Reading a story you wrote when you were 13 is something that makes you realise that there was always something weird and lonely about you. Mostly weird.
synopsis: he's sulking because you bought something and paid for it without his knowledge while you were out with him.
—————
he was quiet. too quiet, and unusually so. you could normally tell if he was in the same vicinity. he would make sure of it. seokmin would either be belting his vocals and singing his lungs out, or laugh at something, or even move around and make his presence known. but ever since the two of you got back from your grocery run/date, he'd been awfully silent. you couldn't even tell if he was still at home or if he had left and you forgot.
you got up from your spot on the sofa and crept around the house to look for your fiancé. you tried to recall if he had left after the two of you put away your groceries as you looked for him in every room. your place was dead silent, you were convinced he wasn’t home.
“minnie?” you tried calling out for him.
as if on cue, the curtains of your room swayed from one side to another, revealing his familiar frame behind them. no wonder you couldn’t hear him. he was sitting at the balcony with the sliding doors closely shut. silly boy, what if he got stuck outside?
you smiled and went to tease him, but decided against it when you noticed the solemn expression he wore on his face. concern started to engulf your heart as you gently knocked on the glass. he turned his head and you took that as your cue to slide the door open.
“is something bothering you, baby?” you asked him.
you took the empty spot next to him on the bench and reached out for his hand. seokmin took your hand in his, palm over the back of yours, and brought it to his chest.
“you okay?” you tilted your head to get a good look at him.
a few heartbeats of silence passed, and then a sigh. “are you mad at me?”
you made a noise of confusion. what could you possibly be mad at him about? he was avoiding your gaze, but still held your hand close to his chest. you reached over to cup his face with your other hand and forced him to look at you.
“what happened? why do you think i’m mad at you?” you asked.
“are you?” he confirmed with you and you shook your head.
“of course not,” you reassured him. “what’s wrong?”
seokmin then pouted and looked away. your eyebrows remained furrowed, still perplexed. your fiancé was acting strange, and you wondered if he was running a fever. you put your palm on his forehead, just to check. the pout on his face became more pronounced as he let go of your hand to cross his arms and turn his whole body away from you.
is he sulking? you thought, suppressing a giggle. he turned around with so much sass you forgot you were confused for a second.
“sweetheart, what?” you placed a hand on his shoulder and tried to turn him around.
he shimmied your hand off and you gasped dramatically. you placed both hands on his shoulders and he shook them off again. you scoffed playfully and stood with your hands on your hips.
“lee seokmin,” you warned.
his shoulders tensed and he faced you with wide eyes, reaching out to grab your hands with a sheepish smile on his face.
“okay-kay-kay-kay-kay,” he repeated a few times.
seokmin pulled you towards him and you sat back down again. he pouted at you and you raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to explain. he fiddled with your fingers a little before lacing them with his. from where he was seated, he briefly glanced into the room and then turned back to you.
“what’s that on your desk?” he carefully began.
you turned to take a look and then realised what he was talking about. it was a cute duck shaped touch lamp you bought earlier at the mall while seokmin went to the washroom. you thought it was so cute and could be used as your desk lamp, so you just paid for it as soon as you saw it.
“my new lamp! why? you don’t like it? is it a bad purchase?” you asked, suddenly doubting your decision to get it.
“no, no! it’s cute,” he shook his head and immediately reassured you.
you nodded in understanding and he paused, looking down at your hands. you studied him for a little bit, wondering why he brought it up. surely, the lamp could not have been why seokmin locked himself out here so deep in thought, right?
he looked so troubled and frankly, seokmin didn’t think he had ever been this stressed in a hot minute. he tried to think of a time when you hinted you wanted anything of the sort, but his mind was drawing blanks. he wondered if he missed it when you were looking at it earlier because he was too caught up with something else.
when he found the boxed item in one of your shopping bags as the both of you were unpacking your groceries, he didn’t really bat an eye. he assumed you had put it in the shopping cart together with the rest of the items and didn’t notice it at checkout. until, he found a separate receipt from another store with the lamp listed on it.
funny duck lamp - $39.99. that was all it took for seokmin’s heart to freeze in his chest.
a gentle shake of his hand in yours snapped him out of his thoughts. he met your questioning gaze with his own gentle eyes and sighed.
“why didn’t you tell me you needed a desk lamp?” he asked.
you tilted your head, still confused. “what do you mean?”
“isn’t that why you bought it in the first place?”
you tucked your bottom lip in between your teeth. “well, yes… and no. i just thought it was cute, baby,”
seokmin continued pouting and shook his whole body like he was throwing a fit. you furrowed your eyebrows when he made disgruntled noises at you.
“baby, you paid forty dollars for that…” he whined. “… i could have bought that for you,”
“you spent like thrice of that on just our groceries, sweetheart,” you frowned. “i only paid forty for my lamp,”
he shook his head so vigorously you were worried he was going to give himself a headache.
“that doesn’t count!” he dragged out the last word. “that’s what i’m supposed to do,”
“pay for all our groceries?” you questioned, trying to stifle a giggle at his expression.
your poor fiancé looked genuinely stressed out as he nodded.
“i provide for you… that’s my job,” he declared. “please ask me to get it for you.”
despite your best efforts, you let a giggle slip. “minnie, it’s just a lamp,”
“plus, you already paid for everything else. i’d feel too bad to ask for more,”
his face dropped and seokmin got serious again. “sweetheart, have i ever made you feel that way?”
in all of his life, he had never felt so much fear. he didn’t think he could live with himself if he’d ever made you feel less than for asking him for something. he would rather go skydiving than do that to you. and one thing about seokmin, he hates heights.
the relief that coursed through him when you shook your head felt like a splash of refreshing cold water.
“you sat out here, alone in complete silence… because i paid for my own lamp?” your question came out slowly as you pieced two and two together.
seokmin pressed his lips together tightly and avoided eye contact. you sucked a breath between your teeth in an attempt to hold back a laugh.
“that… and you didn’t wait for me to open your door when we reached home,” he admitted with a pout.
you couldn’t help but pinch both his cheeks and laugh.
Once a little boy went to school.
One morning
The teacher said:
“Today we are going to make a picture.”
“Good!” thought the little boy.
He liked to make all kinds;
Lions and tigers,
Chickens and cows,
Trains and boats;
And he took out his box of crayons
And began to draw.
But the teacher said, “Wait!”
“It is not time to begin!”
And she waited until everyone looked ready.
“Now,” said the teacher,
“We are going to make flowers.”
“Good!” thought the little boy,
He liked to make beautiful ones
With his pink and orange and blue crayons.
But the teacher said “Wait!”
“And I will show you how.”
And it was red, with a green stem.
“There,” said the teacher,
“Now you may begin.”
The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower
Then he looked at his own flower.
He liked his flower better than the teacher’s
But he did not say this.
He just turned his paper over,
And made a flower like the teacher’s.
It was red, with a green stem.
On another day
The teacher said:
“Today we are going to make something with clay.”
“Good!” thought the little boy;
He liked clay.
He could make all kinds of things with clay:
Snakes and snowmen,
Elephants and mice,
Cars and trucks
And he began to pull and pinch
His ball of clay.
But the teacher said, “Wait!”
“It is not time to begin!”
And she waited until everyone looked ready.
“Now,” said the teacher,
“We are going to make a dish.”
“Good!” thought the little boy,
He liked to make dishes.
And he began to make some
That were all shapes and sizes.
But the teacher said “Wait!”
“And I will show you how.”
And she showed everyone how to make
One deep dish.
“There,” said the teacher,
“Now you may begin.”
The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish;
Then he looked at his own.
He liked his better than the teacher’s
But he did not say this.
He just rolled his clay into a big ball again
And made a dish like the teacher’s.
It was a deep dish.
And pretty soon
The little boy learned to wait,
And to watch
And to make things just like the teacher.
And pretty soon
He didn’t make things of his own anymore.
Then it happened
That the little boy and his family
Moved to another house,
In another city,
And the little boy
Had to go to another school.
The teacher said:
“Today we are going to make a picture.”
“Good!” thought the little boy.
And he waited for the teacher
To tell what to do.
But the teacher didn’t say anything.
She just walked around the room.
When she came to the little boy
She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?”
“Yes,” said the little boy.
“What are we going to make?”
“I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher.
“How shall I make it?” asked the little boy.
“Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher.
“And any color?” asked the little boy.
“Any color,” said the teacher.
And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.
I hate that I hesitated to reblog this just because I expect people to think it’s pretentious or melodramatic when it’s seriously real as fuck and I’ve witnessed it
