happy pill

 just wanted to track how i improve my emotional stability 

[sugarmint-dreams]

this year in gifs, thank you for the support ♥️

-

my shop

[catchymemes]

The Collection

[nourrice]

tbh I am ugly but I’m also gorgeous it’s very complex

[theerrraticmind]

Aug 11 I feel so loved today by my family and friends That feeling 1. When they're happy to see you after a long time and to know you're coming back to school even though your situation is tough 2. When they want to celebrate the fact that you still got enrolled and joking around 3. When they wish you luck on your first day 4. When someone who you don't consider as a very close friend asked if you'll come back to school tomorrow 5. When your parents do everything for you!!! ❤️ 6. When your parents got annoyed by someone who wants to be updated with me coming to school or not. My parents said i want to study in that uni so i should and they say don't mind them bc you're gonna be a successful person someday 7. When someone talks to you about how you're doing in the enrollment to get an update bc she wishes you to get back on that prestigious university again 8. When they ask for your opinion or answer or an idea about something bc she believes you have wonderful thoughts 9. When you noticed your friend that he'll miss talking to you bc you're going to school now 10. When your mom is sending sweet messages while you're outside to remind you to be safe always ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[theerrraticmind]

[theerrraticmind]

August 4, 2016 This day God proved to me that there is always hope if you keep believing in Him. Laying in bed last night, I thought of what mom could possibly tell us as she arrives home. Maybe the moment she walked inside our house, her face would light up seeing us yet you would notice a glint of loneliness in her eyes knowing she did everything she can but sadly she didn't get paid enough to pay my tuition fee. Then she starts talking to us that she can't do anything anymore, that no one really wants to lend their money to us, and that maybe anjel would stop for a year until she gets a job. She cries while still looking tough and dad tries to absorb the sadness, containing himself so as not to add anymore negativity. The minute I woke up a while ago with the loud voice of my mom as she told everything to my dad, I tried going back to sleep when I saw the time—8am. Realizing I couldn't due to mom's distracting talkativeness and that I eagerly wanted to know if I could still enroll or not, I just lied stiffly listening to both of my parents talking to each other. *After a few told stories* "Buti nga nandiyan si jolo sabi niya tutulungan niya daw mag-aral si anjel sa ust tapos sinabihan ko rin si thea tungkol dito kasi diba asawa naman siya ni jolo. Gusto niya rin namang tulungan si anjel kasi dati pinipilit rin siyang mag-aral sa dubcat ng mga tito niya e gusto niya sa assumption kaya naiintindihan niya si anjel." Hearing those words, I felt so relieved and started crying quietly out of joy. I thought I would really stop going to school, that I would be one year delayed but because of God's mighty power, he blessed us with people who will help us endure our temporary hardships. My faith gets even stronger as the time flies because God is always here for me to provide everything especially at this point in my life. I am so grateful to God!! If only I could erase all my sins, I could say I've followed His footsteps but the way He made us, human beings with both perfections and imperfections, indicates that striving to become better means allowing yourself to be closer to God.

[theerrraticmind]

July 31, 2016 In this moment of hopelessness—after my dad and I thought of possible jobs to apply for and having realized neither of those fit his skills, agreed with his body clock, and qualified his age—we are out of ideas how he could get a work again. How will i even enroll this school year? If i did, how would i pay the books required and other miscellaneous fees? How will i go out with my friends if all i think about is earning my allowance to supply my academic needs? 😞 Maybe i should stop first? I know mom is having a hard time dealing with this situation. She thinks about where to borrow money, how will her daughter continue studying in a prestigious school, when will she get a job to finally end our crisis. Shealso thinks about passing the board exam she's getting ready into so that when she passes, she could go to work in a clinic or abroad. That's what she thinks will happen. She is an optimistic person and I love that about her. She is full of hope that soon everything will be okay, that our lives will be the way it was. But I seem to notice the things she said last year did not become true unfortunately like "2016 wil be our year!" "I'd get a job next year after I graduated. (She almost did)" "We're going to be rich!". Mom says these things all the time but the other side of her won't let positivity win over. She'd just poignantly utter every sad and regretful memories and when she's had enough she'll bring up stuff not related to the main topic she started with. It is so annoying that I wish I didn't have ears the minute she speaks about the problems of the world. So now, i am just thinking if id stop, will the burden my parents carry lessen? Will they stop worrying so much?

[mielrosa-deactivated20160819]

[iowebillions]

cool

[homoeroticassfixiation]

I’m kinda expecting the petals to arrange themselves into a humanoid and walk up to the camera person to give them a message of grave importance from a sorceress

[theerrraticmind]

When can i get an uno? I don't care if I always mention it which makes others think is the reason that could jinx it. Lol pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee skills work on it. Motivation work on it. Effort work on it. I badly want it but sadly it has not yet come.

[theerrraticmind]

i survived 1st yr college

Feeling so happy right now, I look back and tell myself you’ve worked hard enough to not fail in your first year and for that, you deserve to continue studying in UST and you also deserve to have some ice cream! This year was only the adjusting phase of college (yet our first semester was a total nightmare because of our 8am-6pm schedule that I needed to stay in a dorm). It introduces you the grading system and passing rates of each subject to know what scores you should get to pass and reveals the type of professors you’ll encounter whether he/she maybe a professor who tells you to just study three chapters at home and prepare for a quiz on Monday, who gives loads of projects and assignments to be submitted in a day, who calls students randomly to answer their questions and asks very details of your report that you become nervous if she will shoot a hard question on you, or a professor who is both an expert in the subject he/she’s handling and a passionate educator. It also teaches you how to manage the time spent studying and time spent for yourself and for your family and friends, how to mingle and cope with different people from different places and how to get back on your feet when you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom. All of these helped me in becoming an independent, sensible and matured person because it let me experience the reality of living, that you think ahead of the decisions you make, that you must put effort in achieving your goals even the small ones, and that you should budget time efficiently to accomplish everything without stressing out.

I can now say that college is hard but now I’ve learned the basics about this challenge, I think it’s time to change a little my college tactics more to get those unos in my student portal. 😏 ((But please let my schedule be as good as our last semester!! I don’t want to go home at night!))

[honeeyyy]

Golden Gate Bridge at sunrise // San Francisco, California, USA

[theerrraticmind]

Every time i go to this freedom blog: scrolls through past text posts - comments how funny and problematic each post was at the same time - thinks about posting those comments

[theerrraticmind]

When you want to blog about something but then just a few minutes have passed and you've lost interest in the subject that's bothering you.

[theerrraticmind]

They did not even congratulate me

Yesterday is the release of USTET results so when I got home, I was all excited yet nervous because I was afraid I won't pass the test. When my mom and I chatted for a moment, this subject came up then I asked her "DID YOU ALREADY SEE MY RESULTS? DID I PASS???!?" "Yep and you passed (with a grin on her face)" "YOU'RE JOKING. DID YOU ALREADY SEE IT? SERIOUSLY??" "Yes. Look. (Shows the screenshot taken from her phone) "OH MY GAD but wait I'm a waitlister? I passed but included on the waiting list? And where's my priority course? Why did the second one show up? (Frowns so so so bad)" then the conversation continued in a while that turned into a confrontation between me and mom. I was so sad I slept after what I discovered. Until now, I still am. When I shared this to some of my classmates, they didn't even congratulate me for passing because in their mind waitlisters are those who might be forfeited in the university. Waitlisters are those who don't have a full slot. So they didn't even bother to say "congrats at least you passed & still, you have a chance" I only heard it from a few but most of them were like "aww too bad" "it's okay" like wtf those words are for non-passers and it's like I DON't STAND A CHANCE OH PLEASE. Give a little encouragement. 😞😔 Well, at least some people manage to comfort you with the sadness you're feeling and I'm grateful for that. At the very least, it made me smile a bit.

[reichenfeels]

“We’re your family, we’re allowed to make fun of you”

“Come on, it’s just a joke”

“toughen up and stop being a baby”

“We’re just teasing”

BULLYING IS BULLYING NO MATTER WHO IT COMES FROM.

IT JUST HURTS A FUCKLOAD A LOT MORE WHEN ITS COMING FROM PEOPLE YOU TRUST

FUCK OFF.

[reichenfeels]

this post will often go weeks without a note

and then there’ll be a holiday

and it resurfaces

and that makes me sad

[theerrraticmind]

Solenn Heussaff inspires just rn

While we were watching, an ad came up wherein solenn was being interviewed about her body figure. She said when she was a kid, she was fat (aged 8-15 yrs old) and people at her school bullied her because of it. But without her past experiences, she said she never would become who she is right now. At the end of the ad, words in hashtag flashed which promotes hope. #theresalwayshope (Non verbatim)

Ahh 😌 I was glad after I watched it and told my parents “See, there is always hope. Maybe someday I can be Solenn.” Then we laughed thinking the matter might really happen.

[chattermaxunderthesink]

"i’m sad and idk how to feel better"

"i don’t know what to draw"

"i always mess up"

"BUT I SUCK"