My oldest (eldest?) aunt passed away last week, but I’m struggling to process it. Not because I’m sad, but because she left me on READ a year ago when I felt it was time for some adult conversations.
My aunt lived in California and cared for my grandma up until a few months before she passed. My grandma suffered from strokes and had a pretty advanced form of dementia. My aunt left knowing that my grandma should’ve been admitted to hospice, and knowing that my dad was also on his last leg.
We became homeless and stayed (illegally) at my grandma’s assisted living home (my three bros + dad), and since I was attending an alternative school I helped out with both my grandma and dad at home. I was 12-13. I was changing diapers, prepping meds, doing feedings. She called me by name still, but only because I’m named after her mom so in her head I was mommy, I was e______.
My grandma passed Aug 15th, my dad Sep 8th.
Lots of shenanigans, my aunt never checked on us. Never talked to us personally. Told people I was a bitch. That I was bossy. Mind you, at the time this lady is like in her mid 60s. I was 14. Fourteen.
Anyways, I’ve been no-contact for a few years from all sides of “family” including adoptive. Complication being I was adopted by family. She chose to keep a relationship with them despite me telling on one of the members for sexual assault. Still nothing. She chose them over and over.
Last year she reached out to my brothers. It didn’t surprise me bc she was dying. She needed someone to absolve her. She wanted an easy apology. She wanted her repentance with someone who wouldn’t question her intent. My brothers, I love them, but they’re soft in these instances. I don’t fault them. I was forced to be a G LOL
Anyways, I sent her a message after I found out the guilt trip she put on them… left on read.
People suck, and people say they change but still suck.
All of this to say, CUT THEM OFF! If family is moving funny and blocking your growth, BYE. It is not your fault. You are not the bitch or the mean one.
