this is my world

I swear around her all the time… Shit.

Well, you've got another few months to break the habit. She's a few months away from talking.

Tommy did you want me to order Pizza for dinner?

Hush. I’m always positive.

Positively a pain in my ass. Butt. Shouldn't swear around the baby.

So, life is pretty great. I got my baby girl. I got my baby boy. S’all good.

Bout time we have some positivity.

Tell Me Now, Where Was My Fault? || Telijah

Tommy understood and nodded, acknowledging what Elijah was saying. He just didn’t know how to respond. “You’re a good friend,” he said simply, keeping his arms over his eyes to try and blink back the tears. Tommy could feel his heart aching as he even thought of the way Cameron would’ve touched Elijah, the way he’d kiss him and sleep with him. “But Cameron is sensible—” he paused, his voice noticeably full of some form of spite, “I’m pretty sure if he notices something is wrong he’ll bail himself out.” Tommy took deep breaths, trying to control his breathing as he lay there. “You won’t need to put him back together.” You need to put yourself first, so do I. Or we’ll end up back at square one…

"I try." Eli turned around, getting up and stalking over to the bed, eyes on Tommy, intent. They were broken beings, and the best way they knew how to fix each other was to show each other love. "I just..." He shook his head, "I just want all the men in my life to be okay." He knelt on the bed and then laid out next to Tommy, kissing him with a little more passion, a little more power. "And I need them to believe that I'm here for them, in whatever way they need me." He closed his eyes and kissed him again, deeply, lovingly, "I missed you and I love you and I'm so so sorry that we fell apart the way we did."

#tommy x eli

Tell Me Now, Where Was My Fault? || Telijah

Tommy nodded to himself, laying on his back as Elijah turned over. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes as he listened. Tommy wouldn’t deny that he hated Cameron, he never used to, but after sleeping with Elijah it was all he felt. He hated himself for letting it happen. “Sebastian won’t hurt him,” he said lowly, almost not believing his words. In a way, he knew Sebastian. They were similar in their own way. “In the past he’s been a fucking douche sure but, the French guy’s got a thing for Cam, he can’t deny that.” Tommy rested his arms over his eyes and made a clicking noise with his mouth, craving a cigarette already. “You shouldn’t have to worry about him, Eli.”

Elijah rolled off the edge of the bed, grabbing his boxers and walking to the window, opening it and then sitting by it, breathing in the fresh air as he stared at the night sky, "He's my best friend." He said simply, He always has been and he always will be." He looked back at Tommy, "I love you to the end of the world, and I always will, but I'm never going to give Cam up because he's my best friend and I'll always care about him too." He stared at Tommy, "I hope you're right. I don't know...I don't know if I'm together enough to be able to put someone back together again." sat on the window ledge, one of the reasons he'd bought this house, staring out at the sky and smelling the sweet salt air.

#tommy x eli

Tell Me Now, Where Was My Fault? || Telijah

Tommy listened and nodded to himself. He couldn’t help but think. Tommy hadn’t been with anyone else whilst they were having a rough patch. Okay, he nearly slept with Sebastian, but it was nearly. Thank God too or else Tommy would be bleaching his asshole for eternity (a slight exaggeration on Tommy’s half). “What about your friend?” he asked quietly, licking his bottom lip. “Is Cam still involved with you? Or is that why you’re here?” He couldn’t help but sound blunt; he was just worried. Elijah had Cameron. Tommy had no one. Elijah could easily just walk away and be with Cam if he wanted to.

Elijah heard Tommy's words and he broke again, tears bubbling up in his eyes as Cam slipped into his mind, He shook his head, "Cam and I have always just been friends, Tommy." He blinked to clear the tears, "Nothing more. And..." He sighed and shook his head and turned away, "Cam and Sebastian are getting married." He said, facing the wall in their bedroom, guilt crashing over him, "And I'm afraid if Sebastian hurts Cam, I'll have to put him together again and I don't know if I can." He let the tears fall, gently against his cheeks and the pillow.

#tommy x eli

Tell Me Now, Where Was My Fault? || Telijah

"I’m so sorry," Tommy whispered. He repeated it, once, twice, again. He knew he’d been wrong, he knew he acted strange, he knew he let his fear get the better of him. Somehow, all it took was for Elijah to come crying into the bedroom for him to realize this. "I… I know I’ve been stupid," he said softly, avoiding eye contact, ashamed of himself, "I know I’ve not been there when I was supposed to. I know I’ve left you to do everything but, I promise you Eli, I love you." He kissed Elijah’s forehead and sighed softly, not daring to let tears fall in front of his boyfriend. "I swear I’m going to do whatever it takes to make things up to you, I promise."

"We all make mistakes." Eli whispered. "You're allowed to be weak, Tommy. You're allowed to need me just like i'm apparently allowed to need this." He sighed deeply, "I was afraid you were gonna walk away." He admitted softly, "Walk away and take Melly with you and I don't now if I could have handled that." His breath shook as they lay there, Eli's green orbs eventually cracking open, "I love you and I didn't want to lose you." He whispered as he tugged Tommy's face up so he could meet his eyes, "I just got you back." He said softly, kissing him again slowly.

#tommy x eli #paras

Tell Me Now, Where Was My Fault? || Telijah

They lay on the bed for a while, just breathing in each other and melting into each other’s heat. Sex wasn’t an option at this moment, Tommy refused to let it be an option — because sex to Tommy could be impulsive and this time, he wanted to get it right. When things were right, he’d make it up to Eli. Right now, he just needed Eli to know he was there. “I missed you too,” he whispered softly, pressing another soft kiss to Elijah’s lips. He took off his shirt and tossed it to the side, gently nudging Elijah, holding the hem of his shirt and helping him take his shirt off too. “I just want to lay here, okay?” he asked softly, looking into Elijah’s eyes as he unzipped his shorts and slid them off of his body. “Just want to lay with you for now.” Tommy wasn’t good with words, but he could show his emotions through his actions. It was a silly gesture but he just wanted to be naked right now, he wanted Eli to be naked too. Just so as they could lay together and be close; just bare with nothing to hide, everything pure and simple.

Eli tried not to think about the last person he'd laid in bed with naked, for the last time. Tried to focus on Tommy, lean lines and dark ink on his skin, the mirror of himself, atho Tommy had a bit more color. He undressed, never one for clothing anyway, laying close to his lover, kissing him deeply and breathing him in as they did. Neither of them had anywhere else to be, the baby asleep, and for once, they could be wrapped back up in each other again, return their center of gravity to its rightful place between them. Elijah sighed deeply and nuzzled against Tommy's shoulder, hand running over skin and ink, his own body marked with memories of the past, memories he never wanted to forget. He needed to get a new one, something for Melody, something for Tommy. But as much as tattoos were always on his mind, what he needed right now was right in front of him, and the smile that came was easy.

#tommy x eli #para

Tell Me Now, Where Was My Fault? || Telijah

Tommy still had no idea what was going on but he felt his heart become heavy as Elijah kept whispering to him. He’d never seen Elijah so broken, at least, he’d not seen Elijah like this since they were in High School, prom night. “I’m right here,” Tommy said softly, running a hand through Elijah’s hair and continuously kissing his head, his hands keeping his boyfriend as close as possible. “I love you too—” he paused, swallowing after saying those words. He didn’t know whether Elijah wanted to hear them at the moment, but he’d said them, and Tommy didn’t care. “I’ve missed you too, I’m so sorry I’ve been a dick, Eli.” Tommy didn’t dare cry in front of his boyfriend. He held himself together and held his boyfriend in his arms as if he was the only thing on earth that’d keep him alive; he needed Elijah too. He pulled away softly and looked into Eli’s eyes, gently stroking a cheek with his thumb before pressing their lips together — something he’d not done in a long time now. Yet his lips remembered every movement and every touch, as if nothing bad had ever happened between them.

Elijah's body relaxed at the words, at his response, at knowing that they still had a chance, a hope, a future. He wanted to explain, wanted to tell Tommy why he was like this why everything hurt but then Tommy kissed him and it was like their first kiss all over again in the bookshop, Tommy's lips soft, Elijah's melding against his and Elijah remembering how to breathe again. With every touch, Tommy was fixing Elijah, every whispered word and his apology. Elijah shook his head, broke the kiss, "Don't be sorry." He whispered, tears still flowing, "Just be here. Please." He laid back against the bed, moving to the side so he and Tommy were laying, facing each other, giving slow, lazy kisses, Elijah's hand running down Tommy's tattooed arm, smiling against his lips, his own green eyes closed as he kissed his lover, "Missed you so much." He breathed.

#tommy x elijah #paras

Tell Me Now, Where Was My Fault? || Telijah

Tommy’s emotions and demons had gotten the best of him lately, that much was true. The problem was that Tommy honestly didn’t mean it. He was a twenty one year old who’d been travelling the country with his band since he was seventeen, he didn’t expect the success after that. He got involved with drinking, drugs and a ton of sex. He’d wake up in hotels he didn’t even remember booking in to. He came back to Summerland once they’d broken up and in a way, it was like Tommy had been cleansed. He could start over here. Yet, his cocky attitude seemed to make things worse within the first few weeks. Then after feuding with Eli for a while, they finally worked things out and got together — within weeks of that happening, a baby shows up. All of his fears seemed to become him. The fear of not being a good enough boyfriend, not being able to commit to anything, not being able to father a child, he was still trying to figure out who he was. Part of the reason for Tommy coming home was so that he could take time and discover himself again, but that hadn’t happened. Everything just got so much harder and the only thing he could do to deal with reality was to block it out. Ignore it. Pretend it didn’t happen. Yet, he seemed to love knowing what was happening in reality; he had a beautiful boyfriend and a gorgeous daughter who was a blessing in disguise. They both were. Because as much as Tommy was struggling to do things right now, the thought of his little family kept him from doing the bad things. He blinked and sighed heavily as he watched the TV, not even hearing the unsteady breathing from the other side of the room. He barely acknowledged Elijah climbing onto the bed until he heard his boyfriend’s voice. It was then that Tommy finally felt something and broke out of his thoughts. He looked at Elijah with his mouth parted slightly and eyebrows furrowed with worry. Tommy didn’t say a thing, but right away he knelt in front of his boyfriend and held him as tight as he possibly could. He could feel Elijah’s sobs coming quicker. “It’s gonna be alright,” he whispered softly, rubbing Elijah’s back. Tommy had no idea what was going on. He had no idea why Elijah was like this but he didn’t know whether to ask or not. Instead, he just comforted him. Cooing him softly, kissing his forehead and holding him as close as he possibly could. “I’m so sorry.”