🌼DEJA🌼

.22.

[happymagazinenut-deactivated202]

why is "you have daddy issues" used to insult girls when it's men who failed as fathers

[next-door-emo-boy]

The first 5 seconds when you wake up are the best before you realize how shitty your life is

[theeclecticstudentdreamer]

God I love sleeping, I look forward to sleeping everyday. I feel so happy when I start to finally get sleepy.

[safety-net-did]

The thing I just reblogged, and something I've seen a lot, says that folk who suffered parentification as childred are very emotionally mature.

I disagree.

Parentification made me very adept at noticing and reacting to other people's emotions.

Which is an important aspect of emotional maturity, but FAR from the whole picture.

Parentification also taught me to ignore and suppress my own emotions and responses to them.

Parentification prevented me from learning how to feel my emotions, how to name them, how to respond effectively to them.

Parentification taught me to be reactive to others emotions, to take them on as my own burden. It taught me to believe my interpretation of events over what others say about their feelings.

Parentification prevented me from becoming emotionally mature.

At my core parentification left me still a young child, unable to face anger and other volitle emotions with anything other than placation(in others) and self-loathing(in myself).

KEY parts of emotional maturity are knowing yourself and knowing when you need to respond to others.

Parentification prevents that learning.

In order to heal from parentification one has to develop emotional maturity. Has to unlearn enmeshment, has to self-parent appropriate responses to emotions, both others' and ones own.

Parentification stunted my development.

I became emotionally aware and mature in spite of it, not because of it.

[dailiadelc]

[solsticeamaris]

everyone supports people with ptsd until it's "inconvenient," they have severe mental breakdowns in public, it causes them to sleep a lot, they're not a military veteran, they're under 18, they cope through drugs, self-harm, and/or disordered eating, they struggle with disassociative amnesia, they pass on socializing at larger events, they seek compassion and attention, they dislike law enforcement, they assume the worst of everyone they meet, and when their trauma perpetrator is upper-class/walking free/in the family.. the list goes on and motherfucking on, it never ends

[pindanda]

[theeclecticstudentdreamer]

Genuine question

[ray-of-melancholy]

Its "mental health matters" until someone has a trauma response that's not disordered in a way you like to romanticize

-🕊

[lyskari]

Apologies can be hard. Hopefully the Hippo of Apology can help.

I've posted this in a server with my friends, but I realise that this is something that I'd like to share to the world as I believe it could potentially help others who struggled like I did.

Like many, I suspect, I have difficulty with saying "I'm sorry". As a child I was often forced to say it even when I wasn't sorry or didn't understand why I should potentially be sorry. There were even times I was asked to apologise to keep the peace. Out of anxiety, I would often apologise.

I've learned some small, non-verbal ways to communicate my regret to my spouse, but for online friends I still struggled. Even worse? I often felt like sorry wasn't enough. It felt empty, just like it did growing up. I always felt as if it should feel... I don't know... different. (Not necessarily good, just different.)

But I wasn't sure how.

Until I realised something.

My desire to apologise takes the form of me giving you something. A piece of food. A stuffed animal. I've almost done it with a candle, even, and I did it just this morning with a friend using a hippo emoji. When I first started, it was with my husband, and I utilised my favourite stuffed hippo. Which is where "Hippo of Apology" came from!

For some reason, this random ass object within my reach becomes the holder of all of my regret and my apologies which makes it possible for me to PHYSICALLY HAND IT OVER... which properly connected in my brain as an apology that I could get behind.

Not only do I feel like I've adequately expressed just how much I am truly sorry, but it often helps break tensions in uncomfortable situations (pending context and nuance, of course).

Not to mention giving the individual I hurt a stuffed animal or something cute (or funny) is my way of attempting to help soothe the upset that I had caused. So not only am I apologising but I'm actively attempting to make up for it... because for me, actions feel far more fulfilling than words in these situations (again pending nuance and context).

I know I'm not the only one who has had this struggle, so I hope that if you also struggle with this, that perhaps this method of apology will be an adequate replacement for a stereotypical verbal-only apology. 🧡

[xtigerwoman]

i love women so much i wanna cry

[luminarai]

good morning to these talented husbands who are both called david and wear the same outfits and to them ONLY

[destroyymee]

what am I supposed to do with my life? I can’t even make simple decisions.

[youmatterlifeline]

Photo credit: Eyeonannapolis

While bullying doesn’t cause suicide, a stressful environment and persistent, emotional victimization can increase a person’s risk of suicide. Together, we can create awareness about the dangers of bullying and give emotional support to those who may be contemplating suicide. If you or someone you know is in an emotional distress or suicidal crisis, please call the Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).               

[claratyler]

Hello everyone! My name is Maria and i am a young mexican musician making their way through the world. In about a month I will be graduating from my music degree, where I studied piano and composition. And i thought to myself: "huh. why not make a tumblr post about the services I offer?" So here goes:

•Remote private piano/composition/music theory lessons. geared exclusively to your interests! It doesn't matter what your entry level is, all you need is access to a piano/keyboard and an interest in learning about music.

•Arrangements. Is there a song you love and wish you could play but you cannot find sheet music for it and are having trouble playing it by ear? I can arrange the song of your choice for whatever instrumentation suits you!

• Comissions. Do you want a piece written just for you? I can compose music based on your likes, interests, and skill levels specially for you. (This makes a great and personal gift for loved ones as well <3)

Feel free to DM me for further info!

Check out @mariaharmony to see some of my work :)

[aaaangel444]

[ithelpstodream]

[inthefallofasparrow]

In the town where I grew up, there was a large statue in one of the parks, of a famous historical white colonizer. I'm not going to say who specifically, suffice it to say that it was someone who wasn't worth memorializing for their deeds. And as you can imagine, this statue was a frequent target of vandalism, with paint or toilet paper or eggs on multiple occasions. Now, the local council was generally pretty lax when it came to repairing potholes or other public damage in the town, but every time, 24 hours after this particular statue was hit, the same person would always appear in a Hi-Vis vest, hat, mask and sunglasses, carrying a bucket of water, and wash it clean. They would do it as quickly as possible, but always made sure the face and the name carved at the bottom were generously scrubbed. This only encouraged people to do it again, and so it became a vicious cycle.

Within a year, the statue had sustained so much damage that it was unrecognizable and the lettering unreadable, so eventually the council came and took it down. Also apparently, the person in the Hi-Vis vest didn't even work for the council. They were supposedly just some 'good samaritan' who cleaned it, often before the council even discovered it needed cleaning, so they just let them do it and ignored the problem. They didn't bother putting the statue up again.

Much later, we found out that the anonymous 'samaritan' had been deliberately washing the statue with a bucket of saltwater, which had dramatically corroded it, causing irreversible accumulative damage far worse than spray paint ever would have done. It's even theorized that they were also often the one spray-painting it, just so that they had an excuse to come back after a day to wash it.

[peoplecallmedisappointment]

I have two but I don't know which is better so I give both choose which one is better