selfishness robbed him of who he should be

Arthur Kirkland | The Showman | dependent rp blog for showcasetalia

[softly-and-quietly-musing]

How does one l i v e?

[softly-and-quietly-musing]

How cruel Showing me these w o n d e r f u l things Only to take it all away

[blackcatrph]

☞☞ quotes i found on pinterest sentence starters pt. one ☜☜

“  i’ve polished this anger and now it’s a knife.  ” 

“  i’m fine, i’ve had worse.  ”

“  death too must be earned.  ”

“  how do you destroy a monster without becoming one ?  ”

“  am i a bad person ?  ”

“  family isn’t who you’re born with, it’s who you’d die for.  ” 

“  are you flirting or starting a fight ?  ”

“  i’ll survive, somehow i always do.  ”

“  um.. that’s my emotional support knife collection.  ”

“  tell me; would you kill to save a life ?  ”

“  i am someone who did not die when they should of.  ”

“  i’ve never been good at emotional stuff. except anger. i’m good at anger.  ”

“  you can’t protect everyone !  ”

“  i have to try.  ”

“  turn the pain into power.  ” 

“  what doesn’t kill me better run.  ”

“  are monster born or created ?  ”

“  chin up kid, they’d kill to see you fall.  ”

“  if he puts his hands on you, cut them off.  ”

“  i could keep you safe. they’re all afraid of me.  ”

“  don’t play games with me. don’t ever think you’re capable of that.  ”

“  the question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.  ”

“  something had made your eyes go cold.  ”

“  you haven’t even seen my bad side yet.  ”

“  everybody knows that i’m a mess.  ”

“  i’m sorry i let you down.  ”

“  well, if it isn’t the feeling i was trying to avoid.  ”

“  you are not your father.  ”

“  even on your bad days, be kind.  ”

“  you don’t want me and i need to accept that.  ”

“  stay gentle. everyone is at war.  ”

“  the risk i took was calculated. but clearly i am bad at maths.  ”

“  i wonder which will get you killed faster, your loyalty or your stubbornness ?  ”

“  always be a little kinder than necessary.  ”

“  kind words cost nothing.  ”

“  i am being perfectly fucking civil.  ”

“  we’ll never be those kids again.  ”

“  i’m the original family disappointment.  ”

“  if karma doesn’t hit you, i fucking will.  ”

“  if you can’t be happy, at least you can be drunk.  ”

“  you can talk to me, or not talk to me, but i’m here.  ”

“  guess you’ll just have to fight me.  ”

“  i never asked to be like this.  ”

“  wow.  you’re a dick.  ”

[gvgvdans]

- ; phrases that really hit you where it hurts

“ did you really have to be that honest? ” “ every time i see you i just feel more alone. ” “ you changed me. ” “ was this all just a joke to you? ” “ i don’t want to know. ” “ can we start over? ” “ you make me feel so insecure. ” “ i don’t know if i can love you. ” “ every time i wake up i’m reaching for you … but you’re never there. ” “ of course it meant something! ” “ stop yelling! ” “ i gave up on you a long time ago. ” “ you think i care about you? cute. ” “ did you just forget about me or something? ” “ i still need you. ” “ i wanna say that there’s still hope but sometimes things just don’t go your way. ” “ you said you would keep trying! ” “ no, you ARE strong. ” “ you promised me! ” “ fine. you’ll never see me again, okay? ” “ i gave you everything i had. ” “ your eyes can be so cruel … ” “ i can never do anything right can i !? ” “ i want my life back. ” “ stop crying. ” “ you should go. ” “ don’t come back. ” “ does hurting me make you feel good or something? ” “ just stop it. ” “ i was never in love with you now leave me alone! ”

[theimmortalshowman-blog]

@thelonelypianist

“You better be taking care of yourself,” Arthur chastised, a thick brow arched as he watched Roderich go about on his way, seemingly worse for wear. If he was pushing himself too much, Arthur was going to spit feathers.

“I thought I told you to take it easy; today is your day off, you shouldn’t be working,” Arthur scolded.

[thelonelypianist-blog1]

It was times like these that Roderich cursed his slow gait. He’d thought, if he timed it all right, he might just make it to his piano without anyone noticing he was ought of bed. His timing though had been thrown off by just how long it took him to get ready, not that that was out of the norm. He’d always been slow to prepare in the morning.

Stopping in his tracks, the musician glanced to the man speaking to him, attempting a look of innocence. “I’m merely getting some fresh air,” he huffed. “And if it is my day off, then it is my day to do with as I please.”

[theimmortalshowman-blog]

“If I know you as well as I think I do,” Arthur walked up to the other, resting a hand on his shoulder, “then I know that you aren’t simply going about your day to rest and... Roderich, I’d prefer you to call for me. The least I can do is escort you to the theatre for practise...” 

[theimmortalshowman-blog]

@thelonelypianist

“You better be taking care of yourself,” Arthur chastised, a thick brow arched as he watched Roderich go about on his way, seemingly worse for wear. If he was pushing himself too much, Arthur was going to spit feathers.

“I thought I told you to take it easy; today is your day off, you shouldn’t be working,” Arthur scolded.

[theimmortalshowman-blog]

@fiammina

“Ah, Lorenzo, I was hoping to speak with you,” Arthur motioned towards the other, thankful that he had caught him when a free second had been bestowed upon the showman. It was with a short smile that Arthur continued, “I just wanted to let you know that tomorrow, although a week day, you can take the day and night for yourself. I hope to get around everyone at some point, to let them know they can rest, but...”

He gestured to the papers in his hands, then to the operations happening around him, “an event won’t run itself.”

[theimmortalshowman-blog]

Like for a starter!

[theimmortalshowman-blog]

Arthur began to laugh, darkly at that, as he fixed the other with an incredulous gaze, “tell him to leave? Now why would I do that? He’s another act to add to the list, he’ll bring in magnificent amounts of people, eager to see a living, breathing beast. This is an opportunity I simply cannot toss out onto the street.”

[theimmortalshowman-blog]

Arthur listened, he grew quiet, withdrawn. Of course, he knew that this topic of conversation would come up with someone eventually and he couldn’t blame any of his employees. As much as he wished the world to be accepting, enough so that his people could walk around his given sanctuary without fear of abuse, the times were still accumulated with unknowledgeable people who feared what they could not understand.

Arthur had been one such person in a past lifetime, which he was marginally ashamed to admit. Still, he had found himself a changed man from those times and so he would try his best to accommodate for the worries expressed by the other. Despite these thoughts, he did not exchange them with the other, keeping his feelings on the subject nonverbal. Instead, he gave a nod, mentioning briefly, “I shall see what I can do, Mykola.”

The conversation thereafter was what really had caught Arthurs attention. Narrowing his eyes, he stated, “it seems there’s more to you than I first thought, Mykola.”

He just couldn’t put his finger on why.

[theimmortalshowman-blog]

yourcoolescape‌:

-

Mykola blinked, silently hoping this conversation wasn’t a result of what he’d said to Roderich about his time here so far. “Uh, it’s been… pretty good.” He shook his head, as if willing away the thoughts that had bubbled up at first. 

“I mean, to be honest, I’ve never been anywhere better so… I shouldn’t complain.” He made an unintentional emphasis on shouldn’t rather than saying that he can’t complain and winced. “I guess I should ask… what are your thoughts on my performance?”

“Ah, but you could?” Arthur raised an eyebrow, watching the other with amusement, before he motioned stiffly with his hand, “if you do have any complaints, I expect you to come to me with them, I can take criticism, my boy.” 

Although, at the question he received, Arthur let out a chuckle, “are you worried about it? No need. Your performance is spectacular. The audience is always captivated. You have them holding their hearts in fear of it escaping out of fear.”

A pause.

“How do you do it?” He watched Mykola with a narrowed gaze, ensuring to read every motion and expression. He was certainly curious about the boy, signalled by the soft cock of his head.

[theimmortalshowman-blog]

Newcomer

[theimmortalshowman-blog]

dragxnseye‌:

-

“I would be surprised if you had, and quite angry,” Yao said, another sigh on his breath. “I am still recovering my own memories of before I was in a slumber, but I recall enough to know I was brought here by force.”

“As for work, there is not much I can offer. I am new to this land, and I know little of your customs. Back home, I was a guardian. My work was only to protect and bless the land of my people.” He narrowed his eyes slightly, regarding the other man. “You could also say I am doing you a service already by choosing to believe you and not destroy this place. While I have been worshiped and praised by humans, I am also feared. I hold back now for I sense you are not an evil man and are not lying, but forgive me if I am a bit hesitant.” Perhaps he was a bit harsh, but Yao was growing quite tired of going about unrecognized in this foreign land.

“I think I know the place you can fit in,” Arthur chuckled, “do not worry, my fellow, you’ll fit right in here in the park. You’ll be surprised how many other people I have collected over the years that are similar to you.”

All wonderful people whom he believed were beginning to change him... whether that was for the best or not, he had yet to decide.

“Anyway, I believe you will be able to work in the Barnum wing. You don’t need to do much, except be there and present yourself to the people who come to see you. They’ll treat you like a god, I’m sure.” Arthur informed, plucking his pocketwatch and checking the time.

[lili-takes-flight-blog]

theimmortalshowman‌:

lili-takes-flight‌:

theimmortalshowman‌:

Oh, Arthur didn’t quite… know how to…

He took the gift, albeit awkwardly, and gave a stiff smile at the kind gesture. Honestly, he had never really… been one for receiving such things - though he guessed he’d never done anything to deserve them. Even now, though, it was an apology.

Did he really give off such an upset vibe? And here he thought he was mellowing out in his old age.

Nevertheless, he opened the gift with deft hands, a small mirthful glint shining in his eyes when he finally saw what it was.

“Lili, this is so thoughtful,” he bowed his head in thanks, “I’m grateful for it.”

She bashfully looked at her feet, wringing her hands a bit as he opened the gift. When he sounded pleased, however, she looked up to find him bowing in her direction. She let out a small squeak, too quiet for anyone around them to hear, and quickly replied. 

“O-oh, you’re welcome. I-I just didn’t want you to be upset since I really do like it here and…. and anyway, thank you for always working so hard, you know… we all have a place here because of you so…” she looked to her feet again, blushing bright red. Apparently incapable of finishing her thought aloud for a moment. “th-thanks”  

“My pleasure, Lili,” he murmured, eyes softening.

However, they soon hardened again, and he took a deep breath, “anyway, I must be off. Again, thank you.” With that said, he gave one last bow in goodbye, beginning to step away.

“Take care of yourself, now!” He called over his shoulder, sending a stiff wave.

She gave a small curtsy in response to his bow and spun around after his wave, fully intent on hiding her embarrassment in her room for an hour or two before facing the world again. 

“S-see you later, Arthur.” She spoke as loud as she could muster so he would hear, though her voice wavered. 

[zyklisch-deactivated20201115]

@zyklisch said: “Dragons, am I right?”

@theimmortalshowman

“Mention that word again and I might just throw something at you,” Arthur grumbled.

Gilbert couldn’t help but smirk, the schadenfreude jsut as intense as how he felt Arthur’s pain. At least he hadn’t been alone in his suffering. 

“Arthur, my man, I feel your pain.” He clapped him on the back. “We have the same dragon shaped aches in our dragon shaped heads. What’d he say to you?”

[theimmortalshowman-blog]

“He was a demanding little...” Arthur bit his tongue, “however, he simply wanted to know where he was and why. Of course, I could only answer one of those questions- nevertheless, it appears he’s to be a common presence for the forseeable future.”

Unfortunately.

[lili-takes-flight-blog]

theimmortalshowman‌:

Oh, Arthur didn’t quite… know how to…

He took the gift, albeit awkwardly, and gave a stiff smile at the kind gesture. Honestly, he had never really… been one for receiving such things - though he guessed he’d never done anything to deserve them. Even now, though, it was an apology.

Did he really give off such an upset vibe? And here he thought he was mellowing out in his old age.

Nevertheless, he opened the gift with deft hands, a small mirthful glint shining in his eyes when he finally saw what it was.

“Lili, this is so thoughtful,” he bowed his head in thanks, “I’m grateful for it.”

She bashfully looked at her feet, wringing her hands a bit as he opened the gift. When he sounded pleased, however, she looked up to find him bowing in her direction. She let out a small squeak, too quiet for anyone around them to hear, and quickly replied. 

“O-oh, you’re welcome. I-I just didn’t want you to be upset since I really do like it here and…. and anyway, thank you for always working so hard, you know… we all have a place here because of you so…” she looked to her feet again, blushing bright red. Apparently incapable of finishing her thought aloud for a moment. “th-thanks”  

[theimmortalshowman-blog]

“My pleasure, Lili,” he murmured, eyes softening.

However, they soon hardened again, and he took a deep breath, “anyway, I must be off. Again, thank you.” With that said, he gave one last bow in goodbye, beginning to step away.

“Take care of yourself, now!” He called over his shoulder, sending a stiff wave.

[fiammina]

theimmortalshowman‌:

He pointed to his own chin, motioning gently, “just there- Ah, I think you got it. What is that?”

The question might be perceived as an odd one, but Arthur had found a curiousity. Usually, Lorenzo wasn’t one to be caught looking out of sorts, but for once, he was.

He wiped his chin to get whatever had gotten stuck to it off, looking down at his palm with both confusion and embarrassment written all over his face. He usually groomed the hell out of himself like a cat before he so much as left his room. How had that happened?

“ I don’t know — ”     he mumbled, hesitantly looking back up at him with a shamefaced blush on his cheeks. It was a small spec of food that must’ve gotten on his face from breakfast, and he really did not want to admit that. It was not like him at all.

…He’d also figured a few reasons why he might be more relaxed, happy, and he didn’t want Arthur to be figuring that out.

[theimmortalshowman-blog]

Arthur chuckled, “well, it is certainly gone now. Thought you would appreciate knowing than, uh, not...”

There was something else that Arthur had wanted to ask, alas, he had forgotten. He would make a jest about old age, however he doubted Lorenzo would understand. Not to mention, Arthur didn’t exactly want everyone knowing his true... condition.

“Anyway, it’s nice to see you so relaxed,” he commented, “whatever you’re doing, keep it up.”

[theimmortalshowman-blog]

Newcomer

[theimmortalshowman-blog]

“I’m sorry, my fine fellow, I have no clue,” he offered, seemingly disinterested in the others confusion. But, once he caught a glimpse of the other, seeing how he really wasn’t playing a facade, Arthur rolled his eyes and relented.

Empathy began to seep into his conscience, and he took a deep breath as he thought, “I really have no idea how you came to be in my Park, for I have certainly not asked for or received word of any sort of ancient dragon coming here. However, I suppose if you must find out, you can stay until some information comes forth.”

A beat, “as long as you work for me while you do. I don’t offer out a place to stay for free.”