hi! my name is alice, and this is my writing blog. she/her, i'm 8teen, a july baby, a cancer sun, virgo moon, cancer rising, an enfp-a, bi, and cameroonian-american.
cw: broke pb (no shade), pb having to kiss men this chapter (sorry i kept it as brief as i could), just paige feeling uncomfortable in general, no azzi this chapter but pazzi meet in the next, pb having to present as fem, other typical shit you'd expect from a lesbian on a straight dating show
wc: 3.4k
summary: desperate to pay off her debt, paige applies to love island, attempting to scam her way to the prize money, but unexpectedly falls for her castmate azzi fudd.
read on ao3 | masterlist
Paige’s life became hell the night of Rickea’s birthday; and like all horror stories begin, she had gotten absolutely plastered and blacked out. Waking up, the next day, with a pounding headache and the need to immediately throw up, though she still couldn’t bring herself to, even when she pulled trig.
She’d gone about her morning as productively as she could—by finishing up the lesson plans she’d been procrastinating—while nursing a raging hangover, before she’d gotten a text from her bank, alerting her that she’d withdrawn 20 grand from her savings account. And as if it was a trigger, the once lost memories of the previous night had came to her.
In flashes, she saw herself get in a heated debate over March Madness with a random—who was dogging on the UConn’s women’s basketball team—at the club. She was arguing that they’d win it all, and she vaguely recounted the man taunting her to bet on it if she was so sure, and after that still nothing.
To say she broke down after was an understatement, she had argued with at least 10 different workers who had let her know that they didn’t offer refunds. And when disputing the charge through her bank hadn’t worked, she immediately began planning on how to get the money back. She’d lost a third of her yearly salary from bar tending and teaching; she didn’t even work at a public school—the small private one that employed her, essentially paid her pennies. All she could do was pray that her team won and picked up odd jobs on the side to make up for the potential loss.
And following the supposed trend, her bad luck prevailed, leaving her practically sobbing to her friends one night on her shift. “I swear to fucking God,I’m never even gonna think of taking a sip of alcohol again.”
“I highly doubt that,” Rickea muttered under her breath.
“Hey, not too much on her,” Dijonai rebuffed reaching over the bar too comfort Paige.
“No I’m a dumb ass, I deserve it,” she moped, her sullen voice barely audible over the loud ambiance and music in the bar.
“Okay hold on now, I ain’t say allat!” Rickea stood up, “Bitch I just got a great idea, you gotta go one some reality TV show typa thing. One with prize money, and win!”
“Kea please be serious, this is serious.” Paige exasperated while wiping glasses dry. “Plus, I’m not gonna make it on some bullshit like Survivor or whatever. They wouldn’t even cast me in the first place.”
“I’m not talking about Survivor, cause you wouldn’t survive shit. But you could hold your own on something like Big Brother, and it’s 750k for the winner.”
“750k?” Dijonai and Paige gasped, mouths agape.
“Wait that’s insane,” Paige muttered, already making calculations in her head as Dijonai whipped out her phone to do more research.
“Yup, and it starts during the summer too so you could still apply for this year!”
“But Kea she’d be completely cut off from the rest of the world for 3 months. And P is not good at lying or manipulation, her face gets all red and shit.”
Paige sagged at her worlds, “Yeah, super hello no. Look guys, I appreciate all your ideas, but don’t let my bullshit ruin your night. For real, I’ll figure it out.” Before her friends could give a rebuttal, she went to tend to other costumers who had approached the bar.
Later when she made her way back to them, they ordered more shots. “Okay, so I’mma genius,” Dijonai slurred a bit, clapping her hands to the beat of the bass. “You should go on Love Island! It’s only six weeks, and if you win, you get 100k. Even if you don’t, you leave famous as fuck, like actually bro.”
Rickea cackled, “Yeah? And how long would her gay ass last on that shit. Paige not fooling nobody, she don’t even wear lip gloss boo.”
“The fuck?” Paige interjected, slapping her towel on the counter, “I used to give these straight white girls a run for their money back in high school. I can tap back into fem PB, yup,” She nodded along to her own words.
“So, you’re willing to be isolated without your phone, on an island where you have to make out with and date men for half a summer?”
“Kea, for a 100k, I’d do way worse than that.”
Within the next week after that shift, she’d sent in her application, her two friends had given her a “baddie makeover”, doing her make up, styling her with their own clothes, and taking her casting photos for her. The whole day had been fun, filled with laughter and them goofing off; she’d thanked her friends profusely after—since in the back of her mind, this was all for naught.
A month later, she’d come home early in the morning after a long shift at the bar—her hours had increased since the school year was over—and she was utterly exhausted.
She was blearily fixing herself a frozen meal, too lazy to fix up a quick sandwich. While she was waiting for her microwave to beep, she was sleepily sifting through her emails when she saw something that immediately gave her a second wind.
“Congratulations, Ms. Paige Bueckers! We’re ecstatic to invite you to join Love Island USA’s cast of season 8.”
Paige stared at the email for a full minute, rapidly blinking as though that would change the text on her screen.
“…Oh, fuck me.”
The cheers of encouragement from the other Casa girls, and the yell from the producer telling her to go, was the last thing Paige heard as her mind went blank, and she made her way over to the fire pit where the rest of the boys were enthusiastically waiting. She strutted over to the low quiet beat being played over the villa speaker, which the producers had explained was only there for timing. Her heart was racing and she felt a crushing sense of anxiety, so heavy it could knock her down.
But she went through the motions, which was simple enough since she’d religiously practiced this routine for the past 12 hours, since she’d been briefed on the challenge in the hotel room they held her in.
Adrenaline pumping, she twirled, “I heard that some of y’all were sick of your time in the villa and needed me to check up on y’all!”
She internally sighed with relief from the roar of response she got from the men. The corny pick up line was something she had to come up with about 20 minutes ago, when they presented her with a nurse costume.
Paige was in the most raunchiest costume she’d ever worn, they even managed to give her cleavage with the little amount of breasts she had. She’d never even worn a thong before, let alone a mini skirt that had her whole front and back out for the world to see. She took out a thermometer from the pocket of her skirt, cringing as she seductively sucked on it, as she teasingly dropped to the floor how Rickea taught her, trying not to lose her balance in the platforms they put her in. And when she got up, she went in and kissed the first boy on the edge of the couch.
She doesn’t now how she made it through her turn without completely embarrassing herself on national television. She grinded on them, shook her ass to the best of her ability, threw out her most cliché sexy nurse lines, sucked and licked them and sucked and licked them some more.
When she was finally done with all of them she called out with the brightest smile, “My name’s Paige, make sure to stop by later and leave a 5 star review!” The boys thundered, the most enthusiastic ones being Caleb and Sincere.
She made her way over to where the other girls who had already gone, lightly tapping her forehead to try and dry up the sheen of sweat she worked up. She was also internally panicking, she had just done that in front of the whole nation essentially; her parents were going to see this, hell, even her bosses might.
“Girl you fucking ate that!” Sydney exclaimed with, Amora vehemently agreeing with her.
Trying her best to match their high energy, she beamed. “For real? I’m not even gonna lie, I blacked the fuck out, I’ve never done no shit like this before.”
The girl’s reassured her that her set was fire, and she made sure to praise them back as well, resisting her urge to man spread, she awkwardly crossed her legs like the rest of them. She was all too aware of the cameras around them, the itchy feeling of the fuzzy mic on her sweaty neck, and still in shock that no one’s found out that she’s the gayest girl in the fucking world.
She severely underestimated how hard it would be to straight bait—since she used to give the other straight white girls a run for their money her first two years of high school. And of course, she knew about the raunchy challenges but the producers really threw her out into the ocean without a life jacket, with this being their entrance into Casa Amor.
And in the moment she felt unbelievably grateful to Dijonai and Rickea for teaching her how to twerk and dance; like the geniuses they were, the upcoming weeks before she entered the villa, they gave her a whole damn fem-class.
When the challenge was finally over, Paige felt dread, her attempts to join in with the girls conversing was half hearted. The producers had now advised them all to start mingling. And in the corner of her eye she could see Sincere, unsurprisingly, making a bee-line for her—when it had been the boys turn to dance on them, he had been the one to show the most interest, taking her to the front of the fire pit and gave her a special dance with an excessive amount of kisses and ass grabbing.
“Hey Paige, could I pull you for a chat?” He held out his hand she grabbed it, helping her up off the couch.
She counted to three before forcing out a charming smile. “Of course player,” She winked, “I was hoping you would.”
“Oh really?” She would say she could hear the smile in his voice, if she wasn’t looking at it herself, noticing the some what appealing wrinkles next to his eyes. At least he’s not the ugliest guy in here, she thought.
“Mhm.” She hummed, and then finessed her way through the most uneasy conversation of her life. Sincere made sure that they sat close to each other, him already getting incredibly comfortable and rubbing her thigh. Goosebumps formed on her skin from every nerve in her leg screaming at her to move it.
“You cold in Fiji?” He asked giggling out.
She matched his playful temperament, “Hey! You’re not the one in skimpiest outfit ever.”
“It’s not gonna do much but here,” He pulled off his vest, laying it across her.
“You’re so sweet,” she murmured, holding his gaze, until he leaned in for a kiss. She almost flinched away, but dialed in and kissed him back passionately, trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling of his facial hair. She ran her fingers through his long hair, trying to stimulate the feeling of kissing a girl. It didn’t work.
When their kiss broke he groaned, “I’m so fucked.”
“I’ll make sure of it,” she said cheekily, jutting her chin out. The man happily sighed out, rubbing circles on her arm.
“So…Would you want to share a bed with me tonight?”
“I’d love to.”
Sincere kept her mainly occupied for the rest of the evening, unknowingly stopping her from exploring Caleb, who she’d originally had her eye on. During the previous weeks she was kept in her hotel before coming, the producers had instructed her to watch the former episodes to catch up, and especially to study the male islanders that they’d go for in Casa.
Caleb had seemed simple enough to deal with, she was certain his type was blondes, and that he was definitely more of a gentleman than the man she was currently lying with. Surprisingly, she was lucky tonight, and Sincere was quick to fall asleep. She had popped a melatonin gummy, and had her sleeping mask on, but she wished they allowed them headphones, it was very strange to have to listen to the soft moans and wet kisses coming the other beds.
As she tried to drift off, she weighed her options, Caleb already seemed to be set on Jaiden after Corbin had taken Parmida from him. She didn’t know if she could compete with her, and she didn’t want to put Sincere off of her, since she seemed to be the only person he was strongly interested in here. But he had Azzi waiting for him back home, and with how loyal the girl has been to him so far, she didn’t see her re-coupling with a casa boy. Paige hoped she would though, not only for selfish reasons, but because she was too sweet for him.
But would Sincere bring her back? He’s easy enough and gets distracted with any pretty girl in his face, but she needs to apply pressure.
Caleb had expressed interest in her in the heart rate challenge, she being one of the the girls he lingered on but had made no move to talk to her after. She came to the conclusion that maybe he was discouraged by her spending so long with Sincere, so she decided that next day she’d maybe try and discreetly pull him, so Sincere wouldn’t feel a certain way. And as if he knew she was thinking of him, the man shuffled around before sleepily wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer. So Paige began counting sheep to make her gummy kick in quicker.
The next couple days were a draining whirlwind, she had been living of less than 5 hours of sleep each night, and Sincere’s god awful breakfast. One of the girls had opted to leave, Ally was her name, maybe. And she was damn near over all of this by the temperature challenge, which had her licking and being licked by Sincere; she doesn’t think she’s ever been so unaroused before. She had also pursued Caleb, before being completely put off by his cringe teenage boy humor. At least with Sincere, it was like talking to her homeboy—since they shared many interests, particularly their love for sports and Criminal Minds—except, she had to be more intimate with him.
Not to mention she had also become Bryce’s part time therapist. After the second time she saw him by the balcony, staring longingly out to the main villa, she had to ask the man if he was alright. It was touching when he went on a whole speech basically professing his love (he avoided using that word) for Trinity; though she felt much concern when he kept mentioning death. So, she went out of her way to give him many reassurances, confirming that his villa partner felt just as deeply as him, based on what she’d seen in the previous episodes.
Now, it was at last the final day of Casa, Paige had felt so much relief when one of the boys had announced the text they’d gotten of a re-coupling happening tonight. At this point, she wanted to be over with Casa, even if she went home, she’d be able to take it on the chin. The heat in Fiji was something else, her pale self already rocking a bit of a tan. And then the nights were chilly, which is hard to deal with in skimpy outfits and dresses, and production keeping them outside till late, to film different challenges or chats.
And now she was in the gossipy makeup room, carefully applying her makeup as Dijonai had coached her back at home. These past couple of days she had been sporting a more simple daily look, concealing the areas that needed it, applying mascara, and a simple lip combo.
But tonight, she needed to go all out, she was already in a deep blue (Sincere’s favorite color) slit dress, with boob tape to enunciate her cleavage. With her hair rollers already in, she was doing a full beat, mentally repeating the steps her friend had given her, and it was coming along decently. Her focus didn’t even allow her to join in with the other girl’s chatter, she probably wouldn’t have much input anyway. As she precisely lined her eyes, she thought about how she hadn’t gotten along with most of her casa girls that well. The only ones she meshed with were Amora and Sydney, and still, she didn’t enjoy being around them for too long.
She was finishing up her hair, when one of the producers came in to give them a five minute warning. She quickly did some finishing touches, impressed by the final outcome. Her and the girls came in together for one last hurrah, and then made their way out to the fire pit.
The producers arranged them in front of the fire, each girl across from the boy they’d been pursuing. Paige stood with her legs crossed, staring into the bright flames; Sincere has been avoiding making eye contact with her and she knew what that meant.
Best case scenario, she could someone how use the clout from this to become C-list influencer on the side, and do any and every brand deal that comes her way. Sincere and Azzi got a huge amount of screen time, and since she was now an “obstacle” in their love story, she’s sure she’s been one of the main focuses in these Casa episodes as well.
She was of course, irritated by the other man’s offhandedness, she had practically debased herself on national television—going out of her way to take on this persona of a blonde vixen. She even went as far as to praise him for not being intimidated that she was slightly taller than him, along with other clichés she researched that straight men love to hear.
Her nerves over took her more and more as they progressed down the line, because of course she was at the end. Corbin brought back Parminda, Caleb coupled up with Jaiden; Byrce and Zach decided to stay loyal to their couples, it was just her and Sincere left. He stood up from the crescent sofa, and turned to her, finally meeting her eyes for the first time all night. Once given the go by the producers, he finally gave out his verdict, along with a monologue, of course.
“I really wanted to emerge myself into this Casa experience,” the educator side of Paige couldn’t help but judge his misuse of the word emerge.
“And I’m really grateful for you Paige, for allowing that to come true for me. My time with you Paige was so effortless, and you’re so chill and funny, oh and beautiul. I loved being with someone who could take a joke, and I mean, we’re both really into Sports, though you being a Vikings fan is criminal,” Paige let out an appropriately timed giggle despite not being amused.
“And, I really do think if we had enough time, you’d…you would’ve been the one for me,” Sincere let out with a sigh. “Which is why, I’ve decided to re-couple with Paige and bring her back.”
The roller coaster of emotions she went through these past 10 minutes can’t have been good for her heart, she tried her best to control the tremor in her hands as she made her way over to him with a radiant smile. The rest of the boys and girls clapped and cheered, as they embraced and shared a lingering kiss.
The producers allowed them to say their final farewells to the girls who had not been chosen. Quickly after, they were all rushed to the dock—with their luggage they had packed before the re-coupling—to board the boat, having to quickly make their journey to the other island.
They were finally situated on the boat, Paige wearing his jacket as he held her. “How do you think it’s gonna go in there? You think Azzi ain’t find someone in there?”
Sincere was quiet for a second before lightly kissing her shoulder, “I hope she brought back that guy she was all cuddled up with in that photo, or else it finna get real fucking messy.”
writing smut feels so awkward until i read it back and im like okay it’s not absolute dogshit, also i had to start part 2 all over bcs im going a completely different route, and for some reason i couldn’t even help it but pazzi started fucking?? the smut wasn’t supposed to be till after this chapter but oh well hunni i can’t control them 🌚
sorry for going mia y’all, i started writing this jackieshauna fic and didn’t have any inspo to continue my pazzi one. BUT i have opened up the doc after 1000 years, so i am working on that next chapter! no guarantees for when it’ll come out tho
I LOVE darker themed Pazzi. I am so excited for this new fic of yours. Take all the time you need to write - I know it’s going to be a masterpiece!
thanks hunnn, i litch only started writing on here bcs i wanted more darker themed pazzi fics! also if y'all have any theme recommendations or requests, pls send me some! no guarantee i'll get to it ofc tho
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