Vader is high-key insulted by the existence of the Death Star, the effort and expense thrown into making it, and the way everybodyās praising it as the new ultimate power in the universe, and probably the worst part of the whole affair?
Ā He has no one to bitch to about it.Ā
Even the Emperorās jumped on the superweapon hype train. Even the tolerably-competent officers like Tarkin are all #TeamDeathStar, and then thereās smug assholes like Admiral Motti who just wonāt shut up about it, and honestly?
Vaderās probably been on the email CC list for the design since the project started. YearsĀ of enduring shitty design and interdepartmental bickering and watching some smarmy asshole in an inferior cloak prance about bloviating about his special superweapon like somebody who has an anime body pillow of the superlaser housing.
And then thereās this one scientist who keeps going on and on about this thermal exhaust problem.
Just. Huge amounts of emails on the subject, going on and on and onĀ about it.
Vader is totally the only person who actually reads these after the first, like, five of them. Everybody else just skims through them with a side ofĀ āSeriously, Galen? Another one? Force-dammit, Krennic, couldnāt you have left him on that mudball with his family?ā But Vader is bored out of his skull with 90% of his job anyway, and itās not like he has anything better to do. Besides, viciously judging other peopleās design abilities is the closest thing to pass for fun when there arenāt any Rebels to slaughter or armies to curbstomp, and thereās plenty of shit design for the judging.
He spots the flaw in the reactor the first time it appears in the plans.
Heād have shit himself if it wasnāt for the suit.
He promptly makes a bet with himself on whether anybody is going to spot it.
Theyāre a pack of idiots. Every last one of them.
Maybe he contemplates telling them for like two-thirds of a second. It would be fun to lord his actualĀ mechanical expertise over that little shit, Krennic.
But then he considers that he can only tell them once, and what if it were afterĀ the thing blew itself right the fuck up, what if that? He can still point out the flaw, and he can throw everyoneās stupidity right in their stupid faces, but also thereāll be no more Death Star.
So when Galen Erso sends out Thermal Exhaust Problem Analysis Report #6,109 and buried in paragraph 37 is a suggestion of an extra exhaust port, and Krennic responds withĀ āSHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR GODDAMN THERMAL EXHAUST PORT, GALEN, I DONāT GIVE A SHIT!ā and Erso goes,Ā āSo you approve the solution?ā and Krennic goesĀ āS***** F*** LKJDGJFKL!!!!LJF$%#$DJF! YES!ā Vader saves the email exchange for posterity and is downright cheerful the rest of the week.
True, he acts in its defense, chasing down Rebels when the plans are stolen. Of course he does. Theyāre Rebels, and hunting them down is his job and one of the very few pleasures of his existence. But itās not for the Death Star. In fact, if one of them were to escape with its plans, and hide them successfully, and keep their location secret through torture and worse, and if another of them were to fly a starfighter well enough to keep from being destroyed long enough to drop a torpedo through that vulnerable exhaust port and touch off that reactor instability and turn the whole massive, ridiculous, wasteful, absurd, and vaguely insulting contraption into so much spacedust ā¦
Vaderās only regret about the whole affair is that Krennic predeceased it and is therefore unavailable for gloating to.
It doesnāt stop him from snagging a copy of the Rebelsā footage of the Death Star blowing up and posting it anonymously to the holonet with the added captionĀ āPlay stupid games, win stupid prizes.ā
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