Flambae wanted to prank his teammates but only managed to get outsmarted by the janitor.
(Characters mentioned: Flambae, Waterboy, Invisigal, Malevola,and Sonar)——————————————————————
Flambae walked into the SDN break room with what seemed to be..joy?
“Good evening my favorite team!”
His weirdly content attitude was enough to catch the attention of Melavola, who was playing cards with Sonar. As their eyes shifted to Flambae they both noticed he was holding what seemed to be a cooler lined with foil on the inside.
“I visited family recently and since I feel so generous, I decided to share some of the food I made. You’re all free to try it, Unless you’re a little bitch like wetpantsboy over there” he said tilting his head toward Waterboy who was down the hall just cleaning a stain on the window.
Melavola raised a concerned eyebrow at Flambae trying to read his ulterior motives but all she saw was genuine eagerness to share with his coworkers. Weird. Sonar on the other hand was jumping for joy.
“Fuck yes I will! free food! Give it here!”
Flambae’s friendly smile quickly shifted to something sinister as he handed Sonar what seemed to be a burger. Sonar began examining it almost as if it was some peculiar alien artifact.
“What? Too pussy to eat a simple hamburger? Man you really are like waterbitch.”
Sonar glared at Flambae, eyes turning a bright red color as he stared right at that toothless grin of his.
“Bet. I’m no fucking pussy. It’s just a burger, how bad can it be?”
As Sonar took a huge bite he instantly realized why Flambae was so driven to sharing with them. This hamburger was hell itself. He felt his tongue scream at him with pure agony and hatred for something that was his organ.
Sonar squeezed the burger tightly as he stared at it with betrayal.
“What- the fuck? The fuck is- the fuck is this?”
“Oh just my world famous Chilly Crunch Burgers~ I even added a hint of ghost peppers to add more flavor. why? You no likey? Was the buwger too spicy fow you??”
“Fuck you man..” said sonar as he stared at Flambae face with red and tearful eyes that were contemplating killing him right here now, but due to Sonar being on his last strike he only got to throw the devil burger at the wall as he stormed out cursing Flambae under his breath the whole way as Melavola chased after him also cursing under her breath, except it was because Flambae interrupted her winning streak.
Flambae stood there all by himself laughing to himself as he closed the cooler once more getting ready to put the rest of the team to the test. Just as he was heading out of the break room he heard a voice coming from the corner of the room, as he turned he noticed Invisigal leaning against the wall with one foot against it.
“The burger possibly couldn’t have been that spicy. I’ve seen you attempt to make spicy ramen, you nearly burnt the whole office and you even managed to burn the sauce pocket into a crisp!”
Flambae slowly turned his whole body to face her, he felt wave of anger wash over him at her ability to only see and remember terrible things about anyone, but that anger quickly turned to malice.
“Oh really? You think my cooking hasn’t progressed since I don’t know…3 years? Still think I cook burnt, unseasoned shit?”
“Oh I don’t think that. I know that.”
Flambae was on cloud nine just thinking about seeing her eat her words, or at least see her eating something else..
“Fine, I bet 50$ you can’t eat this entire burger.”
Invisigal quickly straightened her stance at the mention of betting money.
“Holy shit dude, you’re seriously paying me money to eat your shitty cooking? Is that why you have a whole cooler of it, because no one in your family would eat it? That’s sad!”
Flambae had to take a deep breath to calm himself down before he took the burger and burned it to a crisp and then shove it down her throat.
“Yes..very sad. So, you taking the challenge? Or are walking away with nothing but regret?”
Invisigal then disappeared and as Flambae began to doubt she was actually brave enough she then appeared 5 seconds later right in front of him.
“You bet your sweet fiery ass I am, gimme that shit! Can I atleast flavor it first with some sriracha?”
“Yes..do all the sriracha you like..”
Invisigal shrugged his weird attitude off as Flambae looked at her with euphoria as she took the burger off his hands and continued to walk over to the fridge to grab the sauce.
As she squeezed a large amount inside she kept taking quick glances at Flambae who was grinning like a child on Christmas.
Flambae was practically full of pride seeing Invisigal pretend to handle his already spicy burger and then continue to glaze it with sriracha. Oh how he wished he could take a photo.
“C’mon Visi.” She thought to herself. “he’s just trying to scare you. We both know he’s horrible at cooking.”
As she took a bite she then realized why Sonar left almost pissing himself. His spice tolerance was absolute shit, but so was hers and she just made it worse. It didn’t matter now, she was in way too deep. So, she swallowed her dignity and forced herself to eat this satan burger and try and fake it till she made it.
“WHOO! WHOAH! Flambae! This is..NICE! Man I so wish..I just wish the team knew..just how..how nice this food is! Right!?!”
Flambae was on the brink of just exploding with joy, oh how he wished he was recording this!
“Just admit it Visi. You were wrong, you are a pussy and you owe me 50 bucks”
Inivisigal would rather lick flaming hot coal then admit she can’t handle spicy food. she persevered even if it hurt her, so she impulsively yelled the first thing that came to mind.
“Never, it’s not..even spicy!! Matter a fact..Make it 100!!”
Flambae’s eyes nearly popped out of place as his smile only grew wider.
“Oh Visi! You masochist! You bet your persistent ass I will!”
Invisigal felt deep regret at her impulsive comment but atleast now she had a better motivation to remind her not to fuck it up. She took a large bite out of her burger as she banged her fist against the table trying to distract herself from the agony she was feeling in her mouth and unluckily for her, Flambae noticed. He walked to the fridge and took out a cup of water and ice and pushed it next to her.
“Here, this is a glass of water. If you feel like quitting here is a cup of cold, refreshing, cooling water.”
Invisigal’s eye twitched as she stared at the glass of water in front of her, this was the most expensive glass of water she’s ever been handed, but she wasn’t planning on giving up. She continued banging at the table and force herself to take another bite.
The commotion in the break room was enough to summon Waterboy. He popped his head through the doorway and looked around for answers but all he saw was Invisigal banging on the table and what seemed to be an overly seasoned burger.
“Oh uh- hey guys..What? What are we doing?”
Flambae felt as if he just hit the lottery. The perfect victim was right here, right now exactly where Flambae wanted him.
“Oh soggypants! Just the man I was thinking about! I would love to repay all the work you’ve done for me. I always see you just..cleaning and…scrubbing! Here, I brought you this.”
As Flambae handed him the wrapped burger he could tell something was off. Or Someone.
“Invisigal. Are you o-Kay? You don’t look good- you look ba- you look off.”
Invisigal was practically burning to a crisp by the second. She could feel tears running down her face as she fought with herself to not to lick them.
“Who me? Nah, just…chilling…”
Flambae began to chuckle at her horrible attempt to act cool in front of waterboy.
“Nope, never was and never will be.”
Waterboy studied everyone’s files when he had spare time as to have something to talk about with them and to be liked by them, and he knew that Invisigal was definitely allergic. Deadly actually.
“Okay…whatever you…whatever you say..”
Flambae leaned over and whispered “lies” into waterboy’s ear before tapping the burger on his palms.
“Oh jeez, where are my…manners? Flambae! Thank you..I didn’t know..we were doing…gifts, So So So sorry!”
“Don’t worry my friend, just seeing your face as you enjoy it is enough for me..”
Waterboy loved the sound of actually not owing Flambae anything beside his enjoyment of flambae’s food. He didn’t really know where he would acquire his dream item, or how. I mean who in their right mind would want a trip to a volcano vacation?
As waterboy unwrapped the burger he noticed Flambae began filming him and Invisigal was just staring at him intensely like something was about to happen, he then quickly felt that familiar knot in his stomach.
“Oh this, I just want to see your reaction. I did say that’s all I wanted to be in repaid in, no?”
Waterboy felt guilty for judging Flambae so soon, maybe he genuinely wanted to give him thanks and he was just assuming he was only doing it to be a jerk.
As waterboy bit into the burger he heard Flambae give him a warning as Invisigal looked at him pity full.
“Careful man, it might be spicy…”
Waterboy immediately was hit was a severe spice that made all his worries disappear just for a moment, until it just got weaker.
“Huh, this is really good!” He said in between bites. “Could use more spice but you really outdid yourself!”
Flambae dropped his phone as he stared at waterboy aghast, his mind quickly racing. How did he eat it with no hassle?? Is he okay?? Did he happen to make an unspicy alternative on accident???
Invisigal was so thunderstruck she completely forgot to be in pain for a moment.
“H..How? HOW? HOW THE FUCK?!?! HOW DID IT NOT BURN? YOU SON OF A BITCH, YOURE LYING!!”
Waterboy felt as if he’d done something wrong and accidentally offended the both of them, he quickly lost what little confidence he had at the moment.
“I- I didn’t- was it…was it supposed to burn??”
“No duh dude! I made these ones extra spicy for you guys since I love fucking with you guys! Sonar are one and almost died! Visi also ate one and even double spiced it and is dying as we speak! How did you not care?!?”
Waterboy felt betrayal hearing that this gift was indeed a prank in disguise, but it made him feel better that he wasn’t the only one getting pranked, and way better since he was the only one that was able to handle it.
“Oh! I have water powers! It waters food down by A LOT!! That’s why I season my food triple. My grandma always said I was-“
Waterboy was cut off by Flambae placing his finger over his lip as he rubbed his forehead.
“I don’t care, you ruined it, You ruined the prank. You win.”
Flambae handed Invisigal the cup of water, calling off the deal as he closed his cooler and headed off to take it back to his car.
Invisigal clutched the cup as he chugged every last drop of it, having that pain lifted was like seeing heaven for the first time, it almost made her pray. She handed waterboy her burger as she headed out to go annoy whoever was in a 5 mile radius to try and ignore her loss to the janitor.
Waterboy walked away walking on sunshine as he thought about how he finally beat the team at something, He won. he actually won, and he managed to get more food.
He was definitely telling his grandmother about this.
(AN: I almost gave up on this but decided to stop procrastinating and just finish it. Please tell me if there’s any mistakes, I am taking suggestions/ criticism.)
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