the Goonery

All the Shit Because we all have a lot of growing up to do. #thegoonery

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Might need some chipotlaway #cleanplateclub #opposite of #foodpics #foodporn #food

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So much Goonery already this month

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Fascistnating Dating Advice

Dear Edogg, I’m having a hard time starting up a conversation with women. I can’t think of anything and it’s bugging me. Can you help? The struggle is real Dear The struggle is real, It’s probably, because you are such a great guy that you choose your words wisely. You’re the next Shakespeare or a post modern Kerouac. You just jive baby jive. You’re cool Daddy O. You just want to make the best impression so you can possibly gain a key to her heart and go on wild adventures in the

Dating advice from a staunch conservative

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An Ode to You Vanilla Friend

An ode to you vanilla friend. In every group there is always that vanilla friend. You know, the one who always chooses vanilla when they go to Baskin Robbins. They have 31 different flavors and somehow vanilla won out. Sure there is nothing wrong with choosing vanilla but it begs the question, have you ever left your comfort zone? I mean, if you are okay with a life of mediocrity and routine, by all means move to the suburbs and buy a minivan. You will surely be at your family reunion in

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Goonery 101 : Life’s Little Nuisances

Life can be stressful enough. Our plates are already loaded with the stress from work or home. But life always gives us more, for there’s always that goon who knows what buttons to press to bring the goonery to the next level. So let’s go into detail on identifying these goons and how we can prevent them from happening. It should not be too hard, right? Together with a little bit of work, we can prevent them and make the world a better place….for the entire human race Here are a few

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Goon of the Week (Feb 24)

President of Egypt, El-SiSI in office since June 2014. As chief of the Egyptian Armed Forces, Sisi ousted President Mohammed Morsi amidst an uprising in 2013. Ridiculous antics, wild confusion, foolishness in power, and then throw in a few human rights abuses and here you have this week’s GOTW. While having a baby or a toddler may be terrifying to us “yo-pros” and millennials, if you are the military AND you‘re in control of the government, unless this baby is one of the babies geniuses from

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When you're finally ready to relax and watch #Netflix after a long weekend #strugglebus #firstworldproblems

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More Fascionating Advice

Dear Edogg, All these guys want to talk. I just want to fuck. But I want a normal guy not somebody whose going to suck on my toes. How do I do that? Woman, Dear Dream Woman, Hold one second. You know exactly what I want. Let me call you up and we’ll arrange something. A therapy session. Because you “Missy I Just Want to Bang with No Attachments”. You don’t exist. There’s something else at play here. And you’re not telling me what it it is And I want to know what exactly your up to, you

Dear Edogg, All these guys want to talk. I just want to fuck. But I want a normal guy not somebody whose going to suck on my toes. How do I do that?

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60% of the time, it works every time. #mariokart

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Apparently how New Yorkers cure a #hangover #roughnight

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The # 4 best place to discard a banana peel #mariokart #thegoonery

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Bitch Level Goonery : A Guide to Entry Level Work

Congrats buddy, you've finally landed that coveted entry-level position that every post grad in America has been jockeying for. Now you feel like you are ready to start moving and shaking. In your head you feel like you'll be working on all of the biggest projects. Your impact will be felt around the world, because you're a "college grad," and that’s an exclusive club right? Hell, maybe you got lucky and this is true in some capacity because you're a shot caller. To which I say, congrats to

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Goon of the Week

All though there was some heavy competition for goon of the week - Kanye’s failed album launch (multiple times) and the twitter revelation that he’s $53 million in debt, the Goon of the week absolutely goes to Jeb Bush for not renewing the domain name to Jebbush.com. This is absolutely ridiculous, not only should staff be fired, but he should just give up. Why didn’t he auto renew? Was he thinking he might want to change his name sometime soon? How can you be expected to run a country when you

Tune in to hear the latest Goon of the Week

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Fascionating Dating Advice

Dear Edogg, I’ve been really having a hard time meeting women on tinder. My friends tell me my profile is legit. Is it my pictures? Can you help me out? Picless Dear Picless, Your pictures may be your number one problem. As a man I don’t read the profiles, even though women might. But unfortunately, you might have some pretty boring pictures. Lighten them up and do research on the times when you take your next pic. What is trending right now. Do you have a tiger available? Are you wearing

“Dating advice from a Staunch Conservative”

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The Goonery in Movies "Deadpool or Alive?"

For a geek, Deadpool starts off pretty spectacularly. Opening with “Angel of the Morning” blasting, the camera is rolling back from a frozen 3 dimensional frame of a guy’s face who has just spit out a lit up cigarette lighter. The camera continues to roll back showing freshly shot bullets floating in the air. Then the camera moves over to the left and wonders around what appears to be a struggle. Guns blasting off. Henchman splitting blood. One man is shot in the head. A motorcyclist is being

“The First Hard R-Rated Comic Book Flick”

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Portrait of an Election: New Hampshire Votes, Master(de)bating, & Moon Metaphors

Presented by Universal Broadcast Systems Our top story tonight … It’s been a rough go for the presumptive favorites. Before Trump and Sanders, it was Billary or Jub! Billary had a miserable evening in the Granite State (more on this in a bit). As for the elephants, remember when Jub! was the presumptive front runner? A Salon writer gleefully chronicled his (near total) collapse for your amusement. It’s gotten so bad he pulled his mom from the senior center and plopped her on the campaign

“Teddy Bear Cruz.  The closest thing to Richard Nixon, since Richard Nixon”

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What Job Description Goonery to Avoid When Applying for Your Next Job

Okay! Congratulations to you recent college grad, you have finally gotten that coveted college degree after four to five years of binge drinking and underachieving your way through quads of whatever state university you just graduated from. At this point, you are either weaving your way through the career fairs of your alma mater or frantically submitting your resume through the many corporate websites in the vast digital sea known as the internet. Hey, I get it, it totally sucks and you have no