The Gowri Writes

[thegowriwrites]

Slow Disappearance

If anything at all I must be a speckle here in your memory I'd at least like to be residual glitter found in random places at unexpected times but I know I'm probably more like a bit of grime on your otherwise pristine mind easily wiped away when enough combines and collects if anything at all I am most likely a faded mark a faint dust cloud just all things blurry and fleeting again if anything at all. You must've found clarity and I know there's no reason for you to reach out to me I know it's quite a reach but I find my hand outstretched holding out hope losing circulation thinking yours will interlock out of nowhere out of the blue let the blood flow fully and take us back to where we were once

eyes transfixed thoughts engaged ears attentive and dancing from our mouths were words uttered gentle but passionate like poetry each one with weight and value and on more solemn nights fallen tears were picked up off the floor like they were gemstones deposited with care in our own composition the thought of it all makes me want to dig for and collect gold cash in on a prize like you especially when here funds are low emotionally I keep asking for loans and I keep getting denied nothing I do or say builds credit or appreciation there are days I just don't want to struggle like this anymore I won't dare disturb you or ask for your help especially when you must be free and in love somewhere else forever far away and separate from me.

[thegowriwrites]

[thegowriwrites]

Advice from a Neighbor

Your red light could have been fury or alarm but it seems to shine differently Your red light hints of pastel and sparkle; they paint you as a soft lovehue open and communicative so you speak: “Stop! I am a red light to you, after all. From time to time remember to look up at me even if our distance makes you reckon with the past feel this vastness within yourself ask all your stress of control and coordination if it has any power over the coordinates of a star’s address or a planet’s position or the countless plots of Z, X, and Y on the ever-expanding map of the night sky? I didn’t think so. So instead Let the light catch your colors and glow with me – for even in the slimmest sliver of space, in the most minuscule morsel of mass, and in the tiniest taste of time your being is gravitating unmistakably.”

[thegowriwrites]

[thegowriwrites]

[thegowriwrites]

They say

delve deeply

but only

two-dimensionally

into bright

4K displays

brand new resolutions

each year

improvements

at our fingertips

in our palms

thumb-typing precision

zoom in

then zoom out

all while stagnant

sitting down

the images get sharper

clarity like never before!

all the while, our minds

slowly blur

as pixels drop down

to just one forty-four

neural networks

disconnect

so comfortable

in dead zones

no place to charge

or restore

our vision

since media

block our outlets

the creative self

incarcerated

pacing between

blue-lit beams

that overpowered

all the red flags

and even as day

shifts to night

our stars are left

dull and drab

we are kept

scrolling shadows

stifled by our once

sparkling dreams

broken

cracked

behind our very own

glossy, tempered screens.

[thegowri]

Dirty Skin

[thegowriwrites]

The Day Shift

[thegowriwrites]

Clouds graze the skyscrapers

As though the buildings need blankets

Because reaching too high

Seems cold

And lonely

And even the illusion of warmth

From a thousand vapor atoms

Slowly gathering back together

Is enough to keep it

standing tall.

[thegowriwrites]

[thegowriwrites]

Thoughts of touch swarm like bees -

no, not like bees -

like butterflies lifted by the breeze sun shining through their paper wings

until finally landing lightly on waiting petals there is sweetness at their step.

And for me that sweetness starts with the sugar in your eyes -

you sprinkle your sight on me

yes

your gaze meets mine at first then travels -

its trail thwarted by your smile -

when suddenly I feel a change in my flavor as it lands on my lips.

Thoughts of touch plant a soft kiss.

It blooms

speaking in silent tongues

eyes closed.

Thoughts of touch find your hands grasping my back pulling me to you like a sculptor as he makes his mould

your warmth shifts my shape.

Thoughts of touch catch your tongue finding morsels on my neck

yes

you spin me suddenly but the vertigo brings cheer.

And your hands graze the skin on my belly and upward they move cupping my breasts

yes

still kisses on my neck

yes

thoughts of touch sense your hands holding me close then slowly opening floodgates

your fingers caress

yes

they press

yes

the beat of your heart and mine the air of our lungs synchronized

yes

in the blackness of eyes closed shut

splashes of pink red and gold

there is nothing else at all

but the colorful

yearning

thoughts

of touch.

[thegowriwrites]

Under the Rug

[thegowriwrites]

Caryatid

[thegowriwrites]

Smile and Nod

I took everything

with a grain of salt --

And now I’ve got high 

blood pressure.

[thegowriwrites]

Pointless Petals

He probably loves you

if he’s worried whether you’re hurt

than if you’re mad.

[thegowriwrites]

Split

Grated

like shavings of ice

there are tears

before I'm sedated

every night

they sting like

embarrassment

but I learned you can't feel

embarrassed

when no one's around.

Estranged

nowadays

are how me and I feel -

there I am, always giving me

the up and down, an eye roll

and a head shake

left to right.

But still we wish

time would grant us just

one moment

to embrace again -

- and then, when we both don't show up

someplace "important"

someone will come searching for us

and breathe a sigh of

disbelief

when they find us here smiling

left to write.

[thegowriwrites]

Pariah

I’ve happened upon this place again –

the non-golden silence

the barren space

harboring slyly

between my smile

and my soul.

This place again

I land here often

in loud times

where everyone is choral

holding hands

and I am some off-key

soloist –

no room for me.

This place again

it keeps coming upon me

on beautiful journeys

like a rest stop

repetitive

vacant –

my eyes

blink off

the gritty sand

of the road.

Each time this place reminds me

the zenith is still far

from where I stand –

both feet with blisters

in the soles

and in my heart

some aching

gaping

holes.