after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby
a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry
noise dept.
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@thegapsinmyheartbeat
after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby
a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry
This tweet lives rent-free in my head now. Hands-down the best comment about the relationship between art and artist.
I got the Top 4.47% on this English Vocabulary test
I’m in the last 47.33%
I shouldn’t have taken that test
I got top 4.82%. I’m feeling pretty self-satisfied honestly.
Top 6.20%!!!
let’s go!
I've seen a lot of posts surrounding the current white supremacists riots saying things along the lines of "oh but what are they going to do if they need a doctor or dentist or need serving in a shop" and im gonna hold your hand when I say this but people of colour/immigrants shouldn't need to offer a service to white people to be deemed acceptable in society.
Hefty Hunk, 16x20x1.5 inches oil on stretched canvas by Kenney Mencher $625
Cute bear takes a single biscuit no vandalization opens the door and leaves calmly.
Nothing could have prepared me for that guys evil laugh
early stages of friendship are Soooo embarrassing like yea sorry....... it's me again............ i enjoy talking to you and spending time with you....... you can shoot me point blank if you want i dont mind
It’s weird how everyone hating you when you’re nine years old still affects your self esteem when you’re 26 like yeah nobody came to my birthday party but that was like 17 years ago why is it stopping me from going to a gay bar
Can I please ask for your top five theories on why the Ringwraiths become so much more powerful over the course of the LotR trilogy? By the end of the books a single Ringwraith holds an army of 6000 men in paralysing dread from a height of a mile, they're dismaying hosts of men, etc. And in the beginning, they're easily defeated by "jumping behind a tree," "pretending to be in a different room," "getting on a little boat," "man with a stick on fire," etc.
hmm ok
1) their power depends on how physically close they are to sauron/mordor
2) they consciously weren’t unleashing their full power early in Fellowship bcos it didn’t seem worth it when they were just dealing w hobbits
3) they just woke up from a REALLY long nap and it takes them a while to fully come ‘online’
4) their power just waxes & wanes sometimes
5) hobbits are their One Weakness
YES okay adding more
6) they have essentially no bodily power - in addition to their sight, their abilities are also mostly derived from their mounts, so when they were on basically-dragons, one of them could force an entire military city to its knees just by flying over it; mounted on horses,they were Quite Intimidating in Bree, and eight of them gave Glorfindel a run for his money; on foot they could be defeated by Farmer Maggot's barking dog
7.) They kindly levelled up as the heroes did so it would be fair
8.) Sauron explicitly gains power throughout the series and possibly has more to share with his minions
9) the Shire exerts a dampening effect on all attempts at majesty... genius new theory in which the Ring is nearly harmless, Gandalf known mostly for his fireworks, the Witch-King of Angmar is reduced to interrupting tea parties, etc because the land is just not very magical at all
10) Bilbo wrote the first book and a half and could not resist making chase scenes into slapstick comedy, Frodo wrote the rest and didn't even bother trying to hide his moods
I'm pretty sure the wraiths were laying low because the Shire was constantly watched by the Rangers, of which there were far more than nine, each of whom was a Diet Aragorn also something something tom bombadil, yeah
I like theory 9. It also has implications on why hobbits in general have an odd take on things with no obvious purpose, aka manthoms. It becomes a giant game of hot potato to avoid getting cursed.
All of which could be attributed to the nearness of Tom ‘Anti-materialism’ Bombadil.
At the beginning of The Hobbit when Bilbo recognises Gandalf as "Gandalf who gave the Old Took a pair of diamond cufflinks that only come off when they're ordered" (and are never referenced again despite being a fairly startling item, in a universe where intelligent jewelery is something to be highly suspicious of). In the framework of theory 9, these cufflinks could be immensely powerful items - haunted, precious gems that obey the will of their owner! - who have an ENTIRE series worth of their own lore, which were recovered during the hinted-at adventure of the unrepentant Gandalf and The Remarkable Belladonna Took, and delivered to a place of perfect safekeeping, where they would never cause any problems at all. The Old Took just has magic diamonds what of it? And just like Mad Baggins became a local fairy tale and Frodo never received recognition in his homeland, we will never ever ever know what exactly happened there.
If I might suggest
11) Sauron's connection to the Ringwraiths is like wifi, and the signal in the Shire is like half a bar because it's bloody far and there are mountains in the way, and the rings at Imladris and Lothlórien (and on Gandalf) are like strings of Elven fairy lights that interfere with the wifi signal - so the Ringwraiths' awful wailing screams heard in the journey from the Shire are them unsuccessfully trying dial-up modem
Hnnnnnnng every single one of these takes is so GOOD
Galadriel: you're back early
Gandalf, loading gun: bag end is a Faraday cage
Reblogging to link
I love the idea that the Shire is full of random magical objects that have been reduced to junk by the anti-magic lands, now passed around as useless mathoms.
OR the magical items are just as magical and manipulative, hobbits are Just That Resistant to corruptions.
A visitor to The Mathom-House at Michel Delving being like. sorry. Hello. Are those the lost silmarils. That mithril corselet is worth more than your national GDP. I thought the remaining four dwarf rings were eaten by dragons? Is this not historically curséd dragon treasure that has over long ages absorbed all the malice and greed of the wyrm?
And the hobbit who opens the museum for visitors is like, um, sorry, we don’t actually catalogue most of this stuff apart from noting who left it here, it’s mostly just here to avoid the political difficulties inherent in regifting birthday presents on too short a cycle? Like people get mad if they instantly get back the same present they gave, or if one appears too many years in a row.
The visitor, nodding goes: Is that a fucking palantir
- oh the garden sphere. nobody likes getting that one. It looks like a nice garden sphere but it screams when birds land on it. Do you want it
@elodieunderglass excuse you the "garden sphere" ? It looks like "a nice garden sphere" ? Are you saying there are more ? Have hobbits been using the lost palantirs as quaint garden decor ?
Is ... Is Denethor confused by the many visuals of carefully manicured lawns and flower beds (and the occasional plentiful picnic) that come up when he's trying to win his staring contest with a litteral lidless eye of fire ?
Is that why Saruman went evil and attacked the Shire later ? A terminal case of garden envy ?
well um. look. what are you a shirrif come back with a warrant
its been p common knowledge for decades that light pollution can be massively reduced by just putting shades on streetlamps, and that doing that would save energy, help wildlife, and let us see the stars better, but are society says if u wanna change any minor little tiny thing u gotta dedicate ur whole life to campaigning for it and this is a good ways down the list of priorities for most ppl, so instead i gotta walk past newly-installed streetlamps that are just dumb glass globes that use half their electricity to blast half their light directly into the sky where it does only bad things for no reason and think "we should overthrow the government"
☆2024 Pride Celebration☆ Day 6: Favorite LGBTQIA+ Media [2/10] ⤷Sense8 (2015-2018)
So there are some perks to living in a tourist destination. There are a lot of detractors mostly that you cannot shoot the tourists because you rely on them for your income but you have a semi captive audience with no context for any of the bullshit you spew. You can tell these people anything and they will believe you, the trusted friendly local. Now this is a very much Spider-Man situation where Great Power begets Great Audacity and even worse Responsibility.
My buddy goes on a run and when hes done there is a bar near a creek. So he wades into the creek because the day is hot and the water is cold.
Tourists ask what hes up to, with his running stuff he didn't want wet piled on the shore and him very obviously cooling off in the water. He says he's fishing.
But now here is why I am telling you this story. The universe occasionally aligns in such a way that we get to really really fuck with people and their perception of said universe. The opportunities do not come often and when they come you must seize the day. This is what my buddy did.
So this Creek runs through town and as a result of the highway and neighborhoods and culverts and roads it does not have a great salmon run. It's a short Creek the headwaters are only a few miles from the ocean it never had a great salmon run to begin with. But there are salmon.
One such fish brushes past my buddy's leg. Immediately he knees the fish like he is juggling a soccer ball and pops it out of the water, then slaps it out of the air on to the shore.
This is dumb luck. He could not do this again if he spent years training. Noodling (catching fish with your hands) is a thing that is legal to do with salmon but it is so much harder than literally every other way to catch salmon, including grabbing them with a garbage can. What he just managed is the kind of thing that should make you want to grab the fish and swing it around your head like a stripper with her panties off.
But,
He has an audience.
This is the opportunity offered by the universe.
He plays it cool.
He puts on dead pan straight face on and wades up to shore to grab his fish and nod to the tourists. Someone asks something and he assures them this is the standard way to get a quick dinner here. The tour guide has caught up with his group. He looks at my buddy and his fish and the general lack of fishing accoutrement. Without missing a beat, the guide backs up every ounce of bullshit out of my buddys mouth because if there is one true fraternity it is locals bullshitting stupid tourists.
told my cabbie for the 3am airport trip that I was feeling a bit nauseous and he immediately took my bag away from me and said "Trip to the airport is 12 dollars. I'll drive slow." and then he did-- no fast corners, very gentle stops at the lights. and I was willing to pay the extra few dollars for it, but when the meter hit $12 he clicked stop and let me ride the rest of the way free. and it might just be the insanity of waking up at 2:30 after 4 hours of sleep but I was really emotional about it. Like ok Mr Sandeep, the world is still good actually.