I hate the red bubble on apps.

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@theghostofmae
I hate the red bubble on apps.
I like being lesbian. women
you are so real for that fish
free affirmations for anyone who would like them
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE INVENTION OF LESBIAN SEX
When I was a kid one of my moms would call her period "moon time" or "her monthlies" or shit like that and my other mom straight up stealthed it, but when I'm a dad I think I'm gonna go straight down the middle and call it Werewolf Week. Like sorry kids, dad can't roughouse right now, it's Werewolf Week
"one of my moms"
*points finger*
child of lesbiabs
I actually have six parents and three moms total but they're all straight as far as I'm aware
Polyamorous parents or divorce?
Turbo divorce
What the heck is a turbo divorce?
It's when you end up with six parents
2024 MANDATE
Do NOT. Do not. DO NOT buy fake leather
Pirate everything. Burn cds. Fight the cloud
PHYSICAL MEDIA
Tip food service workers crazy style
Smile at yr bus driver
Wear more eyeliner
Read superhero comic books
Paint more blood and gore
See saw xi in theaters
DIY OR DIE
Draw messy
LIVE MUSIC
remember that old panic at the disco is good truly
Tell people you love them
Stompy boots
My Chemical Romance
Assault a customer at your retail job
Write that weird fanfic
Watch every vampire movie ever made
Wear that crop top
Start a fire
Listen to music made by angry women
Remember that you are fucking alive and do whatever you want
Remember that you
are fucking alive and do
whatever you want
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
You bring him to a party with a vibe pushed deep into his cunt, and pass the remote around.
He spends most of the first half-hour clinging to your arm, whining and shuddering, sometimes squealing when someone cruel turns the vibe up particularly hard. But it’s never enough to make him come - you made sure of that. It just makes him writhe, and whimper, and leak so much that you have to scold him for dribbling on the host’s clean floor.
Surely the mess deserves a punishment, you say loudly, but you’ll give him a chance. If he can guess who has the remote now, you’ll give his poor wet cunt a rest: he can have the remote for the rest of the night.
If he can’t, he'll be punished, and doubly so for squandering the chance you gave him.
He shakes as the crowd gathers around to leer, their hands hidden in their pockets or behind their backs, and the vibe still buzzes relentlessly, melting his mind. Anyone could have the remote, and he knows better than to keep you waiting - he finally points at a man with a crueler smile than most, who seems to be moving his hand almost in time to the pulsing of the vibe.
He’s wrong, of course. The crowd cheers.
His punishment is an orgasm, on his hands and knees before the crowd, fucking himself back on your fingers. The humiliation brings tears to his eyes, and your fingertips jolt the vibe still inside him with each stroke, but the climax after being teased so long is almost a relief.
But then the vibe buzzes back to life inside him, and now he’s even more swollen and sensitive and overwhelmed. The party’s barely started, and his real punishment has just begun.
You ask him again, with a smile: Who has the remote?
Real observations since I started wearing a wizard hat daily:
- Brim is so wide that I stay BONE DRY taking walks in the rain
- Brim can be positioned to block the sun from ever getting in my eyes AND keeping it off the back of my neck
- The pointed top part creates an air pocket, keeping my head from getting hot or squishing my hair as it might in a ball cap
- Hat can easily be pulled down over the tips of my ears without looking dumb, protecting them from wind chill
- Strangers say they like my hat, giving me the chance to tell them that I am a wizard
- When you’re wearing a wizard hat, ALL OTHER FASHION CHOICES become secondary, allowing you to branch out with style
Embrace ego death. Stay protected from all elements. Wear a wizard hat.
be careful, i have heard rumors that a gorgeous mother fucker is scrolling tumblr right fucking now
Dashboard simulator
mutual 1: I NEED elf pussy mutual 2: I NEED elf pussy mutual 3: I NEED elf pussy mutual 4: I NEED elf pussy mutual 5: I NEED elf pussy mutual 6: I NEED elf pussy mutual 7: I NEED elf pussy mutual 8: I NEED elf pussy mutual 9: I NEED elf pussy mutual 10: I NEED elf pussy mutual 11: I NEED elf pussy mutual 12: I NEED elf pussy mutual 13: I NEED elf pussy mutual 14: I NEED elf pussy mutual 15: I NEED elf pussy mutual 16: I NEED elf pussy mutual 17: I NEED elf pussy mutual 18: I NEED elf pussy mutual 19: I NEED elf pussy mutual 20: I NEED elf pussy mutual 21: I NEED elf pussy mutual 22: I NEED elf pussy mutual 23: I NEED elf pussy mutual 24: I NEED elf pussy mutual 25: I NEED elf pussy mutual 26: I NEED elf pussy mutual 27: I NEED elf pussy mutual 28: I NEED elf pussy mutual 29: I NEED elf pussy mutual 30: I NEED elf pussy mutual 31: I NEED elf pussy mutual 32: I NEED elf pussy mutual 33: I NEED elf pussy mutual 34: I NEED elf pussy mutual 35: I NEED elf pussy mutual 36: I NEED elf pussy mutual 37: I NEED elf pussy mutual 38: I NEED elf pussy mutual 39: I NEED elf pussy mutual 40: I NEED elf pussy mutual 41: I NEED elf pussy mutual 42: I NEED elf pussy mutual 43: I NEED elf pussy mutual 44: I NEED elf pussy mutual 45: I NEED elf pussy mutual 46: I NEED elf pussy mutual 47: I NEED elf pussy mutual 48: I NEED elf pussy mutual 49: I NEED elf pussy
I want a cock thrusting in and out of my pussy with a vibrator on my clit for hours and hours until my mind is all fuzzy and my drool dripping down to my tits just unable to think about anything :(
i love creampies and the *idea* of breeding, fucking your cum deeper and deeper and plugging them up to make sure it stays there, however fuck them kids
Yes she did just cum to the absolute most disgusting disturbing porn 5 minutes ago
yes she is now sitting in bed eating chicken nuggets and watching her favorite show
one of these days i neeeed to wake up to my pussy already stretched around someone's cock, still half asleep but im already shoving myself back to meet their thrusts, moaning into my pillow as they they keep fucking me without even acknowledging im awake bc it's not about my pleasure, im just their little fucktoy....
I'm kind of nervous can someone please say it'll be okay
Lord help me. I've been given three manageable tasks. all at once
We're having adult recess. Where are you running first
the tire swing
the regular swings
the slide
the jungle gym
the basketball court
the area of dirt and grass for contact sports
by the metal fence
the sea saw
other area (explain in the tags)
I'd rather stay inside for recess
I got in trouble so I have to stay inside
the wooden castle