"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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Not today Justin
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The Stonewall Inn
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izzy's playlists!
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Andulka
Xuebing Du
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Love Begins
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@thegirlwillbeokay
Okay, so from here going forward and especially tomorrow will be a good day. I will be productive and it will be a good day. I am speaking it into existence and I am typing it into existence.
Tomorrow will be a good day and I will be amazing. I will work hard and everything will be good.
Everything will be sorted. Everything will be fine.
I will have a good day. Tomorrow will be a good day.
I just feel so incredibly depressed right now, I’m working my butt off trying my hardest and still not getting anywhere. I’m volunteering at two places but still can’t find paid work. My other internship is shitting itself and I’m stressed as shit. I feel like everything is just my fault and I just feel completely awful and just want to do meaningful work but it all feels like bullshit no matter what I do or how hard I try. It’s honestly so fucking shit and I feel awful. I don’t want to feel awful I want to do well this semester and scholarship but I just feel shit and horrible and just want to do well. I just want to do well.
nothing like my dad calling me a piece of shit to ruin my mood because apparently the “effort” I put in to seeing my friends for the first time since april last night should be spent finding a job which is virtually impossible at the moment considering I volunteer at two museums and am doing another unpaid internship next semester. Like, show me where I’m not trying to get a job? is it all the rejection emails? is it the fact that I consistently beat myself up for being unemployed? like? show me where I’m not trying hard enough
doesn’t matter either that he and my mum got my brothers their jobs, but the fact that I am busting my gut consistently just never factors in
nothing like my dad calling me a piece of shit to ruin my mood because apparently the “effort” I put in to seeing my friends for the first time since april last night should be spent finding a job which is virtually impossible at the moment considering I volunteer at two museums and am doing another unpaid internship next semester. Like, show me where I’m not trying to get a job? is it all the rejection emails? is it the fact that I consistently beat myself up for being unemployed? like? show me where I’m not trying hard enough
good morning my fellow bastards of monday
that’s the spirit!
God I really want to relapse so bad right now but I know I can’t.
God I just completely feel like shit right now. I feel like this next assignment that I submit is going to be the thing that costs me my scholarship at the end of the year and that is absolutely making me break down and cry my eyes out. I’m so completely fried and upset. I honestly feel like shit.
I feel so self destructive and my friends and my boyfriend are being so nice, but I just feel like I’m completely breaking down. Like, I just want to cry every five minutes and it’s really getting to me right now.
hi, I feel really not great because I feel like my partner’s friends don’t like me and I feel like that puts a lot of pressure on us. Like, they don’t even know me, it’s just because of some stuff that happened last year.
Also, I’m having trouble at uni again and it just feels a bit hopeless, like, I’m having a lot of self doubt and dealing with trauma again and I just feel like one day my wonderful, amazing partner is going to wake up and realise I’m not worth it :(
it just feels like any time we get to a point where we’re happy and settled I fuck something up :( I just want to be better for him and be the person he deserves because he deserves the world and I feel like he feels caught in the middle.
he is truly the most loving, kind, compassionate, sweet, funny, smart person and I just hope I can show him that everyday and get away from all my stupid trauma and sadness
i love him
I think I’ve figured out the route of my current anxious ptsd bout and it’s who I’m living with and my fear of them. I have had anxiety attacks and broken down numerous times and it’s affecting my relationship, my sleep, and my work and as much as I’ve tried processing it’s been hard; being constantly around the danger of being hurt often is.
But today I’ve been journaling, cooking, working on essays, and cuddling with my new puppy, so hopefully that counts for something.
This has been a trough and a hurdle but I will get better and I won’t let it ruin the amazing things I have in my life right now.
what up I miss my bf and it’s only been 48 hours but I miiiIIIiiIIIisss HIIIM. I just love him so much :(
no matter what! keep choosing recovery!
One of my professors who I’m really close with just sent me a job to apply for but it’s full time and she’s really recommending it, but I’m just about to start masters full time and that’s a lot.
I don’t know what to do.
Follow for more x
“Abusing others is never on accident. You make a conscious choice to treat others with loving care, and you can trust I’ll always show you kindness.”
s.s. (stephenstilwell)
