RANDOM SENTENCE STARTERS: ‘SUCCESSION’ EDITION
“hey hey, motherfuckers!”
“it’s tough to have to tell you like this… but i’m in a sexual relationship with your mother. she talks in her sleep.”
“ah! mr. fuckhead, i presume?”
“i’m lurking. like a dormant virus.”
“why do i disagree? because that’s my opinion.”
“hello. i’m here as a fellow human.”
“you know i don’t want to be melodramatic, but my body is growing weak due to a lack of sustenance.”
“he ate my fucking chicken!”
“i’m an enigma. you can’t pigeonhole me. i’m there, then i’m gone.”
“wow, someone thinks they’re beyoncé.”
“how is this entertainment?”
“i work hard, but i do not play hard. i play easy. why would you play hard?”
“words are just complicated airflow.”
“i’m like an old woman who’s had a baby somehow.”
“i hereby convene the meeting of the newly formed ‘what the fuck are we gonna do’ committee.”
“if you need any help—seriously, any help, any advice—just don’t fucking bother.”
“stop angsting. you’re angsting me.”
“you know how everyone hates you?”
“how much is a gallon of milk?”
“it is not a good morning from my pov because you’re here and i fucking hate you.”
“look… i may be dumb, but i’m smart.”
“when you laugh, please do it at the same volume as everyone else.”
“i can promise you that i am spiritually and emotionally and ethically and morally behind whoever wins.”
“is there a thing where we like, talk to each other about stuff… normally?”
“i got a haircut, even though i didn’t really need a haircut. i think i just wanted someone to touch my head, you know?”
“if it is to be said, so it be.”
“uh… can i suggest a hug?”
“you should be with an exciting bastard like me.”
“i tried playing with you and you broke.”
“i have fought and i have lost, and i have fought and won, but when i lose, the other one will generally lose an eye or so.”
“i think it’s just a wrong kind of love expression.”
“i wonder if the sad i’d be without you would be less than the sad i get from being with you.”
“maybe you’ll meet a wealthy widow and seduce her with your sad eyes.”
“if i think about it, i’m really pretty unhappy.”
“next time you need advice, ask someone who knows what they’re talking about.”
“i’m desperate to make you concentrate on nothing but me for just 15 minutes.”
“i’m just not sure if i’m a good fit for a monogamous marriage.”
“if they didn’t need me right now, i don’t know exactly what i would be for.”
“i’ve managed to get myself into this situation where ‘what does my dad think?’ is my entire fucking universe.”
"oh, and uh… one more thing, real quick: should we get married?”
