Toya and Natsuo Todoroki - The hidden abusers
Before the reveal of Toya's backstory, fans assumed that Enji was the root cause of his family breaking apart. He was only shown in a negative light as Shoto implied that Enji forced Rei to marry him and he showed hitting his loved ones.
However, Shoto was the youngest. He didn't know what the family was like during the early days. Additionally, he didn't know his siblings at all and how they affected the family unit. Toya's backstory shows how much context Shoto was truly missing.
It showed that Enji was similar to Rei; someone having their mental health worn down by another person and lashing out as a result. Toya was the true root cause of Tododokis' downfall. While it's rare, children who abuse their parents is a real thing. It's no coincidence that Enji's and Rei's mental health began declining around the same time.
Before he began burning himself, his parents and sister were a happy union. Enji approached Rei to have a traditional arranged marriage.
She agreed to help her family. She wasn't forced into it and she knew everything from the start. They had a comfortable setup. Rei would be taken care of, with a large house and hired staff.
Despite the business-like founding of their relationship, they went on dates to genuinely bond with each other. Enji wanted to learn all the little things his wife liked.
Even if it didn't fit in his plans for a hero heir, Enji listened to Rei's desire for a second child, in order to give their firstborn a companion.
Despite having the former trauma of his father's death, Enji genuinely wanted to be a family man.
Enji didn't judge Toya and Fuyumi on their quirks. While they didn't have the exact hybrid quirk he hoped for, he said he was satisfied with his life. He was shown looking after his two children when he's sitting with a sleeping Fuyumi and gently stopping Toya from waking her.
. He began to do casual training with Toya, despite only having a fire quirk. Toya was shown to enjoy their time together and wanted to be a hero. Enji was ensuring his son a bright future, as the hero career is well-paid and highly respected. A father hoping his children will follow in his footsteps, is fairly normal. It's like a farmer training their young children, so they can inherit the farm once they're older.
In some ways, Enji was right to do his quirk marriage. All Might wouldn't be around forever. Most heroes slacked off and took Number 1 for granted. But Enji realized they couldn't give up on getting stronger - Otherwise, they'd be left vulnerable when All Might inevitably retired or died. Decades later, Hawks admitted Enji had been right all along.
Though Endeavour wasn’t delusional. He still knew the limits of his body. While he wouldn’t slack on improving his own hellflame, Endeavour always does the practical thing: He had to think outside the box and find an alternative route. He’d swallow his pride and entrust someone else to do what was necessary.
Enji secured one of the most powerful quirks ever seen - Half Cold Half Hot. It helped ensured Japan's future and thousands could be saved.
The children who couldn't fulfill this goal weren't ill-treated either. Enji never called them insulting names to their faces. He gave them the freedom to pursue whatever career they wanted. He ensured they were cared for, with a hired nanny and a large house to run around in. Not all parents can be the 'Hands on' type like Rei, some are better suited to being breadwinners.
When Toya began burning himself, Enji stopped the training because he was worried for his wellbeing. Toya refused to listen and took the warnings about his medical condition, as a personal attack.
He would begin lashing out at every one of his family members. He'd storm away from Fuyumi and say her opinions don't matter because she's a girl.
Enji couldn't even put his coat on, without Toya flailing his arms and shouting at him about training. Nobody could be in his presence, without getting stressed out.
Toya pushed Enji to have more children after Fuyumi. His father hoped to distract him, by giving him more siblings and giving the burden of being his heir to someone else. Toya hated his brothers for merely being born - Which is a very unusual trait for such a young child to have.
This implies that Touya was born, with a predisposition for violence and dangerous grudges. No matter which parents Toya was born to, anyone would be pushed to the brink with such a stressful child. This is shown with Enji, as there is a panel of him hunkered over his bed with his head in his hands.
Then Toya proved he was the worst one in the family at the age of 8. He used his fire quirk against his mother and baby brother, trying to kill them. Additionally, the rest of the family was nearby and they were almost caught in the crossfire. The only reason nobody was hurt, was because Enji saved everyone.
The only mistake Enji made that day, was wanting to protect his son and covering up for him. Toya got away with his murder attempt scot-free. Enji even hired a nanny for Toya. He was allowed interact with Rei, Natsuo and Fuyumi like nothing happened.
Shoto was the one who suffered, by needing to be isolated for his safety.
It should have been Toya who was isolated instead. Enji should've hauled him to the police station. Whether Toya is thrown into young offenders or a mental hospital, that's up to the court judges to decide.
Enji removed himself from Toya's life, as he didn't want to foul his obsession with him. Enji thought he could reply to Rei to keep their eldest safe since he's busy at work and she's the primary caregiver. However, Rei failed to do so and admitted she'd given up trying. It's understandable that a parent would lose their temper with the person who let their child continuously self-harm.
By this point, Toya is shown to abuse every member of his family. He's sexist towards Fuyumi and Rei, only referring to them as 'women' and saying they're too incompetent to help.
He borderline threatens his mother when she tries to talk sense into him. Then he gaslights her by making up exaggerated tales of her own marriage and claiming his own shortcomings are somehow her fault. Rei is utterly terrified of her thirteen-year-old son, unable to stand the sight of his eyes.
When she spotted Shoto before the kettle incident, she probably mistook him for Toya, not Enji. She remembered how he tried to kill her and she grabbed the kettle in self-defense.
When it comes to the boys in the family, Toya is no better.
Shoto had to be isolated to remain safe from Toya and his brother would give him death stares whenever they passed each other.
Then with Enji, Toya is constantly guilt-tripping him, by showing his burns to him and blaming him for everything. He lies that Enji called them failures and pushed Toya to attack Shoto, but he never did.
Enji is shown being pushed to his limit, by this attention-seeking abusive son. Toya guilt-trips him by showing off his burns and forcing Enji to beg him to stop for years on end. Enji is constantly stressed out, because his son refuses to stop hurting himself and everyone around him.
Toya is shown shouting at his father on multiple occasions. This post has already two examples with Enji putting on his coat and then Toya screaming “Look at me”. Even as a teenager, Toya would yell at him. He demanded that Enji feed into his god complex, needing a ‘grand purpose’ behind his birth and asking to be referred to as a ‘creation’. No father should be forced to go along with his son’s obvious delusions.
Finally, with Natsuo, Toya manipulates him by telling him false stories about their parents. This brainwashing affects Natsuo to this day, as he's repeating the same lies as a college student. Toya would tell his younger brother these lies, when he was asleep and unable to critically think. Natsuo is five years younger than Toya and he shouldn't be burdened with topics way out of his age range. Whenever Natsuo wanted a break from the stressful ramblings, Toya would guilt-trip him with accusations of abandonment.
If abusing his family wasn't enough, Toya was committing criminal acts. He would go outside his private property to train, which is illegal quirk usage. He did this for years on end. By this point, Toya was a teenager. He was definitely old enough to be prosecuted for this.
Then he recklessly destroyed an entire forest and endangered the nearby town. Countless amounts of people could've died in that forest fire, not just Toya.
Enji proved how much he cared for his son when he was horrified when he saw the blaze and rushed to save his son despite the risk. Enji put up a shrine in honor of his son and would prey on it, even decades later.
He started employing fire users at his agency, implying he had vague hopes of finding Toya, since his body wasn't found. He trained Shoto more harshly, so he'd have better control of his quirk and he wouldn't die like his brother. Enji only lashed out at Rei, because Toya's reckless actions made him lose himself. He didn't want Rei to stop him from teaching Shoto the necessary quirk safety.
Rei began spiralling as well due to Toya's recklessness. She became scared of her innocent children and snapped at Shoto due to it. She had to spend a decade in the hospital and Toya's actions worsened her state.
The aftermath of Enji's and Rei's grief, ruined the relationships of the Todoroki children as well. Shoto hated his father due to his unhealthy coping with Toya and couldn't visit his mother for a decade since his scar might trigger her again.
Natsuo and Fuyumi couldn't be allowed into Shoto's life, despite Toya's death. As Enji was still worried one of his jealous siblings might attack Shoto, especially since Natsuo had been brainwashed by Toya.
When Toya wakes up from his coma, his first instinct is to set an orphanage ablaze, leaving countless children to die.
Then, he trespasses in his old house, refusing to show himself to any loved ones. When he sees Enji training Shoto as normal, he expects his father to still be grieving for him years later. Without saying a word to Enji, Toya makes massive assumptions and fakes his death all over again.
When Natsuo became a college student, he was still repeating the words of his 13-year-old brother - Despite it being more than a decade and he should know better as an adult. Natsuo blindly followed Toya, saying that 'he'd been told everything' and spouting the falsities of Enji calling him a failure.
He's refusing to forgive Enji for multiple things he didn't do, such as Toya causing his own death. Natsuo is even admits he’s being judgemental in comparison to his siblings.
Natsuo begins shouting at Enji in the middle of a public street - Becoming verbally abusive. He questions why he needs to change. However, he ignoring that fact, he’s choosing to be apart of a family unit and members must be willing to make compromises for each other. If he can’t respect Fuyumi’s or Rei’s wishes to forgive Enji, then he shouldn’t be constantly hanging around his father.
When Enji is fighting the Nomu, Natsuo claims that Enji forgot about his family and he would run away from the villain. Both statements needed to be corrected by Rei and Fuyumi. He openly questions why his mother would defend him.
He baffled why his mother and sister would forgive his father 'so quickly'. He bitterly questions it in front of Fuyumi.
He ruins both of Fuyumi's dinners. He leaves in the middle of them and doesn’t finish Fuyumi’s lovingly prepared food. During the first dinner, he scares everyone by shouting at Enji unprovoked.
He almost reduces Fuyumi to tears and she has to get comfort from Shoto.
With the second dinner, he humiliates his family in front of guests, by purposefully jabbing at Enji.
If Natsuo can't handle his father's presence, then he shouldn't be there. He shouldn't ruin it for others. He’s sabotaging the rest of his family’s relationships. If he can’t be a team player, then he should at least allow others to do it. But he keeps on ruining and questioning Rei and Fuyumi’s road to reconciliation:
Even when Enji is in a hospital bed, at his lowest point mentally and physically - That's not enough for Natsuo to show any restraint. He insults his father for crying over his deceased son turned killer.
Every Todoroki was confessing their part in creating Toya, desides from Shoto who was too young at the time. Natsuo undermines everyone’s efforts to unit, by blaming it all on Enji.
Then he hypocritically admits his own fault a few seconds later, saying he should've talked sense into Toya.
It’s only when Natsuo glances at all his family, he realises he’s being inappropriate. After that, does he finally feel guilty and silences himself.
Blaming Enji for everything has no logical backing. Enji didn't know Toya survived and he was a runaway on the streets, with countless other external factors pushing him into criminality. Additionally, Toya had burnt his head and was in a coma for 3 years - Who knows what brain damage could've happened and impaired his moral compass.
Since Enji hasn't laid his hands on Rei and Shoto in years - Natsuo no longer has reactionary abuse as an excuse. Especially since Enji has shown improvement time and time again. He visits Rei in the hospital, thanks Fuyumi and he promises to make Shoto proud. With Natsuo himself, Enji invited him to speak his mind, asks to taste his cooking, and says he accepts him not forgiving him.
When a spouse chooses to remain with their cheating partner but reminds them of their actions constantly - That's considered unnecessary punishment and they become the toxic ones. I think the same applies to blood relatives. Being abused in the past is not an excuse to abuse someone else in the present, even if it's an ex-abuser. We don't approve of crimes against ex-cons, so we shouldn't have double standards towards abuse. Otherwise, you're trying to torture them out of spiteful anger.
Natsuo is showing an emerging patten of physical violence toward Enji. If he’s carries on doing this, he’ll become the physical abuser.
When Enji casually places his hand on Natsuo’s shoulder, he slaps it away with needless force.
He slams his fist against the door, close to Enji’s head.
Then he aggressively shoves Enji back.
Natsuo has no right to scream, falsely accuse or raise his fist against Enji. The only abuser in those moments, was Natsuo. If he’s not careful, he might become the one, that the rest of the family needs to distance themselves from. If Natsuo keeps this up for too long, he'll need his own atonement..
