you&#x27;re just like your father

—Why can’t you two just get along?

Dani, we’ve all got shit we’d prefer not see the light of day, and we’ve all got reasons why.

Why can't you accept the fact that I'll never like her?

What, was 'now hiring a hybrid stripper/escort/prostitute' the only thing in the wanted section of the newspaper? I mean, if she loves it, good for her. Own it, I don't care. But she walks around acting like she's the best thing to ever grace the Earth, acting like she doesn't get paid to have creepy men fuck her. It pisses me off.

No, but is the fact that you love me the reason you’re doing sneaky background checks on my other friends?

I love you regardless, you know that. I'm not doing background checks on your other friends. I'm doing a background check on someone who seems hellbent on pissing me off. If she didn't want anyone finding out about the fact that she's this hybrid escort/stripper/prostitute, then maybe she shouldn't have become a hybrid escort/stripper/prostitute.

bloodyhellgranger

#*#**

Didn’t need to kneel, but sure.

Have I told you I loved you today?

I’m assuming that translates to baking hash brownies and putting on Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.

Hold on, lemme get down on one knee. Alright, there. Jason Parrish, will you bake hash brownies and watch Gentlemen Prefer Blondes with me?

Is that the trade-off for having everything? We get bored of it all really fast?

I'm afraid it's the price we have to pay. Luckily, we can pay it. We just have to choose between debit, credit, or cash. I kind of want to watch a movie though. Something with Marilyn Monroe in it. Or bake something. Or get really high.

—When did we get so boring?

#ooc: when he wat #ooc: also pls ignore the text thank u #c #c: jason

Maybe... maybe it was when we finished doing everything that there was to do.

Is this your way of telling me you’re going celibate?

Are you drunk? High? I will never be celibate, Ava. Don't be silly.

Drinking and napping — wow, our lives really have come a long way. For all the money and time we have, don’t we have anything else to do?

Well, there's always buying a male hooker for a couple hours. There's... going to an expensive restaurant and ordering everything on the menu, seeing a show, walking around outside and making the paparazzi go crazy, I don't know.

The blonde or the brunette? Because I’m not going to lie, I think they’re both pretty cute. The brunette especially, his arms are… unf!

Please, Ava. I thought you knew me better than that. I'm done with blondes. And with arms like that, the other guy has no chance. Just... zero chance.

Your yogi is faux French and wears bike pants three sizes too small, is it any wonder I’m not really feeling the inner peace right now?

Hush. I'll tell him to leave, then. Him and his bike pants. Rigby barked at him when he came in, I should've known he wasn't a match for us. What do you want to do instead? Drink? Nap?

Thanks, I haven’t seen him in ages. He wouldn’t listen to me anyway, the guy never does. Oh, the place a few blocks away? Yeah that’ll be great, at least I can perv over the baked goods.

Neither have I, I've been on set for three millenia. Uh, yeah! That one. With the cute cashier. I can perv on him silently while you perv over the baked goods.

Not really sure if this zen and inner peace thing is working for me right now.

Give it a try. I didn't hire a yogi so you could whine.

You need to speak that best friend of yours, get some people fired.

I'll put that guy on the list and give the list to Jay next time I see him, promise. You wanna skip Starbucks and go to that cool tiny place a ways down and get one of those almond croissant things you like?

elliot-robinson

I don’t have to break you to feel better about myself. Are we done here?

Right, you just get gross men to pay for your frail little body to make you feel better about yourself. Yes, we're done. Get out of my sight before your pale skin burns a disturbing image into my corneas.

#c #c: chloe

No, I don’t want your number. I’ll just have the coffee, please…

Aves, c'mon. There's another Starbucks a block down. Where the people aren't pervs.