Go Forth

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Can You Stand The Anticipation?

 (Exodus: 6:6, 12:31, 13, 14)

In Exodus 12-31 God led Pharaoh to let the Israelites go and be free. The problem was freedom didn’t immediately feel free. Sometimes when we pray to God about an issue and we hear his promise of deliverance we expect it right then. We expect to feel the immediate benefits of what we've asked for. That is not always the case. The promise was first given in Exodus 6:6 and wasn’t seen until 12:31. See we live now in an expectant society. We have to trust Gods kairos and not be upset when it doesn’t match our kronos.

So Pharaoh had told the Israelites to get gone and they did so in a rush. Later in the wilderness the Israelites took the time to commemorate and remember not only when the Lord initiated his deliverance but how he did it. In verse 13:03 they marked out a time to celebrate the Lords victory. Now mind you they were still not in ideal conditions and this didn’t necessarily look like the “freedom” they had in mind but still they celebrated it. How many times have we not celebrated or praised God for something that he had done for us because it didn’t look like we thought it should? But here freshly free and in this wilderness they took stock of what God had done despite how it seemed. Most of the times we are caught up on solely how it looks and nothing else. We need to remember to praise God for every triumph in the midst of a trial. After all small battles win a war.

But after some time the Lord allowed Pharaoh to have a hardened heart and he felt the need to go find those Israelites he let go. And when he did the real test came. In 14:10 it says that the Egyptians caught up with the Israelites and they (the Israelites) were afraid and they called out to the Lord. Just because you have been delivered from a situation doesn’t mean the devil is done with you or it! Now here are the Egyptians coming up on Israel. Now Israel knew the lord and had seen his works leading up to this point. Yet at the fear of their past yoke being placed on them called out to God nevertheless. They did not understand the magnitude of God’s deliverance, you are set free! What is your fear?

In 14:11-12 Moses is questioned by the paper-thinned beliefs and small babe like faith of the Israelites. They began to cast doubt on Gods promise in Exodus 6:6. How often have we heard God but later at the first light of trouble we bulk? How many times will you allow the devil to infiltrate your mind with lies? You are holding his lies with more weight than Gods. Mind you this was the easier route God chose for them. He saved them from a Philistine battle knowing how weak they were in faith (Ex: 13:17-18). God makes no mistakes and says what he means. He does not mince words. How many times in the bible has God not been clear about his intended deliverance? Yet we treat him and try to understand him with the same fickle mindset and actions with which we handle people. He never fails, but in our minds we say that he might either directly or indirectly. The children of Israel had miracles that bore the signature of the Almighty God yet were lowered by the presence of the Egyptians. By someone who had been put under subjection and has bowed down to God? Even in the presence of Gods glory?

In Exodus 13:21-22 God was with them. His pillar NEVER left its place! So where was Gods pillar in the later verse of 14:9 when the Egyptians overtook (caught up to) them? Or in 14:10 when they were afraid? Or what about in 14:11-12 when they were casting doubt? God never left and he never leaves us. He is our pillar in any struggle in any trial. Don’t be fooled by the devils masquerade.

In Exodus 14:13-14 my favorite part Moses reaffirms the power of God. He tells the not be afraid but to STAND FIRM! Can you stand firm when the devil is approaching you? Can you handle the anticipation? You should be able to! Who is your God? Instead of standing in anticipation for the devils attack stand firm in the anticipation of the deliverance of God! If you hold firm you’ll never see this trial again! Where is your faith? The devil wins when he can shift your focus!

In Exodus 14:15-16 Moses raises his staff to part the sea! Now the Israelites can see what they were waiting for. Now they see why they were standing firm. At your front is the glory of Gods promise. There is nothing behind you but shackles and things God has delivered you from. Its easy to go back because you know bondage and strife. But to stand firm and to trust that sea to open takes faith. When you stand in anticipation of God to move on your behalf you have activated your faith! See 14:13 when Moses calmed them by saying stand firm and reaffirming Gods promise he renewed the faith in them. In the next verse 14:15 God says “MOVE!!” You know why? Its over! They did their part by standing.

Now in 14:19 Gods Angel withdrew and the pillar of God withdrew behind the children of Israel.He didn’t leave them. Just like he didn’t leave you. Sometimes God is cementing his work. See only then did the pillar move AFTER he told Moses to move and what to do. Only then because it was handled now. All Israel had to do now is watch the lord at work. Watch him fulfill his promise.

Lastly, in 14:25 the Egyptians tried to get away from Israel after they realized that God was fighting for the Israelites. The devil knows the whole time who is fighting for you. He just don’t want you to know. If he can gain your mind you are back enslaved to what you knew (bondage) but once you activate your faith and know the Lord fights for you the devil has no room.

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Tunnel Vision

What do you do while waiting on God?

You might be thinking that you have one major problem and that if you can get God to fix it you’ll be fine. The truth of the matter is, you’re about to have many problems. When trouble hits we say we are waiting on God. But how many times have you found yourself fixated on something you’ve left at the alter? We cannot fix the problem but we become addicted to either finding the solution or the emotion attached to it. When we put all of our mind to it we choke and starve the other healthy areas of life.

So I guess the question is, what else can you do while waiting on God to answer your need? Well Pastor Nathan gave me quite a different spin on the waiting game. He said to look for areas that God has shown you that need your attention. Sometimes God works around the problem. Just because it seems big that doesn’t mean you can’t move. But that’s the way tunnel vision works right? Everything else is blocked from view except the problem.

This is essentially the problem. I’ve never known that staring at grass made it grow quicker. In fact I’m sure it doesn’t. Don’t let circumstances allow you to become like a race horse; always chasing the problem and unable to see anything else around you. Ask God to remove blockers from your view. Trust in Gods timing and allow yourself the freedom to see all of the other ways God has moved in your life.

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Waiting For Rain

One of my favorite series of all time is the Sarah, Plain and Tall series. I don’t care how many times I’ve seen them, its never enough. So when I was suddenly placed on call from work I thought it was the perfect time to watch some familiar friends. You see, I’ve watched these movies so many times I felt like I knew the characters. I know every scene and almost every line. There was nothing about the movies that I hadn’t analyzed or pondered… or so I thought.

It wasn’t until watching the second part of Sarah, Plain and Tall, the movie Skylark, that things started to get a bit deep. Here was a movie I had seen probably about 50 times (I know…judge not!!!) that was now breaking through the fog of my mundane day off. I had thought that this was going to be another one of those rainy days sipping tea watching Sarah blow Jacobs mind about being a strong woman. But today was actually the day that God decided to shake up my understanding of struggle, pain and the act of waiting.

I’m not like most. In fact I have been told that I am a bit nerdy and over-thinking. But one thing I pride myself on is the belief that if God wants to talk to you, he’ll use anything and anybody to do it. This train of thought has never harmed me and the older I get the more aware I am of God’s presence in even the smallest things, small things like lazy movie day. To help you understand what I mean, let me give you a brief summary of the movie.

Skylark follows the lives of Jacob, Sarah, Anna and Caleb Witting on their farm in Kansas. The story shapes as the Witting family experiences a great drought. The family finds it hard to cope. Jacob, born in Kansas, has seen droughts come and go and knew that it would pass at some point. Sarah, born in Maine found it to be insufferable. The community bands together with the resources they have in order to make it a tad more bearable. In the end however, they too fade away. The drought becomes so bad that pillars in the community start leaving. The promise was, “They’d be back”. But Jacob had been around long enough to know that they wouldn’t.

After standing by her man; losing the barn to a fire,being reduced to water rations and fighting off wild animals trying to steal that water, Sarah finally has enough. She breaks down under the pressure of reduced circumstances. Jacob seeing her distress, lets her go to her home state with the children. He refuses to go because “his name was written in this land” and that he could not part from it. He stayed and waited for rain.

Jacob had seen droughts before. He has also seen townies brave the seasons and finally give up. But while others were fleeing, he stayed. While others looked at the damage done in wildfires and washed their hands thinking that it was too much to handle, Jacob rebuilt. While others cursed the land as God Forsaken, he said his name was written it. This might have sounded completely mad except for the fact that Jacob was thinking clearly. He wasn’t thinking with his heart but with his mind. He remembered a key concept; the drought could NOT last forever.

How many times have we gotten so caught up in our emotions we forget to think rational? How many times have our emotions ruled us right into making the wrong decisions? Sometimes we want to win so bad at whatever is hurting us that we allow our emotions to make moves we normally wouldn’t make with a clear frame of mind. In the heat of the moment we feel that this pain, this sorrow will last forever. Our hurts tell us that we must do something to stop it, anything. Just like the towns people, they fled. The emotions brought forth by their circumstances was the only thing they could see. Like a cloudy haze dropped before them, everything was filtered through their feelings.

Even Sarah (my girl to the end) couldn’t weather it out. She was a fighter, and that’s how she handled things in life. She’d would roll up her sleeves and take the bull by the horns. But sometimes “fight” isn’t enough. Even she got tired. Sometimes the struggle isn’t always about how much fight you have or how good you are at it. Sometimes fight leaves you burnt out. Nothing is worse than a burnt out fighter. The fighter that has been known for besting even the greatest storms would find themselves outmatched and disillusioned. Why? Because this time it was out of her control. The fighter in her could not bend this one to her will. She simply had to wait.

In the movie, before they left, Caleb put out a glass on the porch. He wanted to measure the rain. One evening when Jacob was frustrated he was about to remove the glass. Sarah admonished him and he placed it back. Of all the times I’ve seen this movie I’ve never paid this part too much attention. But now I can say I felt him. See I am the type of person that hates second rate things. If I’ve got to do the work of the struggle I want nothing less than my reward. Jacob wasn’t about to settle for a few drops in a glass. He wanted it all. He had staked his life on it. He had waited it out. He was not about to be put to shame (Psalm 25:3, Isaiah 54:4, Joel 2:26). If you trust in God trust his timing.

God will not let your waiting be in vain. He saw every time you hoped and every time you prayed against what your eyes saw. You, like Jacob, stand in the midst of a dry field. You both look to the sky and watch the heat storms, the idle clouds and impotent thunder and lightening roll across the sky. You both whisper, “ it can’t last forever”. Know that it wont last forever. But sometimes the battle requires you to wait. You have to recall all the times God has pulled you out. They are your testimony, your lifeline for this battle.  This cannot be your first drought! This is just another testing. God sees your need, there is nothing his eye doesn’t capture. But like Jacob waiting in the field, there is nothing you can do but stand. Don’t falter. Don’t phone it in. Don’t look at the destruction around you. Look straight up at the sky from where the rain comes.

Scriptures for more reading and understanding:

Afraid of waiting- Psalm 25:3,Psalm 69:6, Isaiah 54:4, Joel 2:26

Waiting on God- Micah 7:7, Psalms 69:3, Isaiah 64:4, Psalms 27:14, Psalms 37:

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No Fear of Falling

Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. Psalms 8:2

If anyone knows me personally then you know the current struggle I face. It is a hard one and while I put my best foot forward I will admit that it is a daily struggle. It seems and it may just be me, but it seems that I can trust God with a matter of all things but I have the hardest time giving over matters of the heart. But in this matter I am forced in a way I have never been before. The irony is even when we struggle God has a way of reminding us that he is always near and does care. The other day I was wrapping up a bible lesson with my girls. I was trying to stress the importance of having complete faith in God and what it meant to trust in him. I was trying my best to level out the very serious subject of faith in a way they could understand. I wanted them to understand just how powerful a weapon they were given. I wasn’t sure if they understood. My youngest repeated everything I said back to her with a smile. My oldest just looked at me with a blank stare. I’ll be honest, I felt like it wasn’t my brightest moment as a parent. I was sure that I had talked my head off for the last thirty minutes in vain.

So you can imagine my surprise when my oldest decides that our walk to the bus stop would be the perfect time to resume bible study. I listened to her speak trying to see just how much she had retained from the night before. I was surprised (I had to stop looking at her deadpan face as an indicator of her reception). When we finally stopped at the bus stop my phone rang. I answered and began talking to my grandmother. I could see my oldest out of the corner of my eye playing around with sticks and leaves. I became so engrossed in my conversation with my grandmother that I turned my back to her for just a few moments. I even began to pace the cul-de-sac. In one moment of what I liked to call (at that time) maternal instinct I had turned around just to see my daughter diving backward toward the pavement. I ran over to her and caught her in mid fall. The mother in me asked her what on earth she was doing. How did she know I would see her? I asked if she was willing to take the risk that I wouldn’t. Her response was the best I have ever heard. She said to me, “I knew you would. No matter what I am doing you are always watching me”. Then she told me that she knew that even if she could not see me that I could see her. She said she had faith in me to catch her.

I laughed to myself because I knew it was true. You see as a kid I was a prankster. As good as I was I could never sneak up on my mother. It would drive me insane. No matter how quiet I was or how stealthy I was at creeping up behind her she would catch me. One time I got so close I could touch her. Right when my hand reached to get her she turned around at looked at me. I was frozen in mid-air. I could not figure out how she got me. Later she would tell me she could feel me breathing on her hair. The point I am trying to make is that even in times when we feel like we cannot see God moving in our lives doesn’t mean he isn’t. We get so caught in our trials and stresses that we forget an important thing. God is always watching. It doesn’t matter how close we are to the pavement or how swift we are seemingly falling. We need to remember that his eye is always on us. We need to remember that the same love and surety that allowed me to run and catch her are the same traits that are active in our father. I thanked God silently in my head for the lesson she taught me about the bible study. Sometimes it takes a child to help you remember the most basic things about God.  

I thank God for children. They take what you teach them and give it back to you when you need it most. While she grabbed her backpack and head for the bus steps I waved bye and held back tears. I needed her gift that morning. And while the bus took off down the street I took that quiet trek back home to spend time with him.

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Lessons from the Shower Head

A different look at fear

At one point in our new house the hot water heater had went out. We had gas so it was apparent that the pilot light was the issue. It was evening so we’d have to wait until morning. I was upstairs hoping to take a shower not realizing what it meant to have the pilot light go out. Not only was there no hot water in the sinks but no hot water in the showers as well. I stepped in and pulled the knob to bring the water forth. I jumped. Not only was it cold it was ice cold. I stood there mad and staring at the water as if by some miracle it would change its mind and spew forth hot water. I debated between jumping in and waiting until the gas company came to fix it. I opted to wait. I told myself it would only be until morning anyway.

It was around 5 am when I heard my husband spark up the shower. I watched him from where I slept in bed. I knew that when he felt just how cold the water was he would jump out and change his mind. He too would opt for a wash up instead. But much to my surprise or perhaps not, he stepped right in the shower and shivered. I smiled, he’d be out of there in a second. But yet again another surprise, he stayed. After a while, he had been in there going on ten minutes. My shock went from a small amount of envy to wishful thinking. He later hopped out of the shower and went on to work.

It was later that morning that I realized that the gas company wasn’t coming at the crack of dawn like I had hoped. Instead it would be late afternoon.  I was upset. I wanted a shower right then. You see, I get some of my best thoughts while in the shower or washing dishes (odd, I know). But I wasn’t ready just yet to have ice from the arctic run down my back. Instead of braving the shower I ran downstairs to my laptop. I thought to myself, surely YouTube would have something about the gas pilot. I scoured the web and finally found two things on the internet that promised to solve my issues. One was a video how to on YouTube, the other was a step by step on E-How. I watched the video and felt confident in myself and my ability to do it. I just knew that I could hop out to the garage and put on my Mrs. Fix-it hat and be done with it. Who needed the gas company now!

The next tab however put the fear of God in me. On the E-How tab it gave the step by step directions. They seemed easy enough and even mirrored the YouTube video. What was different though was that this site had a warnings section. Under the warnings section it listed the very things that could go wrong. One in particular stood out to me: “The house could blow up if you do it wrong”. I can laugh now but trust me I didn’t laugh at all at first. I pulled my imaginary Mrs. Fix-it hat off and sat on the couch.

So I realized that not only did the girls have to chance it on the cold water, I would too. I began to rethink the shower. Suddenly it didn’t seem so bad. I kept telling myself that it wasn’t that cold. I stood once more in our bathroom with the water running. I watched the water go down and could feel a little mist. It was just enough mist to let me know it was still cold. I frowned but told myself that if my husband could do it then so could I. I pulled my clothes off and hopped right in- just kidding. I hopped in the shower on the side. The water sprayed about and I stood off in the corner pressed to the door. I couldn’t do it. I didn’t know why but I just couldn’t imagine myself being so uncomfortable when I really didn’t have to be.

I settled yet again to wait until the gas company came and instead washed the girls. My oldest was like her father, water-shawater!  My youngest, very much like me hated it every step of the way but eventually began to play around in the water. I couldn’t believe it. She was so much like me but was able to let go of being uncomfortable.  It was then that I realized that perhaps this was about a lot more than water. Sometimes in life we come face to face with uncomfortable situations. We can choose to bare it all and deal with it head on or try to find ways around it. Fear is a serious thing. It can keep you from doing something so easy. To others (like my husband and my oldest) it’s a simple mind over matter thing. They know that it’s something that has to be done. Then there are others like me and my youngest who avoid opportunity or solutions to problems because we don’t want to be uncomfortable. Instead of facing whatever issues we have we try to come up with ways to get around them. There must be another way outside of doing something we don’t want to do. Or we tell ourselves that we will just do a little, that will surely get us desired results, right?

Sometimes there are moments in our lives that require us to act. However in order for us to act and succeed at putting in action we must first go through something uncomfortable. Like the Me in the shower sometimes we fear or are unwilling to be uncomfortable. We tell ourselves that we don’t have to do something but desire a reward as if we had finished the task. I looked once more at my girls playing in the water. I challenged myself to dare to be fearless. Of course it is just a bunch of water but to me it symbolized so much more. It symbolized why I couldn’t get past small things. I was unwilling to experience discomfort. I was even willing to stand on the side of it stating that it was my choice. The only choices are to move through or to remain stagnant.

I dried the girls off and ran once again to our bathroom. I turned the knob and jumped right in. I too shivered as my husband had. My body was in a state of gentle shock but before I could bring myself to complain it was over. Suddenly the cold water was nothing more than a slight irritant. I smiled to myself, this was easy. I wondered how many other things in life were easy but the idea of being uncomfortable (or perceived discomfort) keeps us at bay. I started thinking of how many people want to lose weight but the soreness was too much, want to get married but talking to strangers was new or how many people have voices to be heard but are afraid of success.

While in the shower I heard a sound at the door. It was my oldest, she yelled to me, “Somebody is at the door!”. I got dressed and looked out of the window, it was the gas company. I laughed, who needs the gas company now!

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The Importance of Just Starting

One of my biggest struggles when becoming a mother was trying to figure out just where Tiffany had gone to. Coupled with the duties of being a wife I felt as if I no longer existed. What did I like to do now? Did I have any hobbies? Any friends? I was confused about who I was. Don’t get me wrong motherhood and wifery were quite fulfilling roles but I needed more and as a woman I think it’s important to always prepare for more. There are some that tell you that being a wife and mother are all you need- I don’t knock those people because in all honesty that might actually do it for some people. But not me. I was highly creative and determined. But somewhere along the way I had run out of steam and my little train had gotten stuck mid-way up a hill. Achieving things for myself seem just too hard or out of reach.

For those of you like me who fear the impending loneliness of when you have an empty nest and nothing to pour into or who fear that your conversation consist of only housework and what the kids did today, this is for you. For all of the others, please try to empathize . Please don’t misunderstand. I am not saying that your goals as a woman are more important than being a wife or a mother.  I am saying that your dreams still exist just in a different capacity.

So what do you do? You try or at least that’s what I started doing. I really thought about what interested me and what my old hobbies were. I’ll admit there was a lot of fear on my end because I had been a stay at home mom for years. I started wondering if I was still smart, still creative or if anything I used to know was still relevant. The truth is that if you are human those thoughts will always cross your mind. While they may not be paralyzing to all they are definitely there. But the goal is to try. I tell every mother, wife and woman that I know to at least try. It doesn’t matter when you start or how you go about it just as long as you do something for yourself. We invest so much time in perfecting our families and our outward image of perfection that we forget to invest in the maintenance of us.

I once took a business class that stressed the importance of upkeep. This upkeep could be your employees, your equipment or anything you used to keep the ship moving. Without upkeep the ship will never sail smoothly. I hear so many stories of women who let go of their hopes and dreams to pursue dreams of a family. I believe they can coexist. For example: writing this blog means that I am busy. I write the blog in my children’s room on the floor beside them. I call out the alphabet and numbers purposefully leave out letters and numbers to see if they understand. When I invest time into exercising I purposefully do cardio like Zumba first so they can join in. By the time it’s time for strength they are hugging the couch too tired to join. My point in saying all of this is to say START NOW!!!!!

Start at least thinking of something you used to love to do. Start picking up those old journals and dusting off those old crafts. Invest in yourself. One of the greatest pleasures is to see my girls clap when I read an essay or achieve a goal of mine. I want to show them what strength is.

Originally posted https://thegoforthblog.wordpress.com