over to my long distance blog! There are a ton of asks under the "answered" link where I give advice! ldr-some.tumblr.com, if you don't find something helpful, let me know and I'll write you something more!

In short though, it works by keeping trust and communication. Making sure to SKYPE or video chat in anyway, because that's the closest you'll get to real life, as much as possible. Keep each other updated with your lives so that you don't feel disconnected. Send each other packages and love letters and keep the romance alive. And plan visits! Even if the visit isn't for 6 months, planning it feels amazing!

[thedailysoph]

Write about … (if you can relate to it) dealing with the uncertainty of knowing exactly what you want to do in the future while everyone else around you knows and can take concrete steps forward. Write about the coolest pets to have and why. Hm.. movie and book recommendations/reviews!!! Write about the dreams you have while sleeping and what you think they mean.

Okay!! I'll think about each of these and see what I can come up with, thanks! :)

[thedailysoph]

Give me ideas to write about!!

[thedailysoph]

Long Distance Relationships: Also Known As, "Wait, you haven't met in person yet?"

I've been in a long distance relationship for over two and a half years and I still get the same reactions from people, despite my boyfriend and I having spent months together in person over the course of our 7 visits to each other so far: "Have you met him yet? You can't know someone till you meet them!" "Wait you met online? Do you know what he looks like?" "He lives in ENGLAND? Is this actually serious then?"

Despite everyone being supportive, this is still ultimately what I hear at most of my Big Fat Greek family get togethers. 

I've seen "Catfish", you've seen "Catfish", and clearly not every online relationship turns out like the plot in "You've Got Mail." That being said, I wish the older generations had more faith in us younger kids. We ARE the generation who deals with the online community and thus we are smarter about who we talk to. Of COURSE I saw my boyfriend on Skype before I accepted his asking me to be his girlfriend. I know some people don't video chat (and please, if you are one of those people: VIDEO CHAT NOW, you have to always be safe), but the majority of us do because we know that there are creeps out there. So yes I know what he looks like, yes we met online but YES that DOES mean I "know" him. 

Okay. Okay. OKAY. I understand that there is something different about meeting a person face to face, touching them, spending late nights in bed together doing nothing but talking until the sun comes up, ending the night, or morning, with a beautiful kiss. I get it.

But it is an absolute waste of your breath to tell me I did not know my boyfriend before I physically met him. Spending over 6 hours on video chat EVERY SINGLE DAY is the exact reason I DID know him so well before we "met." For 6 hours every day we sat at our computers just so we could see and talk to one another. We spoke about his family, my family, our childhoods, what his dream career is, what I think mine is. We cooked food together, we played Pictionary, I spoke to his mom multiple times and sat on video chat talking with his best friend and brother while he went to cook food. We stayed up late on the phone talking about what we wanted our futures to be like, including what our future would look like. I sent him a package for Christmas and he cried on Skype because I knew exactly what to get him, which he still says no one else ever does, because I knew him so well. When he would get frustrated over his video editing I knew exactly how to calm him down. When I was crying because my birthday ended up sucking, he knew how to stop the tears. ALL we had the opportunity to do together was talk. Being in two different countries meant we only got to talk. As a result, we developed such a deep understanding of one another. When all you have is video chat, and yet this person still wants to spend time with you rather than someone they can actually hold, you know you've found something real. Being together meant we finally met a person who understood us. Who made us feel happy, and special. Who really made us laugh, and I mean really laugh. Someone who wanted to be there for the other even if it meant staying up till 3am because of a stupid time difference. Being 3,000 + miles apart didn't mean we were going to stop feeling what was inevitable.

This was all before we "met." 

It wasn't until 8 months into our relationship and a year into being in each others lives that we were able to stand right in front of each other. But don't you dare for a second believe it took us meeting in that airport to "know" who the other was.

If you're in a long distance relationship like I am then I'm sure you understand what I mean. And for those of you reading this who may not understand why people date online, wait 3 years to meet, and spend hours upon hours on their computer to speak to their love, I hope this helps you a little more in stopping your judgements. 

Love is love and it's "real" no matter if you're able to hold hands or not.

-Soph (of the tumblr blog "ldr-some")

[thedailysoph]

Why Do We Love to Watch Romantic Films?

Before I begin, let me just make it clear that this post will probably end up being a little pessimistic. Can you handle that?

Good. Let’s continue.

Why do we love to watch romantic films? Why do we like to watch films where our protagonist goes through a terrible heartbreak but then meets the love of her life randomly after jumping into a cab that he got into at the same time? I’m a romantic comedy lover like the rest of you and I understand it’s fun to watch true love form itself, to see a man who likes to be romantic and loyal, to see love randomly happen when it was needed most to two best friends. Trust me, I’ve seen You’ve Got Mailand When Harry Met Sally more times than you can imagine. (Thank you Meg Ryan.) But is it really realistic and healthy to watch films that don’t portray life accurately, that give us false expectations and hope? I love these films but people usually don’t fall in love with their best friend and actually have it work out. No one in real life falls in love with a mermaid and then goes and lives with her under the sea, as romantic as that sounds (thank you, Splash). These things don’t happen and I have just recently realized how depressing they can actually be if we think of them realistically and not as entertainment. Which I know is the worst thing to do when you’re watching a film, to take it seriously, but just bear with me for this one argument. 

I watch these films and I find them so engaging and romantic but when I think about how none of this happens in real life, it’s sad. It is really sad. It’s lovely to watch a woman listen to a man on the radio and fall in love with him and his story, but the fact that this even happens and then that they both end up on top of the Empire State Building on Valentine’s Day because of his son who on his own agreed to this meeting without his dad’s permission, just doesn’t happen in real life! Sleepless in Seattle, come on! You’re killing me here, Meg Ryan.

I don’t want to take the romance and fun out of these films by saying this, because they are great to watch. But these things don’t just happen in real life. It’s not healthy for little girls to watch these films and when they grow up dismiss every person who isn’t their idea of Prince Charming, or Princess. Prince Charming doesn’t exist. 

Okay, okay. I’m going to backtrack here. Prince Charming can exist. I have personally found mine. But we need to at least make these stories more realistic. We need to show that while Prince Charming can exist, he isn’t romantic 24/7. He won’t always show up at your window blasting a boom box. He won’t always say the right thing and get you the right present. He won’t always be 100% perfect, but he will be perfect for you, and that’s the difference. I just wish more films showed the reality of the situation and the truth, instead of making romance stories that are just delusional and unrealistic. 

We need more Annie Hall and (500) Days of Summer type films out there too, to show that relationships don’t always work out. Because they don’t. Sometimes people fall madly in love but things don’t work out between them. And that’s okay. Because that’s life. We should show more of that.

I just want to end this pessimistic post by saying that I myself, despite all of this, have actually found love in an unconventional way. He still has faults, as do I, but what’s important is that we realize that and accept that having faults is okay, and that not everyone has to be perfect like on the big screen.

And to also say that we have had multiple Meg Ryan film sessions ourselves. No matter what, romantic films will always be entertaining. Thank you, Meg Ryan.

  -Soph

*This is an article I actually wrote on my Word Press blog first!

[thedailysoph]

Screenplay writing is hard.

[thedailysoph]

I'm taking a reporting class and I have to do a profile on someone.

Time to listen to the interview and do this!

[thedailysoph]

I totally resonate with your post on privacy!! My mom has been asking me for years "You don't need to shut your computer away like that," and always says it with a tone of voice that implies I'm doing something bad, but I'm not I just like privacy I don't need her to see my Tumblr and whatnot, I'm just a more private person. I've always been this way, even about singing when I was a kid, I'd stop when she came into the room.

Oh gosh, exactly! I know that tone all too well. We shouldn’t have to justify why we need/want our privacy. It should just be allowed! 

[thedailysoph]

I really appreciate that post about LDRs. My boyfriend lives in England and it's just so expensive. I understand your struggles. It's been 2 years of waiting and we'll finally be allowed to meet. Because he'll be 18. Good luck with everything!

It is SO expensive, isn’t it? And I understand yours! That’s so exciting, have the best first meeting! Thank you and good luck to you too! Check out my ldr blog if you’d like since you’re in one! ldr-some.tumblr.com :)

[thedailysoph]

I just wanted to say your blog is super inspiring and it comforts me to be hearing about someone else's ldr. My bf also lives in England and we get judged constantly. Plus it's so true how older people don't understand the internet and that sometimes things do work out! They forbid me from talking to him, yet I keep doing it. Kinda like a Romeo and Juliet thing, though hopefully with a better ending.

Thank you so much that’s so nice! Yeah sometimes people just don’t understand and it makes it difficult and it brings us down but we can’t let it! We know how we feel and we know what’s real and that’s all that matters! Of course it will have a better ending! It may take a bit of time but it will be. Hang in there!

Hey, you should also check out my ldr blog if you’re interested! Ldr-some.tumblr.com

[thedailysoph]

Just wanted to say thank you. Your post about your LDR and others judgements was spot on. I'm in the same situation and I couldn't of described it better myself. Wishing you all the best. xx

Thank you for sending this, it means a lot! I'm so happy we can all relate to each other, it feels really nice. Best of luck to you too! And hey, if you're interested I actually have a LDR blog ;) Ldr-some.tumblr.com

[thedailysoph]

I was just reading your Long Distance Relationships: Also Known As, "Wait, you haven't met in person yet?" and was like WOAH. My boyfriends from England (PA here) and weve been together 2 and half years and havent met! I just read that thinking you wrote about me hahaha

Hahah no not completely :) But I guess it does sort of pose as a piece for everyone in ldrs huh? I hope you can meet him soon! 

[thedailysoph]

Why Is It So Wrong to Want Privacy?

On a few occasions my mother has asked to see my phone and I've told her no. I'm not hiding nude photos, I'm not secretly plotting something bad to do, but my phone is like my diary in a way. It has text messages that I want to save for only myself to see. It has photos of my boyfriend and I that I don't feel anyone else needs to view. No, they're not x-rated photos, but they're special photos just for us. I don't need her going to the browser and questioning the websites I go to. Again, not that they're bad, but sometimes parents don't know what Tumblr is and I don't need her asking me 50 questions. 

It frustrates me that I have to always justify why I have a passcode on my phone. "What are you hiding?!" "What are you doing?!" I'm not hiding anything and I'm not doing anything either but it's my phone and isn't that enough of a reason? Can't it just be for me only? Why do I have to explain myself?

A woman who was helping me fix my iPad at the counter at Best Buy asked me to type in my passcode so she could get inside it. I held it up to my chest and typed in the password secretly so no one else could see, and my mom asked me why I had to hide it and then the woman asked me too. My mom kept speaking about the fact that I shouldn't be hiding anything and asking what I had to hide that I needed a password, and the woman was saying how my mom should know my password and that I shouldn't hide anything from my mom. That because she's my mother she should know everything and I was wrong for trying to hide anything.

This baffles me. Because she's my mom she should know everything? Because she's my mom I don't deserve privacy?

If you want to tell your mom everything, go ahead. I know some people have that relationship with their parent. Great for them! But just because she's my mother does not mean I shouldn't be able to have things to myself. I shouldn't have to justify why I want to keep some things private. I shouldn't have to justify why I have a password to MY phone. If I want a password I can have a password. It's nobody else's business. 

Just because there's no real reason to keep my phone private, just because there's no real big thing I'm hiding, doesn't mean I don't deserve privacy. Doesn't mean I don't deserve to keep some things to myself.

Everyone deserves to have something that's theirs and no one else's, if that's what they choose. Everyone deserves a little privacy.

-Soph

[thedailysoph]

I have a MacBook now and I live in NYC and essentially this blog is my way to be Carrie Bradshaw.

[thedailysoph]

Binge-watching vs. Waiting a Week

When a show comes around that causes you to drop everything anytime it's on the TV, cancel plans to watch it, because missing what happens to D and S after they broke up last week and having to avoid social media so nothing gets spoiled is too much for you to handle, you know you're obsessed. And with this addiction to a television show comes the need to see every episode as soon as possible. 

Unfortunately, you have to wait a week for a new episode. (When the show is television, not internet based, that is.)

This is where Netflix becomes awesome. Netflix comes with the ability to watch every episode of a show in it's entirety (or per season) as fast as you want. The shows they produce get filmed, edited, completely finished, and then the whole season gets put on Netflix for you to enjoy. 13 episodes right there for you to watch throughout the day if that's what you wanted. No waiting a week. No anticipating what might happen. You can finish it all over the weekend while still in your pajamas never having left the bed once. (If that's what you desire.)

Here's where my question comes in, which is why I'm writing this post in the first place. Is Netflix better? Is not having to wait a week actually better? Do we lose the excitement for a show that waiting a week brings us? Does a show lose a fan base quicker if its audience watches all of its episodes right away and then forgets about it until months and months pass and the new season starts? By waiting a week we really get involved in a show, spending the next week wondering why D wanted to break up with S. Maybe D cheated with that girl from last weeks episode? Maybe S was caught cheating?! Oh no, the drama! Let's go get coffee and discuss it!

With the wait comes anticipation, questions, arguably a lot more interest in a show that watching all the episodes in 10 hours wouldn't necessarily bring. 

On the other hand, when you're addicted to a show how could you not love the ability to watch every episode one after another so you could find out everything that happens right away? There's easily pros and cons to both sides. 

Even though I'll probably completely disregard my own blog post because I watched "Orange is the New Black" in less than a week (in my pajamas nonetheless) thanks to Netflix, I still believe there's something wonderful about the excitement waiting a week brings. 

So, what do you all prefer? 

-Soph