Iām curious if someone had to explain Meat Loaf to Greta. Iām not sure Bat Out of Hell is popular with teenagers in Sweden.Ā
I mean, how does that explanation even work?
āOkay, so there is this guy who voluntarily calls himself Meat Loaf.Ā
He was frozen on a motorcycle but then crashed through the wall and started singing. And dancing. He was better at the singing, honestly. There was a saxophone solo but I think he was lipsyncing that. Blow-syncing? There was some dry humping and ill-advised indoor motorcycle riding. And I think he was beaten to death with a pointy hammer by a goth Transylvanian.Ā
Then a girl reeeeally loved him. And she wanted him to love her till the end of time. But he reeeeally wanted to sleep on it. But she kept nagging until he relented. But it turns out they werenāt actually a great match so he prayed for an abrupt end to all existence rather than just ending the relationship.Ā
Then he liked a different girl. And I think at this point he was some kind of demon ghost on a motorcycle. Maybe? And he was all,Ā āIād do anything for love!ā and the girl was likeĀ āAnything???ā and he was like,Ā āOkay there is one ambiguous thing I wonāt do which henceforth will be referred to as āthat.āā The āthatā became so mysterious that an entire section of a Wikipedia page is dedicated to it. It was probably anal. They got on his motorcycle, rode toward the sun, and disappeared into the ghost demon realm or something.Ā
A few years go by and he developed very large breasts. Which made him a great hugger. He started punching people but couldnāt really talk about it. He also couldnāt really talk about it. The police killed him and that made the friends he punched very sad. They said his name a lot to deal with the loss.Ā
He decided conservative politics were his jam and tried singing for Mitt Romney, but his voice wasnāt like it used to be and it was very funny sad.Ā
He stopped getting better at this point.Ā
He went on a game show where aĀ narcissistic scam artist businessman pretended to fire celebrities. He ended upĀ screaming at Gary BuseyĀ for stealing his art supplies. But his supplies were actually stuck in a corner, so he almost beat Gary to death for nothing. Meaning he officially became the only person in the world to out-crazy Gary Busey.Ā
He thought that game show businessman would make a great president so he voted for and supported him. He was really mistaken about that.Ā Ā
Then he started complaining about a teenage girl trying to save the planet claiming she was brainwashed.Ā
And I think weāre all caught up.ā
āIs he a climate scientist?ā
āUhhhh.. no. No, he is not.ā
āThen why should I give aā¦ā