If You Wanna Walk Away Just Do So Softly

Finn. 23. Totally important journalist guy. I mean, just look at me. I exude importance. Bennington, VT. My second dream in life is to sleep with a magician.

[perriwinnkle]

ob screencaps: 11/?

[daphneblackvvood]

Not really, no. I mean, it is your name - that’s a pretty important thing. 

[thefinnblackwell]

I suppose the question is - is your birth name more important than the name you go by if it affects your professional life?

[jake-christensen]

More like to the other side of the country. I am.

[thefinnblackwell]

Warn a guy next time you're gonna drop emotional bombs, will you?

[jake-christensen]

Well, I’m glad I have the advantage of knowing it.

[thefinnblackwell]

Never speak it.

[stokes-wyatt]

Yeah man, I don’t know why. What’s the name?

[thefinnblackwell]

Uh.. not important. Just something pretentious that sounds just as professional shortened.

[kane-asghar]

Yeah, she might not, but it’s worth at least apologizing to her or trying to. But uh… we’re working on things.

[thefinnblackwell]

Wow, man. I mean, I can't say you didn't warn me about your feelings. Must have been a lot stronger than I realized. If you're happy though... who am I to judge? Just.. be careful.

[kane-asghar]

I don’t know either. I tried to talk to her, but she just kept pushing some of my buttons and, fuck, I could have handled it better. From what I know about their relationship, it was destructive. It was better to have ended even if they did care about each other. I don’t know why Blaise’s feelings for me then matter now because it wasn’t like he didn’t care about her. I just.. maybe you should talk to her. I want to try my luck too — don’t know if it will get anywhere, but I figure I should try.

[thefinnblackwell]

I mean, Blaise is a sore subject for her, so she may not tak to me about it. But I'll try my best. Also did I just miss something about you saying youa nd Blaise are together?

[jake-christensen]

Oh, come on, it’s not that bad.

[thefinnblackwell]

Oh you hush. You were never supposed to know what it was.

[jake-christensen]

Me. Moving. Gone next month.

[thefinnblackwell]

Where to? Like in town or... are you leaving Bennington Jake? My mind is blown. Explain.

[stokes-wyatt]

Wyatton isn’t even a name. But I don’t know, if I never went by it, it wouldn’t be too much  a stretch to change it?

[thefinnblackwell]

No, but if it was you would hate it. I mean, you have to keep in mind that this name is everywhere. Everything you do for your job is signed and sealed with this name and is released to the public.. So if you hated it, it would be everywhere. I dunno why I'm still trying to convince you, you already said it wouldn't be a stretch. Hmm.

[thefinnblackwell]

( SMS ; Noah and Finn )

Noah: Be honest, you got another supplier or something?

Finn: Oh my god. No, I don't have another dealer.

Finn: Okay, I tried to buy from Blaise but that's not news. But I'm seriously giving it up. My girlfriend isn't okay with it.

[thefinnblackwell]

Talk about love

Finn: I don't know much about love.Jesse: But you're in love.Finn: Yeah but I don't necessarily think to be in love you need to know much about it. Who ever said the experience was the same? I think, now that I'm in this relationship with Jordan I can see all the things people I knew were talking about. Why they felt ways that I used to think were ridiculous. And also that it can happen fast and maybe we, as a whole, shouldn't look down on  fast love.Jesse: You know it's very weird writing a happy, positive relationship when I've never experienced one myself. You and I are pretty much in the same boat.Finn: Yeah, I've never done this before. Relationships, romantic love. I've got all the platonic love in the world but not this. I guess that's one way we are the same as most of the time we differ.Jesse: Is there anything you're afraid of though, being in love with Jordan? I know there would be things I'd be scared of.Finn: I'm terrified. There are so many things. What if I'm not the guy she needs to see in her and CJ's life? What if Blaise coming back into the picture rekindles her old feelings? Or even if it doesn't what if it is the thing that makes Jordan decide she isn't really ready to be with me. I've fallen pretty hard for her. And this is my first brush with that. What if it's not as real for her as it is for me? I want love to be this huge sweeping thing that wraps you up and keeps you safe but it's kind of the opposite. It's risking your self security to feel that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you see them or kiss them. You could fuck up your whole life for butterflies.

[stokes-wyatt]

If you don’t go by it, I mean, sure. But I guess some people just embrace it? Like that dude who was a mayor somewhere, Harry Baals. They loved him, wanted to name some kinda center after him, and he had a fuckin’ terrible name.

[thefinnblackwell]

For his name or because he was a good mayor? The intentions they might not be in the right place. Some names are just really pretentious though, you know? Like what if your name was Wyatton instead of Wyatt? Weird. But also a little bit pretentious.

But then there's the second part where in you never ever go by Wyatton or use it in any fashion except where necessary by law. Would it then be ridiculous to change it?

It probably is. Blah. Stupid.

[stokes-wyatt]

Seems little picky, don’t ya think?

[thefinnblackwell]

It is, no, I totally agree. But what if you work in a professional industry where your name is like your calling card? There was a discussion at work today about bylines and people who don't use their legal first names. Personally I wouldn't want to be forced to use a name I don't go by ever.

[kane-asghar]

What? Why would I ever hit her? Let alone anybody. No. No, it wasn’t a fist fight. Basically I saw her a few days ago and she looked pretty upset so I asked her what was wrong. And to put the story short, she lashed out at me for not telling her about me and Blaise and how I was some kind of wedge in their relationship because he was in love with me while dating her. I told her that was bullshit because though Blaise and her didn’t work out, he did care about her. And I told her I gave her a chance, you know? I could have listened to all the shit people said about her and just avoided her. But I didn’t. I tried to be her friend until she told me to fuck off.

[thefinnblackwell]

That was a tease. I was hoping it wasn't all that serious. But I guess I was sort of wrong.  I don't understand why she's been acting the way she has lately or why she caress at a about what Blaise did or didn't feel when he was with her. I mean, listen, I know you're close to him and I'm trying to refocus my view of him for Jordan and CJ but their relationship was terrible. I guess I just don't understand.

Do you think I should talk to her about it? Figure out what might realy be going on?

[thefinnblackwell]

( SMS ; Noah and Finn )

Noah: Well this is a problem. You're out and I'm broke.

Finn: Sounds like your problem. I've got plenty cash.

[thefinnblackwell]

Is it stupid to legally change your name if the one you were given at birth is just a little bit ugly? I'm asking for science.