𝔤𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔩 @theghoulofme - Tumblr Blog

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my pics // text posts

i managed to answer texts that have taken me a week to get to. im trying to plan a meet up with a friend i havent seen since probably 7 years ago. her parents still live near here so when she comes to visit them she'd hopefully also be able to come to meet me. mostly im glad to have the types of friends who stay even after years of completely no contact. three of my friends ive known since first grade so i guess the long history might have something to do with it

#✧#still have a couple texts that i need to answer to #its always such a neverending task #could we go back to pigeons and letters please #this digital world is sometimes way too fast paced

i did go and scroll on my snapchat to find when i got my electric wheelchair. my snapchat memories are pretty much all just me becoming more severe. back when i started to be able to use my phone a bit after becoming very severe from covid i started to just take random photos or videos of me laying in bed. this was when i had gotten out of the worst of my cycle of constant crashing and started to tolerate light again so i would lay on my bed or my parents sofa with sunglasses just looking outside and watching the seasons pass. our dog had started licking all the skin she could reach on me which she never did before i got covid so im honestly wondering what she was smelling cause it was something she'd never done before to anyone. it was pretty comforting back then though since i could barely move and couldn't have anything to entertain myself other than my thoughts and occasionally staring at the trees.

#ive had my electric wheelchair for just over 3 years now #two videos pretty close to each other where i could slightly see it and the chair changed between so i have a pretty good picture of when #just weird i never took a picture of my new one and just let it pass seemingly without notice #though i guess back then i could barely use the chair so maybe its understandable #✧#back then i could barely write so snapchat was a convenient way to keep a bit of a diary #though now all of those are going to be deleted soon so i really need to back them up somewhere

ratcity

The OBSESSION with identity is so crazy like the view that when you do something it immediately becomes part of your identity and all the parts of you have to click together to become “person who wakes up early” or “person who reads” no you can literally just do something without restructuring your whole performance of personhood around it. I don’t know what to tell you except that you will never be able to have an entirely unfractured view of yourself or that you will be able to rationalize all the complex parts of yourself into the phrase “person who x” like you should just be doing things without performing them. Or aestheticizing them. Just try different things on and keep what works for you. Otherwise you will never learn and grow!

sh1fr4

sorry my hands are so cold all the time it's cuz i died a few years back

witchrealms

(x)

hello? anyone here?

#why is this place so quiet tonight #i feel like im talking to the void #✧

austaylian

I feel like a lot of you would be much happier if you just lived authentically and stopped judging everything for everyone you deem cringe or childish or just not to your taste

netego

西游朽

i have my doctors appointment (or well video call) tomorrow. ive been writing a whole list of all my meds and the history of my chronic illnesses etc for the past hour. had to do a lot of digging to find the years for stuff. time blends together so bad when you are sick and years mean absolutely nothing so it feels impossible to place things

#✧

jonahinthebellyofawhale

i am actually kind of glad ive never deleted any whatsapp data. i can read so many conversations from so many years back. like just now i was reading my texts with my mum from 2016 onward. it was fun seeing how life used to be