The Dank Onion

I open Pandora's box and smoke, snort, pop, and drink whatever's inside.

[thedankonion-blog]

Update (9/23/11)

Hey readers! I know I've been quiet in the last few weeks. I've been super busy, but plan to post a mega weed review on Sunday morning. So I hope you're ready for a triple helping of blue dream, sour diesel, and watermelon haze. I also plan on doing a little article about hydrocodone and shrooms that'll be published sometime on Monday or Tuesday.

Happy trippin, tokin, shootin, snortin, n poppin!

[thedankonion-blog]

Blueberry [cannabis]

Blueberry is a legend. I happened to be lucky enough to pick up a legit-ish strain of this stuff, and it was worth every penny. It’s definitely as good as joinTogether claims it is.

Blueberry (aka berry-berry) gets its name from its fruity taste and smell. If it’s the real deal, you should smell a hint of blueberries. An indica dominant (80%/20%) hybrid, blueberry is of conflicted origin, but Afghan is cited often as an ancestor. These light green with a blue hue buds are light, fluffy, and covered in blue, purple, or orange hairs. This strain will help you mellow out and relieve any physical pain or anxiety.

I’m a big fan of blueberry but I haven’t gotten much of an opportunity to appreciate it. Here’s what I thought of it:

The Smell: Fruity-tooty with a little blueberry. It’s got a curiously faint but pronounced scent.

The Buds: Small and fluffy, but not brittle. These buds are light green with a soft blue hue and covered in orange hairs. They sure are pretty!

The Smoke: Very smooth with a taste that reminds me of the smell. This stuff is a great choice for big bowls and beginners as it’s really easy to smoke.

The High: Blueberry is very much a creeper with little warning signs before the initial high sets in. This grass will easily glue you to your television, computer, or choice of gaming system. I’m on an extra level of relaxation and peacefulness of mind. It’s not uncommon to start spacing out, so be sure that you enjoy blueberry before bed or on a quiet evening. Have something handy to drink as well as I got a pretty major case of cottonmouth.

Overall: Exactly what the doctor ordered! I’m in love with how smooth this goes down. At 15 dollars a gram in some places this is something you’ll want to look out for. I never met a cannabis bud I didn’t like and blueberry keeps that tradition.

Happy toking!

Updated 9/11/2011

[thedankonion-blog]

Mean Green Martian [cannabis]

I’m being adventurous and trying another strain I’ve never had, but have heard of. MGM was a nice surprise. It basically knocked me into fantasy land right away.

Mean green Martian (aka MGM, Martian mean green) is a sativa dominant hybrid (60%/40%) that comes from a pairing of sharksbreath and G-13 haze.  It’s known for its pain relief and anti-inflammatory benefits, but MGM doesn’t scream “couch lock.” MGMs buds are usually sage colored with a light and fluffy texture. It should be noted that there aren’t a lot of orange or brown hairs on MGM.

MGM is a little different than any strain I’ve had before. Check it out:

The Bud: A light green or sage color with sparse little orange hairs. These buds are very light, little, and fluffy. Great for storage!

The Smell: Super fruity and potent. It’s almost like a classic haze smell.

The Smoke: MGM doesn’t win the award for best tasting weed, but by no means is it bad. It goes down smooth at first, but expect a little kick at the end that increases in intensity as the bowl dwindles. This smoke doesn’t make too heavy of a smell.

The High: This is the most unique attribute of MGM. It’s very calming and euphoric, but it doesn’t give you the couch lock one would expect. There was a dreamy quality to my high that I really enjoyed as well. I had the opportunity to test this out with some friends and it really got us chatting and gaming. I’ve heard that MGM isn’t a great sleep aid, but I’m going to respectfully disagree as I took a pretty killer nap as my high started to mellow out.

Overall: This strain is really fun and refreshing. If you’re looking for something a little off the beaten path then I’d really recommend this. Medically speaking, this strain really does its job. Those lucky enough to live in a place with legal medical cannabis should go pick this up from their local dispensary ASAP. This is without question some A++ quality.

Happy toking!

[thedankonion-blog]

Wonder Woman [cannabis]

This week I decided to pick up a strain I’d never heard of before: wonder woman. It’s definitely unique. Because I received it in compressed form, I’ve uploaded a picture of what the buds should look like for your education.

If joinTogether and random dispensary articles online are to be believed, wonder woman (aka wonder woman OG) is a hybrid strain that’s indicia dominant (60% indicia, 40% sativa) and entirely female. It’s rumored to originate from a cross between ice and top 44. It’s known for its heavy stone and usefulness in relieving pain, anxiety, and insomnia.

This stuff is a solid B+ grade strain that’ll knock your average toker out pretty quick. To the breakdown:

The Bud: I received this in compressed bud form (pictured above), but I could tell that this stuff would be pretty dense and sticky buds. It looks a lot like diesel: a dark green covered in brown hairs.

The Smell: A strong fruity diesel aroma that’ll punch you right in the nose. Keep this stuff in a jar or a couple plastic bags for maximum stealth.

The Smoke: Smooth at first, but the bottom of the bowl could hint kinda harsh. It tastes a little hashy to me. The smoke has a potent smell.

The High: Two words: couch lock. This stuff makes a great before-bed bowl. It’s euphoric and a little trippy as well. I definitely feel like I’m flying high. Not munchies inducing unless you start snacking. I wouldn’t put this in the smoke and go category unless you’re a pretty big toker like yours truly. It lasts quite a while: at least three to four hours or longer for inexperienced types.

Overall: At the price I paid for it, it’s a killer value. It’s not the dankest of the dank, but it got me happy for quite a bit. I’d recommend this to anyone, and would especially recommend it for inexperienced and moderate smokers. I’m not sure of its availability, so keep an eye out for it.

Happy toking ya’ll!

[thedankonion-blog]

Green Crack [cannabis]

Yee ha! My first review. I've got a lot of experience with Mary Jane, so green crack is old territory for me. This particular green crack (randomly acquired as well) is probably the truest green crack I've ever smoked. I even got a heavy bag! Haha!

Green crack (aka GC) is a medical-grade hybrid that's sativa dominant (90% sativa) and on the high end when it comes to its THC potency (15-20%). GC hails from a cross between super skunk and purple kush (supposedly). It's generally known for giving a euphoric and energetic head high. GC is also identifiable by its distinct and strong fruity aroma that's got just a titch of skunk to it.

Green crack is one of my personal favorites. Here's how the smoke sesh went down:

The Bud Very dense. It gave my grinder a hard time. Light green with a lot of orange hairs. It sure looks like green crack.

The Smell A strong fruity smell with a hint of skunk. I want to live in the bag it came in.

The Smoke Very smooth. It's got that authentic weed taste with a dab of fruitiness. This stuff is great for putting in huge bowls with how smooth it goes down. The stank is on the heavy side though, so make sure you've got proper ventilation or that your neighbors don't care.

The High GC has a very unique head high. It'll get you up and moving. It's a top pick for creative types and adventurers because of how anti-couch lock it is (I've gone snow boarding while flying high on this stuff and it's pretty rad). Prepare for the munchies (especially if you love food already). You'll be riding this GC train for about three to four hours. The come down is awfully mellowing (even for the ganja).

Overall These are some A class buds. Grab this strain when it's in your neck of the woods. (It's not too expensive either: $60 per eighth here in the state of 10,000 lakes.) If you live in a state with medical cannabis, you can probably pick this up from your local dispensary. :)

Happy toking!