Heartbreak and Healing

[thegirlyoualwaysloved]

The closest I have ever been to love is when writing about you

#love #writing

[thegirlyoualwaysloved]

Reincarnation

I did not believe in reincarnations. Until, our live died. And my poetry was born.

[thegirlyoualwaysloved]

Scars and Promises

She wore her scars, and looked as best as she could. He made her comfortable and removed them one by one. She stood bare in front of him. He kissed her naked soul and tattooed a promise on her skin.

[thegirlyoualwaysloved]

Obsession

Do not love him madly or have an obsession. Just love him enough so that every night he wakes up to adjust your blanket when you are fast asleep.

[thegirlyoualwaysloved]

Little lies

The worst thing you can do to a person is to tell them that you love them and never mean it.

[thegirlyoualwaysloved]

Fragrance

"He loves me... he loves me not.... ! ", she plucked the last rose petal from the receptacle of the flower in her hand. She crushed the last sign of hope beneath her palms where her destiny had been firmly etched. The love had died long ago. But the fragrance still remained..

[thegirlyoualwaysloved]

The Affair

'But it's just a date', her phone popped out with a new whatsapp message.

'But I am married with a five year old daughter. I cannot do this!', her fingers trembled as she replied to the top most contact on her chat list.

She waited for him to reply. As much as she did not want to go, so much her heart wanted to. He had been asking her out from a couple of days and each time she had put down the offer either on pretext of her in-laws at home or her daughter being unwell. He worked five buildings away and even a plea for a quick coffee was always put down against an important client meeting.

Her heart paced faster rhythmic with the needles of the clock in her cabin. She was done for the day and had enough time for a date. She would call in at home and request her mother to look after her daughter. Her husband would not bother anyway.

She looked at herself in the mirror. 9 years into marriage had not just drained the youth out of her but the romance as well. She looked weary, even her makeup was unable to conceal her draining zeal for life. She had put on weight and her once rosy cheeks were now just a lump of muscles. Was this the reason why she felt so low on confidence. Was this the reason why she thought her husband was losing interest in her and prioritizing his work life. She was lost in thoughts when her phone beeped again.

"But it's just a date. Nothing more. Nothing less. And you know we both need this!", the message this time was followed by a wink.

"It's just a date", was just a myth. She had lost track of the number of times he had told her that during their college days which were followed by starlit nights engulfed with love and passion. She knew his marriage was also dry from a romance he longed for. What else would happen if his wife was always looking after their five year old daughter and dedicating the rest of her time to PowerPoint presentations and excel sheets. She knew both of them deserved more from life. Just like the life they had imagined during their college days. And this was not wrong. After all, it would just be a date.

"Done. It better be my favourite Chinese restaurant", she replied. Her message ended with a red heart this time. She had not done that in a while now, and her cheeks flushed deep red. It was as if the youth in her had been revived.

"And you better ask your mother to look after our daughter meanwhile! I love you", her phone beeped again.

#microtales #love

[thegirlyoualwaysloved]

Pretend

You fell in love with the person I was and not the person I was pretending to be!

[thegirlyoualwaysloved]

Approval

'Why would we need her approval?', she asked he parked his car in front of his home.

'Cause it matters. And her judgement never has gone wrong!', he said as he remembered various instances in life where her judgement always proved right. Especially when it came to people.

She had disapproved of his college friends, and he had ignored her warnings. They were caught stealing from his house. She had disapproved of their new neighbours and for a fact he knew they still used their wi-fi password. He relied on her assessment, especially when it came to choosing his life partner.

This side of him for her was weird. They were a modern day couple and despite the differences they shared, they were together, never being influenced by others' opinions about each other.

They were unaffected by 'He is too rude' or 'She is not that preety' or 'You will find someone better'. They had dated for four years and decided to get married. Only when he said she needs to be 'approved' by someone who mattered to him.

At first she was taken aback. But then, this was who he was. He valued the opinions of those he loved. That meant, in the future he would value her opinions too, if they got married. And that was a relief for her.

'What if she doesn't like me?', she asked powdering her face and applying a layer of gloss.

'Then, I have to break your heart!', he said seriously.

'And mind you, she can see right through your make up and layers of designer apparel!', he joked.

They got from his car. She was tensed, but she believed that there was no farce in her being. She loved him unconditionally, and if she could see through, she would! She regretted the fact that she did not stop to get something for her. He had also warned her that she wont be lured by fancy gifts.

'How will I know if she likes me?', she asked worried. This entire ordeal was more tough than when she had confessed her feelings for him. She started sweating a little and was worried if her make up will give away.

'You will know. And so will I. Dont worry.', he held her hand as they walked inside.

As soon as they entered the hall, she came running from the room. Her eyes, big and bright and even before he could introduce them, she jumped on her, wagging her tail. She started licking her face amidst excited barks.

'I told you that the make up wont make any difference!' he laughed and patted her head.

#microtales #love

[thegirlyoualwaysloved]

HH

[thegirlyoualwaysloved]

'So how do you know it is love?', he asks as he pours another glass of wine. The sun is high up in the sky on a Saturday afternoon and his sunglasses hide his eyes that remind me of one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen.

'Science says you fall in love, the real kind of love exactly three times in life. And I know I am in love when the person makes me feel like I am at an ocean', I say gulping the third glass of wine.

'So how many oceans have you loved?'. He gently puts his sunglasses on the table and his eyes gleam like the wine in my hand.

'Two, to be precise. The first ocean was vast and I swam knowing I would drown someday. He was vastness and infinite, deep and dark, calm and chaos. He was sometimes the moonlit waves and sometimes the starchy sand on a scorching sunny Sunday. He was love in its purest form and life in its fullest.

The second time, I was scared to step into the waters. I chose to stare at him from a distance than going for a swim. Even from a distance, my heart ached for his one glance, he was treasures unexplored and a secrets only a few pirates knew about. He was the whisper of the sea shells and the song of the dolphins. Sometimes, I feel I should haven dared to take a walk on the beach, but maybe sometimes people are to be loved in the way they are to be. From a distance ', I manage to tell him smiling amidst the wisps of memories of the two oceans I was in love with.

' Do you always make poetry about everything and everyone? And how do you know these people are the oceans that you are searching for? ', he asks, this time holding my hands and looking straight into my eyes. They are fierce and soft at the same time. They question knowing the answers, they are like the sunsets that you look forward to.

I take a deep breath. I know that feeling. It's familiar and frightening. I clasp his hand into mine.

"It always starts with a sunset"

[thegirlyoualwaysloved]

Dear Ex Best Friend,

I never thought one day, you will be an 'ex'. I remember the way we laughed off when someone mentioned an 'ex'. You often said the only way you would be my 'ex' is in 'existing' and not in an 'extinct'. But I guess, you got confused with the two words. Just like always.

Dear Ex Best Friend,

I took a long time to pen this down. How do I even expect you to read it when I have blocked you over all my social media profiles. I don't even know if you tried to call or text me today, for I have blocked you over calls too. I am sorry, ex best friend. But you have lost all rights to make me feel your presence in my life.

Dear Ex Best Friend,

I just hope that the people over social media with posts about "friends forever", "together till death" don't ever hear about our friendship stories. I do not want them to lose faith in friendships like the way I did. Because of you.

Dear Ex Best Friend,

I miss you the most today. And so do my earphones, the ones we plugged into one of each ear and watched marathon episodes of a new web series. I miss you, for I cannot finish the whole Death By Chocolate by myself. I miss you, for I cannot (still) choose between a dark pink or dusky purple dress and I end up buying both. One of which I will never wear. I miss you for I am gaining way too much weight and not fitting into the clothes you once gifted me, and there is absolutely no one to force me to the gym or remind me of the my chubby cheeks, the time I order for a double cheese burger.

Dear Ex Best Friend,

I thought of all that you did. And I have realized no one ever can take your place. I have forgiven you for what you did. I have realized that friendships go much more beyond petty fights and misunderstandings. I wish you realize that too.

Dear Ex Best Friend,

Please come back.

Lets start all over again¡

[thegirlyoualwaysloved]

Someone told me yesterday that finding a person to fall in love with is like finding hope.

Hope that you will have someone to wake up to. Hope that there will be someone who will help you decide what to wear. Hope that you will finally leave office early to return to someone to talk to. Hope that you will find warmth in the chaos that you have been living in. Hope that you will finally see a streak of light in your dimmed existence. Hope that you will finally believe in the thought that every heart break till now was totally worth it. Hope that the person you are going to fall in love with will break your heart, but unlike the others be alongside to mend it again. Hope that the person will break the monotony of your life and you will learn something new, everyday, together. Hope that even if you drive alone listening to a selected playlist, you will know whom you want to sing it for. Hope that every book you read will be discussed, every game you play will be applauded and every dance of yours will be laughed at.

Hope that finally someone will tell you how grateful they are for the little things you do. Hope that finally someone will help you face your greatest fear-love!

Someone told me yesterday that finding a person to fall in love with is like finding hope. I have hopelessly found this hope in many people only to be disappointed. Only to be told that love is not hope but an illusion that you want to believe is true. Only to be snapped out of a dream that never sailed the night. Only to be awakened from a trance that scarred more than it healed.

Someone told me yesterday that finding a person to fall in love with is like finding hope

And this time, I hope you hope the same too!

[thegirlyoualwaysloved]

Saving myself

When I was four and had to go somewhere by a train, I would always prepare myself that if the train derails, how I am going to protect myself from dying. When I was ten, and was in school, I would always prepare myself that if there were an earthquake striking the whole building how I would move out of there safely. When I was fifteen, and went to the jungle for a trek, I made sure I prepared myself to flee from the claws of a hungry tiger and reach home safe. When I was twenty, and the news flashed about an arriving hurricane in my city, I prepared myself for the worst to escape from the clutches of nature’s fury. I was always so busy in finding ways to save myself from the bigger disasters that I forgot to prepare myself from falling in love. Yesterday, I saw you near the coffee vending machine. The train had derailed and I was lost. You poured an exuberant slosh of cappuccino in your cup. The earthquake shook my existence. You exactly added one and half spoon of sugar into your coffee. The tiger had caught my neck and I could not breathe. You blew at the foam and took a sip. The hurricane dazed me completely. You looked at me and smiled. The dimpled smile. And this time , I could not save myself. -How Falling In Love With You Feels Like #love #diaster

[thegirlyoualwaysloved]

I am an open book to read. Sadly, his love seems to be dyslexic. -Reasons he will never know why I am in love with him

[thegirlyoualwaysloved]

'Why do you love this place? This is like the zillionth time we have been here!', she fiddles with the sand scribbling secret patterns with her toes. 'Because this was the place where we first met.' 'Do you believe in love?', he asks her. The evening is young and the breeze whispers into the ears of folone lovers. 'Do you believe in mermaids?', she asks as her toes curl against a wave that touches her feet. 'I do. But I know they don't exist. But my heart wants to see one!' 'And so do I about love!'she smiles as the moonlight kisses the ocean and he tries to decipher the patterns on the sands and her words

[thegirlyoualwaysloved]

The flame

Someday someone will come into your life and ignite a spark of love. And long before you know, the spark will turn into a raging fire and then to an immortal flame. And one day when he leaves, you will still be burning with the flame in your heart. You will try turning it into words, bleeding verses of love. You will try turning it into tears, banging your wrists against the bed side table yearning for the moon. You will try turning it into an icy heart, but will fail The flame will flicker in random memories. When you see couples holding hands in the park, when the radio crackles with a song that he always hummed for you, when you busy yourselves counting the stars to ward off insomnia, when you wait for your coffee at the cafe rubbing the saccharine sachets between your thumb and index fingers, wondering if he still likes coffee with just one tspoon of sugar. The flame will always be alight. While you think it is burning you down, you will not know it is guiding many of the others in love, the ones who are reading your words. Just like the way, you are reading this right now!