The Graduation Grind

welcome to the interworkings of my mind. this is my daily entry to my life surving my last year of high school

[rilaya-land]

Hey bro you are aware that Michael Jacobs himself said the show is about Riley AND Maya not just riley. The GIRL in girl meets work is for both Riley and Maya

Listen to me, I DON’T CARE that Michael said they’re both a girl meeting the world. I DO NOT CARE. That is not the point!

THAT IS NOT THE FUCKING POINT!

The show exists because Riley Matthews was born. Just like Boy Meets World existed in Cory being born! Yes, Eric (and Shawn) were also meeting the world, but the show was specifically about a middle child and how a middle child sees things! That is what POV is for! That’s what a main character is for. This is NOT Friends! You wanna watch Friends, watch Friends. But this is a show that is subjective and seen through the lens of an eldest child, a child born in late-late 2001, the daughter of a teacher and a lawyer. That’s why “Girl Meets Cory & Topanga” exists, that’s why “Hurricane” exists (because Cory and Riley schemed together), that’s why “Belief” exists, that’s why “Boy” exists!!!—you know, the episode that brought the show past the pilot. Maya did not even own smartphone so doing the episode with a focus on her would have made no sense. “Secret Of Life”, well, Maya already knows what it’s like to be bad, so why write it? “The Real World”? Well, Maya already knows about the angels and devils…so why do it? “Home for the Holidays” - Oh, yeah, Maya and Shawn hit it off almost immediately. Do you understand what I’m saying? That it’s ridiculous to put Maya on the same chair as Riley? That the show doesn’t make any sense when you do that? The lessons are then useless. 

Yes, Maya is also meeting the world…But she is NOT Riley.

For example, there are 4 wizards in Disney’s Wizards Of Waverley Place. Only 1 meant the most. Never did I see people complaining “It’s WizardS! Where is Justin and Max!?? #MaxDeservesBetter boohoo!”. << Here was an instance where people could have bitched their faces off about so much focus being on one character when the show’s name suggested an ensemble. But it was very understood that the show was about the daughter and not so much the sons. So why don’t people understand that Girl Meets World is about the daughter of Cory & Topanga? Why is there drama starting every time that Riley is on screen? Why does Maya deserve “more” (whatever that means for someone who isn’t the lead or the kind of character that is underrepresented in mainstream media.)

Now onto this fucking topic! Christ on the cross, why is it when young mixed/poc actress gets a show, she has to share the stage? Why? Do you know how bizarre it is to me that Disney’s Shake It Up dance show has two poc on the cast who knew how the dance at the time of their audience and yet…

B*lla Thorne is the poster girl and there goes Zendaya with Blanchard Floating Head Syndrome.

Also known as Massey Floating Head Syndrome

My point is: Look! Rowan’s WHOLE BODY. ROWAN POSING LIKE A BOSS WITH HER STARRING TITLE!

Can she and her little fans with their “weird” noses, “bad” eyebrows and “unpretty” complexions (quotes from THIS FANDOM) just have this?! Can you just LEAVE Rowan alone!? Can you let her be the star of her show? Let her keep the title she has at every taping: “The Girl of Girl Meets World!”. She earned it. She and Sabrina both read for it and they chose her. Let her stand downcenter and let it MEAN SOMETHING for her …Instead of being a big jerk singsonging, “Well, one time Michael saaaiidd…” 

What you’re implying imo is Rowan’s not THAT special and she should share the one of the few bones she was thrown with Sabrina…someone who has a record deal, sold tens of thousands of records, has music awards, has a spread in Nation Alist. Why in the world should Rowan or anyone pretend she’s a lead on a certain TV show when she isn’t? She legally and officially is not. But people like yourself are forever acting like she/her character is disadvantaged when the writers pretty much cater to her every desire and everyone loves her. But, like, every week it’s “Michael casually said both girls and you’re saying one girl!!!!111 #JUSTICE4MAYA 😔😭”. What I’m hearing is the equivalent of when someone posts “[insert girl] is so beautiful” and some loser starts a thread “no no ALL GIRLS”. That’s how dumb and selfish it is. Like why are y’all being so thirsty? Doesn’t Maya/Sabrina have a fruitful career, multiple episodes focused on her and tons of promo? Why does she needs Rowan’s too? Let it go! be happy for Rowan and shut up!

@disney this is what happens when you give children 11 cupcakes time after time…they start asking why the pan isn’t full…

[thisbeingcanmove-mountains-blog]

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS POST FOR ALL OF MY LIIFFEEE OH MY GODDD!! @rucaslovingxx GIRL, BE BLESSED WHEN YOU READ THIS MASTERPIECE!

[josiexarchie]

Honestly tho

[thefoxyelephant-blog]

Day 5: Nope

So I totally forgot about blogging today, but overall my day was fairly shitty. I'll get more into it in my weekend update tomorrow morning. I'm too tired to create any more comprehensive thoughts. Peace

[thefoxyelephant-blog]

Day 4: The Green Monster

It seems I can only blog after 11pm, which is probably not very good for my sleep schedule. My classes have gotten sufficiently better, I’m content with the people, I like my subject matter, I still kind of wish I had a spare, but other than that I don’t really have any complaints today about the actual school work. My issue of the day: sensitivity/insenstivity. Now I’m a giant fucking sap and can be extremely emotional, hence my anonymous blogging in order to unleash my tidal wave of daily negative emotion. Well it seems that no one else understands that I can, in fact be unhappy with a situation but am too polite or quiet to say. Can you guess what I’m getting at? If you guessed Bex and New Guy you would be correct! Give yourself a cookie. She got his number and snapchat today, and yet is still too nervous to look at him, or send him a selfie. I’m getting incredibly jealous, and am afraid I might be catching feelings. Like real ones. Not the ones Bex has which is “everything he does is cute and he’s so hot, so I’m going to use him to get to Hunter and maybe sleep with him along the way”, but actual feelings. Luckily, I’m in a class with New Guy,  without Mickey and Minnie (my loving name for a couple who is adamantly setting them up, or Bex. Well, maybe not luckily, as I find everything he does attractive. He has smart opinions, his voice sounds like what I can only describe as a pool of honey, and something that matters to me that no one else understands is, HE’S WELL READ. He reads the classics. Today he was discussing with our teacher Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations, and I nearly melted into a puddle on the floor. I told Bex and she had no idea what I was talking about of course. Bex is also smart, even though I paint her as a conceited idiot, but she has no interest in whether he reads or plays the piano or is really freaking good at riddles. This fact I also found out today in our English class we are all in. I’m better of course, but he’s alright lol. I’m just afraid that I’ll fall in too deep when Bex is the one he’s into at the moment. I also have this theory, that because Bex is currently on her period, she’s only really interested in New Guy because she’s horny and desperate. By Monday she’ll go back to solely Hunter and I may live in peace, but until then all I can think about is New Guy and how no one else can never know how I feel. I hate keeping secrets, but I guess this time it’s better to save a little face. If she gave him up for me I wouldn’t even know what to do..... I don’t know. Anyways, I’m going to be taking weekends off from blogging, mostly because I don’t have WiFi, but also because this is mostly about my school life. And being a senior. And according to my current theme, boys. I’ll post a weekend update early Monday. Have a good weekend my little mockingbirds! *mwaah blows kiss* Peace

[thefoxyelephant-blog]

Day 3: Living in a Romcom

I'm going to keep today's entry short and sweet as 1) I'm going to bed and 2) I have to type this on my phone tonight. All of the drama between Bex and Hunter and New Guy has thickened and I believe if I heard correctly that New Guy is planning on getting Bex's number tomorrow. I'm very salty. Still, I'm going to be supportive because both her and I know she's only using him to get to Hunter. Not as much of an existential crisis today, I actually ate with friends and my classes were good. All of my energy has been focused into boys this evening, and I'm trying to contain my blooming crush on New Guy before I train wreck. At least after tomorrow I'll get a two day reprieve because of the weekend. I haven't decided whether or not I'm going to blog on the weekend, maybe not. Who knows? I also finally saw Matt in the halls today, and he wouldn't even look at me, so that was fucking awesome. I'm just hoping I don't go boy crazy before the first week is even over haha! Whatever, at least they give me something to dream about. Peace

[thefoxyelephant-blog]

Day 2: So I Ate in the Bathroom Again...

So today wasn’t totally awful. I got my homework done, because it’s the first day and I have to have SOME standards for myself, so that was a nice bonus. The idiots I was previously surrounded by have dispersed, so now I sit in a more...comfortable desk. Also, day 2 and the love drama has already begun. I’m that person who ships people in real life, and this couple is a doozy. A long history, past flirtationship, known each other since they were kids, all that good stuff. Well things are heating up again between.... Bex and Hunter, as they shall now be called. Throw in a new guy, cute returning student, and this could be a romcom for the ages. To be fair, I saw the new guy first, I’ve actually had my eye on him since I was a freshman, so we’ll see if I let Bex have him. She’s only using him to make Hunter jealous anyway. See, like I said, interesting stuff. My classes were more interesting today. The material was less trivial, the people were better and I just felt better today. Sort of. I got stood up for lunch (accidentally) so I ended up eating in a bathroom stall by myself...... not the highlight of my day obviously. I hung out with Bex tonight. She’s cool, and we’re best friends, but I don’t feel like myself. It feels like a dark cloud is hovering over my head all of the time. I’m afraid to speak in class, I feel like my old friends hate me even though we haven’t spoken, and that I’m destined to be alone anyways so it’s better to cut myself off than be rejected. I don’t know, maybe I should see my counsellor. We’ll see. I haven’t picked a new name for New Guy yet, I like his real name, and I’m kind of apprehensive to see where this goes. Gah I’m frazzled. Well, time to go dream the loneliness away. Peace 

[thefoxyelephant-blog]

Day 1: Entering the Lion’s Den

A little forward about me: I’m a cis white female, honor roll student (most of the time) in a school where the population is only about 800. So yeah, my life’s pretty good, but it doesn’t mean I won’t complain about my hardships to strangers who may come across this on the internet. All names will be false, obviously. With that being said: let’s jump in

I walk to school. Every day without fail I take the same path to and from my high school, it’s familiar, but I still get the same rush of terror as I enter the school property that someone is going to laugh at me. For no reason. Today was no different, other than I was running late on my first day so I didn’t have enough time to gave a fuck about what the stoners and smokers guarding the entrance thought. (Not my thing, and most of them are nice, but we’ve got some real assholes at my school, so I’m a bit prejudiced). My main fear for this school year wasn’t the work, and it wasn’t the impending doom I fondly call my future, it was seeing everyone I had cut myself off from when summer began. I used to have a fairly large friend pool, a lot of friends from different cliques and then one main group I hung out with. Now I was down to 3. Barely. Make it two, because one of them I rarely see because she’s an introvert and doesn’t leave her house. I used to have a particular group of people I had been close with since 9th grade but after I royally fucked up one of my friendships, I kind of lost touch with all of them. Now we’re back to basics, even if it is on thin ice,but at least they’re there. But, there was still one friendship I had yet to mend, his name is Matt. I really had a thing for Matt. One of the hottest guys in my grade, also an athlete, and a nerd and an asshole, which for some reason I’m into. Him and I were super close since 10th grade around new years, and the beginning of grade eleven was amazing because we spoke all the time. Until we didn’t. He stopped talking to me in March after I lost touch with our other friends, but he’s the only one who has still frozen me out, when I did nothing to him. Now, I’m pretty much over him, and I’m happy for him and his girlfriend of 6+ months, but he was the person I was most afraid to see today. SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING BUT HE’S GONNA COME UP A LOT SO YOU SHOULD KNOW. My classes were meh, surrounded by friends I’d lost touch with, and popular kids who ignored my existence. It was my first day, and I ate lunch in a hidden stairwell by myself. Great fucking start! I got homework on the first day, that was fun. I’ve been having a generally terrible day, even though essentially nothing has gone wrong. I want to be outgoing, I want to have a lot of friends, and I want to speak up in class. I have lot to say, I’m just afraid no one will listen. I keep my head down in the halls, when I’d love to say hi to people, I eat alone because I’m afraid the kids in the cafeteria won’t want me there, and I avoid talking to Matt and his friends because I’m afraid of rejection when all I want in the world is to be his friend again. I’m becoming a shell of my former self and I hate it. Tomorrow is a new day, let’s see how it goes. I promise all of my entries won’t be this much of a sob story, it’s just been a rough day. I’m going to watch some Gilmore Girls. Peace