Nevertheless The Turtle Moves

I am made of blue sky and hard rock and I will live this way forever

[okwhotookmyusername]

Excellent suggestions phone

[evilwizard]

op are you by any chance a dracula

[libraford]

Some birds have decided to nest in the insulation foam in our hangar at work. Me and the foreman are discussing how to handle the problem.

Foreman: I think its time go shoot them down.

Me: I think id prefer a different method

Foreman: just because youre a birdwatcher doesnt mean you have to be a softie about it.

Me: no, I mean I can see holes in the roof where someone tried that before and missed.

[thefollower17]

I know that Reacher Gilt is described as a a pirate and I've seen the made for TV movie, but sometimes I can't help but picture him like Governor Ratcliffe from Pocahontas.

[fagcrisis]

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

[maryoliveoil]

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

[moghedien]

One like nitpick thing that drives me crazy is when people call Blue Whales the largest whales or the largest living mammals or some shit like that

Because yes that is true. But when you frame it like that you are completely disregarding the absolutely batshit reality that Blue Whales are the largest animals that have ever existed on earth through the entire history of the planet and they are alive right now today

[thefollower17]

If my face wasn't plastered all over Dolly Parton's internet, y'all would see a lot more of my tits.

[thefollower17]

The way that Sheriff Wydell says "Baby girl" in The Devil's Rejects makes feel ~something~

[thefollower17]

I think it's time for a rewatch

[loveridden1999]

[loveridden1999]

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

[thebibliosphere]

I need to send a "per your last email" email because the person I'm dealing with gave me conflicting information and is now trying to make me the problem.

They even had the audacity to screenshot their own email, so I've screenshot their most recent email in the same email thread that counters that other email, and now I'm trying to find a professional way to say, "this you?"

Fun times.

[ms-demeanor]

"My apologies, I was under the impression that we were moving forward on the information here [include most recent screenshot] - is that incorrect? Please clarify which is most accurate."

[whitepeopletwitter]

[blanketfortarchitect]

[rebloggingistheenemy]

[inviernodel95]

Thank you. I hope everybody thinks this

[ozempicofficial]

[thefollower17]

Should I bleach my brows again?

[disorientation]

Having a "stupider people have done this" attitude about the things you want to do can open so many doors

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[halles-comet]

some people really do live in a totally different reality than us

[thefollower17]

I specifically need more southern Americans to read Sir Terry Pratchett. I need someone else to talk about it with besides myself.

[theconcealedweapon]

[maarvarq]

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

[theconcealedweapon]

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

[tiny-space-whale]

No but like literally, actually. All bits aside.

He didn't do it.

The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.

Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?

From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.