Some Kind of Weird Goth Cowboy

[dappermouth]

And then you had that dream again.

[jame7t]

I feel like an alien tomb would be sooooo fucking cool until a alien mummy gets up and chase you

[cryptotheism]

This happened to me. You think mummies are slow as fuck and you can outrun them. But alien mummies have a ray gun.

[jame7t]

do not trauma dump on my posts please

[thewenglishwarlock]

A little lizard love with a bonking baton

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

[krystal-prisms]

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gosh I enjoy this website

[authoratmidnight]

For comparison, this is a daffodil

[quietlygrousing]

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

[maejacrezz007]

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

[fractiousrvt]

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

[blood-trip-god2]

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

[delphinidin4]

This is a marigold:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

[punkrock-bottom]

I’ve seen you people thirst after men I wouldn’t even feed to my creature

[humanoidhistory]

Stephen Fabian, 1980.

[jungwildeandfree]

so this guy right he makes ancient egyptian themed furry costumes. he makes all kinds but mostly he specializes in Horus heads. it's his passion really. he loves to make the beautiful falcon head of the Sun God. anyway so he's at a con one day and he sees this whole bunch of people in middle kingdom dress with these indistinguishable animal heads. he's like. oh man these folks could really use a new source, i can hardly tell what animal those are! so he goes over and he says "hey guys! i see you are into ancient egyptian mythological themed furry costumes--if any of you are interested in being the radiant Son of Ra, I am the BEST in the business!"

and the group of people look at each other, then at him. awkward. finally one of them says: "uh. no thanks. we're all Set."

[s-cullayy]

[thatlittleegyptologist]

This has been sent to me four times today, so I'm condemning OP to be judged by the 42 and fall into Nuun.

[datundit]

I think every laugh will make OP’s heart a bit lighter.

@thatlittleegyptologist

Judge OP’s heart

I laughed, I lighten his heart.

His heart shall be heavier for this.

Voting ended onMar 1

[sunbentshadows]

[dyke-uncle]

Photo by Marc Mol / Caters News.

(source)

[dyke-uncle]

“The baby hippo was clearly not used to the red and yellow oxpeckers on his back,” Mol says. “It was only a matter of 10 seconds or so before the little guy had had enough. […]"

Hippos and oxpeckers generally have a symbiotic relationship in which the birds eat ticks and other types of parasites from the hippo’s body — the hippo gets free grooming while the bird gets free food.

In this case, however, it seems the baby hippo hadn’t yet gotten the memo on its feathered friends.

[moonlightfemme]

daily affirmations

whoever annoys me will die

I am perfect

I am capable of killing people with my mind

[charaznablespeteevee]

[fascinationstreetmp3]

[lazarus-lazuli]

i have no comment this is just the funniest fucking thing i’ve seen all day

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Me, tears streaming down my face, sobbing, as I stare at the stars: it’s just so beautiful

The medieval peasant I went back in time to give a bag of Doritos to, concerned: what terrible and powerful sorcerers they must have in your age, to be able to veil the vault of heaven itself from view, as you say

Me, sniffling: I didn’t realize, I can’t, it’s so much, I, I… are the chips good, at least?

Medieval peasant, trying to make me feel better: they’re… magical, strange traveler

[bisexuel]

[skinny-dipping-sasquatch]

Reblog daily for health and prosperity.

[despazito]

Olympics has patagium drama now

[despazito]

Sharovipteryx has been banned from representing Triassic Kyrgyzstan per IOC ruling

[thegoddamnedmagpie]

Listen I think it's got something to say alright! and im right!