Please just save me from this darkness.

Jill of most things. Jessie's girl

[uneditedjess-deactivated2016072]

Everything I know about love, I learned from you. And everything I know about pain, I learned from you.

Thank for the broken heart. And thank you for the permanent scars. Cause if it wasn’t for you I might not be here with the love of my life. All the pain has disappeared. So thank you for the broken heart.

[thefinalwordinthefinalsentence]

It's so wonderful to be dating someone that my mother loves too.

[thelovejournals]

And love is when someone who even knows your scars, stays to kiss them.

Benjamin Griss (via wnq-writers)

[android1000]

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[nileboy-deactivated20160821]

this is the purest thing on earth

[thefinalwordinthefinalsentence]

I feel so discouraged today.  I feel as though I may never get this whole relationship thing down.  Every day that goes by, I just discover that I am more fucked up than I ever realized.  It’s becoming more and more apparent that I don’t know what normal is.  Anytime I am confronted with something I immediately go into defensive panic mode and that usually leads to responding in a non productive way.  A lot of times, I feel trapped in my own thoughts and emotions because I can’t ever seem to express them in the way I mean to.  I often come across in ways I don’t mean to or make a face I don’t mean to.  It’s incredibly frustrating for me to not be able to convey what I am feeling most of the time.  I don’t know how to communicate in an effective way.  When I try, it usually starts an argument.  It makes me sad.  I feel like I am just doomed to be an awful person.  Maybe not awful, but misunderstood as awful.  My girlfriend says I am mean and rude to her a lot of the time.  It breaks my heart inside because she is the last person on this earth that I would ever intend to be mean or rude to.  I don’t even realize I am doing it.  It’s such a hopeless feeling and I am raging inside.  :(

[thefinalwordinthefinalsentence]

My girlfriend is better than yours.

[thefinalwordinthefinalsentence]

I am laying in bed listening to my girlfriend record music. I can't hear anything but her voice. The music is in her speakers. It's so soothing. I could listen to her voice for hours.

[thefinalwordinthefinalsentence]

Would really like to be able to take a bath or shower without someone needing to get in there to use the bathroom.

[thefinalwordinthefinalsentence]

I haven’t been able to sleep tonight.  It seems like it has been forever since I was able to sleep in without being woke up several times while trying.  I was blessed with the curse of being a lite sleeper.   

I think it’s amazing how things come into perspective.  You are going along seeing something one way and then perspective comes and runs your ass over. Sometimes all we need to see things more clearly is to see it another way.  I will be over here in the corner tending to the tread marks.    

I have been praying more lately.  I guess I have always prayed, but over the years those prayers have been few and far between.  Lately, I have been making up for lost time it seems.

I have to start packing to move again.  I am excited about the road that lays before me.  I have some new and exciting things ahead.  I also get to share it with my someone which makes it so much better.  I am not excited about the actual moving part and the packing.  Plus, my new landlord shot and killed someone earlier this year.  So there’s that.  He says it was self defense.  I don’t want to be all judgy about it, but damn.  He did tell me though and he didn’t have to.  That’s gotta mean something right?  

Speaking of my someone and things being better, I am constantly in awe of this woman who has chosen me to do life with.  She is with me which means she has to deal with the dark and twisty, the damaged, or whatever you wish to call it. She constantly reminds me that I shouldn’t let my past define me and well, she is right.  On a side note, she chose me.  She is going to come be with me and begin the new journey with me.  She didn’t have to, but she did.  No one has ever chosen me.  It’s kind of amazing.  

[loveandromancequotes]

Sometimes I wonder i ♥ More #LoveQuotes at Pinterest ♥

[thefinalwordinthefinalsentence]

Had the most perfect weekend with the most perfect beautiful woman. I cannot believe how lucky I am and how much better my life is since I've found you.

[thefinalwordinthefinalsentence]

Me: Do you dream about swimming because you kick all night in your sleep and I'm pretty sure you swim marathons in your sleep? GF: Maybe I'm dreaming about kicking your ass. You ever thought of that?

[thefinalwordinthefinalsentence]

If you're reading this, goodnight and I love you.

[wnq-writers]

I knew her two days. I loved her for three.

saintly-sinner (via wnq-writers)

[thefinalwordinthefinalsentence]

If you're reading this, I am thinking about you. I miss you and I love you.

[thefinalwordinthefinalsentence]

I am a mess.  I just keep thinking that I will wake up and this will all be a dream.  I can’t.  I just can’t.  All I want is to go to her.  I just want to hold her and tell her that I know we can do this.  I want to tell her how much I love her and how happy she has made me.  I want to tell her that I am scared too, but I want to try anyway.  I want to tell her that being with her is more important to me than any job I could ever have.  I want to do so much.  I feel so cheated.  I had no idea the last time would be the last time.  I feel like someone has ripped me apart.  I don’t understand why this wonderful woman was placed in my path only to be taken away 8 months later.  It seems dramatic.  It feels dramatic.  I am so sad.    

[thefinalwordinthefinalsentence]

So my girlfriend...well ex girlfriend....ended things with me this morning.  She insists that it’s because of the distance between us and there is a career goal she is working towards.  I have offered through discussions to move closer.  I am not tied down to anything right now.  She told me no.  I am so heart broken and angry.  This career goal was only going to be a year.  Just a year.  A year is nothing.  The year wouldn’t have even been an issue if she would be on board with me moving closer to her.  I am so tired of this never ending cycle.  I begin to date someone who tells me they want the same relationship goals that I do and then suddenly their goals change.  The thing is, I am not someone you walk away from.  I am an amazing partner.  I have goals.  I have ambition.  I work hard in my professional and my private life.  I go the extra mile in everything that I do and doors just keep getting slammed in my face.  I really thought I had it right this time.  She is an amazing person and I am devastated to lose her over something as simple as distance.