hollow bones

musings for @thefoolreversed.

[thefoolrewritten]

2:54 AM.

I lay in his bed, shaking as your name falls from my lips like a bad omen.

I lay in his bed, startling him awake with my screams and my thrashing.

This shouldn’t be happening.

I shouldn’t be going to someone who isn’t you, for my comfort. I should be crawling in to your arms, breathing in your scent of toothpaste and chocolate.

Though all i can smell is cigars and light cologne.

I feel sick to my stomach at the thought that i am afraid of you. I shouldn’t be afraid of you, no, i should be able to see you as protection.

But now you’re gone.

Nowhere to be seen.

All i can feel is strong arms around me though i feel so out of place.

I wish I could feel safe with you. I wish that you were here at all.

[thefoolrewritten]

“Even your scent makes me feel like I’m that angry little boy again, pushing you around and screaming your name like it was the most disgusting thing I had tasted — now I scream it like it’s the scariest.”

—I’d prefer the prior.

[thefoolrewritten]

“How many times do i have to rip myself apart at the memory of you ripping me apart?”

— infinite, if that’s what it takes.

[thefoolrewritten]

“Death speaks to me in a thousand tongues, though every word she says translates to ‘I don’t need you’.”

——Mother knows best.

[thefoolrewritten]

Tomethius, after hearing about Pietro’s scars: “it’s okay, you don’t have to show me. I understand”

Ten minutes later: SCRATCH THAt get naked

[thefoolrewritten]

“Trust is a petty thing, used by people to store false hopes and thoughts into your head. Love isn’t real. Trust is a scam. Don’t throw away your independence.”

—Don’t do what I did.

[thefoolrewritten]

“Fools gold, just as shiny, just as beautiful as normal gold. Though worth nothing. Remind you of someone?”

——Because it reminds me of myself.

[thefoolrewritten]

“How on earth did you think, that I— a lonely boy, not capable of taking care of my own god damn self—could take care of you?”

—i want to, but I’m not strong enough for the both of us.

[sirgawin]

Florence + The Machine // Hunger

[thefoolrewritten]

“Rip me apart. Tear the flesh off of my bones. Pull out each and every strand of hair from my body. Eat me alive.”

—— Hurt me. I crave it.

[thefoolrewritten]

“Like a plague, you infected my thoughts. Every day activities became an ode to you.”

——wearing me down until i couldn’t so much as walk on my own.

[thefoolrewritten]

“Banishing you from my thoughts was like ripping away a piece of myself. Painful, gruesome, necessary.”

—pain is sometimes mandatory.